Hilarious SPAM

nat · 07/05/2007, 01:19 PM

OK, so the e-mail filters I have here at work are absolutely horrible so lots and lots of spam gets through.

Usually this results in a "Block Sender" command issued. However, before the message disappears sometimes I read a bit of what the message was about. On a rare occasion, some of this stuff is just really really funny. I usually always keep these nuggets around to go back and laugh at later.

Now, through this thread, I will be sharing some of that stuff with you. Here's todays winner:

  Hello my friend!

  I am ready to kill myself and eat my dog, if medicine prices here (<URL deleted>) are bad.

  Look, the site and call me 1-800 if its wrong..

  My dog and I are still alive ;)

Nazi NecroPhile · 07/05/2007, 01:29 PM

He might want to try eating the dog first - it's almost impossible to do after harakiri time.

So, this is supposed to get you to buy prescription drugs from them? It doesn't inspire too much confidence, as they obviously have this unbalanced weirdo on the wrong shit.

Keranu · 07/05/2007, 02:56 PM

I'm a person who actually keeps some of his spam because some of it is just so damn funny. I'll have to post some examples later, it's usually the Chinese ones that are the best

.

Dark Fact · 07/05/2007, 05:18 PM

So who hasn't received offers for penis and breast enlargements yet?

Turbo D · 07/05/2007, 10:02 PM

I used to get every spam that existed when I had aol mail a few years ago. Now that I got a free yahoo, the spam is on a minimum.

TR0N · 07/05/2007, 10:06 PM

I hate spam

Kitsunexus · 07/05/2007, 10:22 PM

Spam? What is this spam, and how can I get it? ;)

Turbo D · 07/05/2007, 10:41 PM

You can buy it at the market, makes a great breakfast meat

TR0N · 07/05/2007, 11:08 PM

Spam bacon and eggs spam.

Spam sasuage bacon and eggs spam.

SPAM ! SPAM! SPAM!

termis · 07/06/2007, 12:30 AM

Spam musubi is fantastic.

Turbo D · 07/06/2007, 01:03 AM

I love spam musubi, I ate 2 yesterday from L&L HB.

nat · 07/06/2007, 01:38 AM

I'm speechless at how quickly my new thread was hijacked.

Nazi NecroPhile · 07/06/2007, 10:01 AM

Quote from: nat on 07/06/2007, 01:38 AMI'm speechless at how quickly my new thread was hijacked.

Thank the gods that your typing finger is still working.

nat · 07/12/2007, 03:40 PM

Today's nugget:

Be a Man with a capital letter.

<URL deleted>

With Penis Enlarge Patch women will always fix their attention on your penis.

TR0N · 07/12/2007, 10:38 PM

Quote from: nat on 07/12/2007, 03:40 PMToday's nugget:

Be a Man with a capital letter.

<URL deleted>

With Penis Enlarge Patch women will always fix their attention on your penis.

The engrish in those spam e-mails are some thing.

nat · 07/17/2007, 12:05 PM

Quote from: <TRON> on 07/12/2007, 10:38 PM The engrish in those spam e-mails are some thing.

You're telling me.

Here's a snippet from one of today's spam. The subject was "When will it be okay?":

Yes, Roshni, I did. That man whip has truly gone off the deep end. beat
sparkling We withheld talked about Bush being delusional Id also like beat
to suggest a wriggle return of gym classes, but apple maybe in a new format.
paint My gym classes were a In silly asking this question, Mr. Irwine pushed
his plate away, forsook threw himself back bed in out his chair, and look
call coil It was brain nice meeting owe you, Emma said. The fact that dry
it was swiftly churning day was another reason fire sagittal why it was
inconvenient to have the whittaws

"That man whip has truly gone off the deep end."

nat · 07/17/2007, 03:43 PM

Oh Annie oh my Jesus Annie killed that stupid broad - He rolled back and peeked through the window. I may go with you - probably will, in fact - but I am going to go with a by-God bellyful of caviar.

Nazi NecroPhile · 07/17/2007, 04:13 PM

Quote from: nat on 07/17/2007, 03:43 PMOh Annie oh my Jesus Annie killed that stupid broad - He rolled back and peeked through the window. I may go with you - probably will, in fact - but I am going to go with a by-God bellyful of caviar.

Spam quoting Stephen King. Just when I thought I've seen everything.....

nat · 08/30/2007, 01:56 PM

SUBJECT: how did you get that on film, man?

this is not good. If this video gets to her husband your both dead. here is where I found it...<URL removed>

Keranu · 08/31/2007, 04:25 PM

Haha, that's great. I really need to start posting all of my spam mail here since I keep them.

nat · 08/31/2007, 06:22 PM

Please do. I've been getting a lot of uninteresting crap lately.

Every once in a while a humorous nugget slips through.

Keranu · 09/01/2007, 02:02 AM

"From:   "Crosby" <fwk@culverco.com>
From:   "Crosby" <fwk@culverco.com>
Subject:   relapse

ERMX Gets into Nitride Devices! Applications Are Amazing!

EntreMetrix Inc. (ERMX)
$0.16

Nitride Wafers are the next level in super technology. From Super
Energy
Conductors to Nano-Lasers used in microscopic surgery. ERMX is moved
into a joint venture to manufacture Nitride devices out of China. This
is huge get on ERMX Monday!

I dropped the facade of them leading and I led.

A recent survey has poured salt on a festering wound that the Realty
Industry seems unwilling to heal.

It has nothing to do with the letters themselves, but everything to do
with how they use what they learn from those designation courses.

Leading often makes people uncomfortable. I am a Pennsylvania-licensed
real estate instructor, a course author, and the marketing director of
the state's largest school for real estate professionals.
They may not even care to stop the bad clicks.
But for the most part at best, the net is a lead generator. Afterall,
all they did was sign up for your free report, IDX, or Free CMA form.
So lets see how they are helping. If Google starts to lose ad revenue,
then they will start to care about reducing the amount of click fraud.
So I hear all the time how a forced opt-in to IDX or VOW is antithical
to the anti transparency of the the web.

So often though we put up a brochure website and call it marketing.

Maybe my own licensing test should have been a clue. Real Estate
Marketing Blog : Is Your Professionalism Killing Sales?"

Keranu · 09/01/2007, 02:06 AM

"From:   "Rosalia" <jbao@gwi.net>
Subject:   To create a vaccine that could rally the immune system of mice, the NYU researchers designed a vaccine in which scrapie prions were attached to a genetically modified strain of Salmonella.
Date:   Wed, 20 Jun 2007 20:22:04 +0200

In the long run, Mark said this can reduce US slaughter capacity and increase costs for cattle feeders. Poetry In Slow Motion - Behind-the-scenes documentary on Midway bringing the style of John Woo to video games.
border packers and financially weakened border feedyards.
Seven months later, a BSE case was discovered in Washington state, which led to a loss of most US beef export markets.
The prion vaccine developed at NYU would most likely first be used to protect livestock, since most prion infections occur in animals and are thought to be transmitted orally, explains Dr. R-CALF railed in its suit against the USDA about the environmental impact of those semi-trucks hauling cattle in from Canada. has been doing just fine without exports, so Japan's concern with the U.
That is the reason for the careful methodical evaluation of science and process that has gone on.
" Currently, an outbreak of chronic wasting disease is occurring in some Western states, and the disease's geographic range is expanding. Transat to resume non-stop flights to Paris Home :: Web Directory :: France Hotels News :: Free RSS news :: Free Newsletter :: Tell a Friend Clientfinder. com Nome Search Powered by :: Free RSS news Add RSS news to your web site France Hotel news vertical portal can now be syndicated quickly and easily using our new Really Simple Syndication feeds.
The version of prion disease that affects humans usually occurs spontaneously, and only rarely as a result of eating contaminated meat."

Keranu · 09/01/2007, 02:10 AM

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virtual time must exist for music to function rhetorically (Sellnow).
However it can sometimes work out otherwise. In fact, it
"If you know your history/ Then you would know where you coming from/
Then you wouldn't have to ask me/ Who the 'eck do I think
"Let's get together and feel all right/ I'm pleadin' to mankind! One
love/ Oh, Lord! One Heart/ Give thanks and praise to the Lord

on the way/ Make it much easier/ Jah love, Jah love, protect us"
Positive Vibrations. The greatest thing of Bob Marley's music and
ability to persuade was the fact he never used it to stir false beliefs. His
words were
There are hundreds of thousands of people screaming for you on stage.
The Prime Minister and leader of the opposition sit in the hearts of
Europeans, Africans, and Americans. Lyrics and music work together to
offer messages comprised of both theoretical and
recruit as many people into his particular beliefs, his standpoint on
peace and unity was felt throughout the world. "

nat · 09/03/2007, 10:36 PM

"Nitride Wafers are the next level in super technology."

What the fuck is a Nitride Wafer?

Keranu · 09/04/2007, 12:18 AM

I wish I knew, but it's a stroke of genius.

Turbo D · 09/04/2007, 04:18 AM

It sounds like a tasty cookie

Keranu · 09/04/2007, 07:02 PM

Cookies of the future!

nat · 06/25/2008, 02:31 PM

I haven't updated this space in the better part of a year. I guess my spam filter has been working exceptionally well lately. However, in rare form, it let this little nugget slip through this morning:

SUBJECT: I love you. First time Ive ever been in love.

hiiiya

I havenot talked to you however we are friends with an individual in common who gave me your email because I recently got to city. They told me u'd be intrested in hooking up with a sexy slap of booty like this hahaha. Neways I will not ever login my e-mail so will not wan't to meat i can hand you my pix and guarantee im as hot as i say. hit me up up on my Y! Messenger.

so yes just send me a message to Y! Messenger: gwennbunny8

Do not write back to this emaile since i will not check it. google Yahoo messenger if you dont have it to download it

Byee

nectarsis · 06/25/2008, 02:34 PM

Sexy slap of booty MUAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Nazi NecroPhile · 06/25/2008, 03:17 PM

Quote from: nat on 06/25/2008, 02:31 PMSUBJECT: I love you. First time Ive ever been in love.

hiiiya

I havenot talked to you however we are friends with an individual in common who gave me your email because I recently got to city. They told me u'd be intrested in hooking up with a sexy slap of booty like this hahaha. Neways I will not ever login my e-mail so will not wan't to meat i can hand you my pix and guarantee im as hot as i say. hit me up up on my Y! Messenger.

so yes just send me a message to Y! Messenger: gwennbunny8

Do not write back to this emaile since i will not check it. google Yahoo messenger if you dont have it to download it

Byee

Best typo ever!

Turbo D · 06/25/2008, 05:55 PM

Thats some funny azz shit!

Good ol' spam

nat · 04/07/2010, 07:44 PM

Subject: The workman raised his green fedora and scratched his head.

<URL deleted>
But I did not say that I would not bind myself, Celeste. At this point, what could it hurt?
The little homo had apparently gotten the word from Too-Too. Hunted for a killing that was not yours?

guyjin · 04/07/2010, 08:06 PM

esteban · 04/07/2010, 09:33 PM

Quote from: nat on 04/07/2010, 07:44 PMSubject: The workman raised his green fedora and scratched his head.

<URL deleted>
But I did not say that I would not bind myself, Celeste. At this point, what could it hurt?
The little homo had apparently gotten the word from Too-Too. Hunted for a killing that was not yours?

You had me at "Too-Too".

Gogan · 04/09/2010, 12:44 PM

God, I gotta start readin some o this spam, I immediately delete it. I've been missing out on so much!