Worst Turbo game of 1991

[guyjin]

Worst turbo game of 1991: pick it and flick it!

[Nazi NecroPhile]

Plenty of chaff in '91.  The sports games are snoozers, but they're all right... for sports games.  I'm torn between the four way shit fest of Impossamole, Tale Spin, Turrican, and Yo, Bro.  They all suck it hard core, but Turdican wins my vote for being the least playable and most frustrating.

[JoshTurboTrollX]

I guess I was so disappointing with Turrican cause I actually liked the NES and Super Turrican on SNES.

So yeah- Turrican got my vote.   

[Mathius]

Yo, Bro gets my vote for being a horrible game, plus one of the dumbest titles for a game, EVER!

[guyjin]

wow, turrican is worse than the TV Sports games? really?

[Nazi NecroPhile]

wow, turrican is worse than the TV Sports games? really?

It is in my book.  The TV Sports titles are sucky as games in general (like most all sports titles), but they're okay when compared to other sports games; Turrican sucks in every way and is a giant fail when compared to other platformers.

[blueraven]

Yo Bro. unplayable.

[Sinistron]

I find TV Sports Basketball 100% unplayable (I do however enjoy TV Sports Hockey and Football) -- normally this would take the prize- but this list includes Turrican- which is like a practical joke created by the gaming gods- all gathered around up there pointing down laughing as little Billy or whoever slides that Turrican hucard in for the first time...

[Tatsujin]

i voted for sinistron.





















NOT..lol

[CrackTiger]

I just went ahead and voted Yo Bro. I haven't spent enough time with some of these games, but Yo Bro really was the most unenjoyable from what I remember.

[Tatsujin]

i think the boxings stinks the most.

[nat]

Yo Bro, really? I've got a soft spot for Yo Bro. It's hardly the system's best game, but it certainly can't class with the likes of Turrican and Talespin.

So I voted for Talespin, probably the worst Disney game released on any platform, ever, in all of history.

[guyjin]

So I voted for Talespin, probably the worst Disney game released on any platform, ever, in all of history.

You haven't played any of their Gameboy/DS stuff, have you?

[bacteria]

So, excuse me for being dumb here, but are the games shown here all the 1991 releases or just a selection the poster doesn't like??

[guyjin]

So, excuse me for being dumb here, but are the games shown here all the 1991 releases or just a selection the poster doesn't like??

Those are all the TG16 releases from 1991.

[esteban]

Again, you folks surprise me.

Yo'Bro shouldn't be in the lead.  It is completely playable, and, dare I say, is actually more conducive to pleasure* than many of the other games listed.

Ballistix is unplayable and brings no pleasure. It gets my vote, though there were many stinkers that are right up there with Ballistix.



* pleasure in the sense that you are "willing to play some more" and you "kinda want to get to the next stage". You will never feel this way about Ballistix.

[Sinistron]

Yo'Bro shouldn't be in the lead.  It is completely playable, and, dare I say, is actually more conducive to pleasure* than many of the other games listed.

That's how I feel about Talespin.  Dammit Nat! Why'd you have to go play that water level first!?    Not that the other levels are award winners or anything- but there's some fun to be had.

On the other hand- I'm glad to see Turdican at least tied for worst.  Haven't played Ballistix yet- and I have zero desire to.  I pretty much agree with the hatred for Yo Bro! but it's definitely infinitely more playable than Turricrap.

[guyjin]

Ballistix is indeed a stinker. but it's not nearly as boring as basketball.

[esteban]

Yo'Bro shouldn't be in the lead.  It is completely playable, and, dare I say, is actually more conducive to pleasure* than many of the other games listed.

That's how I feel about Talespin.  Dammit Nat! Why'd you have to go play that water level first!?    Not that the other levels are award winners or anything- but there's some fun to be had.

On the other hand- I'm glad to see Turdican at least tied for worst.  Haven't played Ballistix yet- and I have zero desire to.  I pretty much agree with the hatred for Yo Bro! but it's definitely infinitely more playable than Turricrap.

I actually made the attempt to at least finish the first level in Turrican, but I must be missing some chromosomes because it was TOUGH. I don't read FAQs or guides for games, and I must say that I was feeling pretty lame with my utter lack of progress.

[Nazi NecroPhile]

I actually made the attempt to at least finish the first level in Turrican, but I must be missing some chromosomes because it was TOUGH. I don't read FAQs or guides for games, and I must say that I was feeling pretty lame with my utter lack of progress.

That's exactly why I hate Turdican.  I could overlook the blah visuals if it were at least enjoyable to play, but as it is, it's too frustratingly difficult and cheap to be fun in any way, shape, or form.

[esteban]

I actually made the attempt to at least finish the first level in Turrican, but I must be missing some chromosomes because it was TOUGH. I don't read FAQs or guides for games, and I must say that I was feeling pretty lame with my utter lack of progress.

That's exactly why I hate Turdican.  I could overlook the blah visuals if it were at least enjoyable to play, but as it is, it's too frustratingly difficult and cheap to be fun in any way, shape, or form.

Yeah, Old Rover posted a pretty comprehensive guide to the game here some time ago, but I couldn't use it without feeling like a chump. I need to figure out Turrican on my own terms, or not at all, goddammit.

[Nazi NecroPhile]

Yeah, Old Rover posted a pretty comprehensive guide to the game here some time ago, but I couldn't use it without feeling like a chump. I need to figure out Turrican on my own terms, or not at all, goddammit.

Whenever I finally pick up a copy for the collection, I'll cheat like a mo-fo and use the invincibility option.  Even then, I've no doubt that it'll feel less like fun and more like a chore.

[Shark Cannon]

Another vote for Turrican, what a mess.  Talespin was pretty close to getting my vote but it norrowly got edged out by at least not having an aggressively ugly cover.

BTW who voted for Parasol Stars?  It's not amazing or anything but its a damn masterpiece compared to 60% of the rest of the list.

[blueraven]

Wow. I'm amazed at this point. Talespin was harsh but it was at least somewhat controllable.

Turrican takes the lead? 

[esteban]

BTW who voted for Parasol Stars?  It's not amazing or anything but its a damn masterpiece compared to 60% of the rest of the list.

But Parasol Stars is an amazing game!

Ballistix still deserves to be the worst game. Someone mentioned that it is playable... but is it? I haven't had much patience for it, but maybe I'm missing something? There doesn't seem to be an incentive to actually play Ballistix... I don't feel rewarded, I don't even know what I'm doing, but that could change if someone could explain (the admittedly little) there is to appreciate.

Yes, that was a desperate plea. Humor me.

[Nazi NecroPhile]

BTW who voted for Parasol Stars?

Likely the same tool that voted for Ys in one of the other 'worst of' polls.

Ballistix still deserves to be the worst game. Someone mentioned that it is playable... but is it? I haven't had much patience for it, but maybe I'm missing something? There doesn't seem to be an incentive to actually play Ballistix... I don't feel rewarded, I don't even know what I'm doing, but that could change if someone could explain (the admittedly little) there is to appreciate.

Yes, that was a desperate plea. Humor me.

Oh, it's certainly playable; it's just not any fun.  There's way too frickin' many levels (more or less identical levels at that), so there's not much enjoyment to be found.  The only real incentive to play it is to beat it..... just so you can say you beat it and we'll all think that you're extra cool. 

[esteban]

There's way too frickin' many levels (more or less identical levels at that), so there's not much enjoyment to be found.  The only real incentive to play it is to beat it..... just so you can say you beat it and we'll all think that you're extra cool. 

OK, that helps put things in perspective .

You see, I actually had WAY more fun playing Yo'Bro because I wanted to get to the next level, something I never felt in Ballistix.

Yo'Bro could have been so much better. Goddammit.

[cosmos99]

I voted for the hockey thing.... I don't like sports games.

[shubibiman]

Ballistix.
Turrican is too much of a classic (at least here in Europe) and it is not so bad. Actually, it's just like all the other platformers that used to be released on the Amiga or on the ST : nice looking but unplayable. Impossamole and Jim Power are other instances that were also released on the PCE/TGX.
Ballistix just has ZERO interest and has nothing impressive to it.

[Sinistron]

Ballistix.
Turrican is too much of a classic (at least here in Europe) and it is not so bad. Actually, it's just like all the other platformers that used to be released on the Amiga or on the ST : nice looking but unplayable. Impossamole and Jim Power are other instances that were also released on the PCE/TGX.
Ballistix just has ZERO interest and has nothing impressive to it.

how does unplayable equal not so bad?

[Arkhan Asylum]

Ballistix has a nice title screen.


Turrican is the most overrated game ever.  Everyone that owns a C64/Amiga is like

OMGTURRICANSOAWeSOMEPLAY IT

and then you do and you cant even shoot diagonally, the weapons blow, and turrican is stiffer than a viagra ridden penis.

[OldRover]

I voted Impossamole. Thirty more seconds of coding and it could have been a decent game, but alas, they snoozed for the 30 seconds it took to code the coldet and it ruined the entire game experience. Talespin gets a very, very close second for total crap playability and some of the most drab visuals ever.

So much Turrican hate! Hah, I expect it. It's one of my favorite games on the system, and it's no surprise that it owns so many players. It is a very difficult game but certainly not unplayable. You just have to remember where everything is, that's all. Maybe one day I'll do a video playthrough of the game to prove that not only is it completely playable, but also beatable. Unlike other hard games on the system, it's hard on its own merits, not because of bullshit cheap hits (like Shape Shifter) or sucky coding (like Shape Shifter, again, or The Legendary Axe).

Ballistix is certainly a pretty stupid game, but it's not so terrible that it would top my list. Yeah, I owned it back in the day and had a few laughs with it. It's really not too fun with one player but it can be pretty fun with two. Really though, I think it came out too late...three or four years prior, it probably would have been a great game.

And Yo Bro...I hate it and think it's really stupid, but at least it's technically sound. It's just boring.

[Arkhan Asylum]

as a side scroller shooty action game, I always thought turrican was half ass.


they could have made it better than they did.  At least the tunes were good

[Adol2009]

I voted for Sinistron. Clearly the worst thing ever made on Earth ^^

[Tatsujin]

turrican was one of the most playable titles on the amiga and the great sound did its rest to push it up to heaven of gamegems.

turrican II did it even better in many aspects. and at that time 99% played with a joystick with no jump button.

but they did almost everything wrong for the TG16 port. started with the utterly crap music and ended with the disproved gameplay. the grafx was ok and amost equal to the amiga version.

[OldRover]

Of course, the PCE/TG16 didn't have a MOD player until Tom came around.

[Gogan]

I voted for Sinistron. Clearly the worst thing ever made on Earth ^^

[Tatsujin]

Of course, the PCE/TG16 didn't have a MOD player until Tom came around.

so true

[Arkhan Asylum]

Of course, the PCE/TG16 didn't have a MOD player until Tom came around.

I thought Dave Michel wrote that.

Mod shmod.  out the MOD to a recorder and make a wav for the Cd to play

Turrican is best on the C64 to me. The music fits the goony game the best.

[OldRover]

I don't think that that Dave was writing a MOD player. David Shadoff was writing an MMF-like player, and Trilinear I believe wrote a MIDI converter, but it was Tom who wrote an actual MOD player.

[Arkhan Asylum]

I don't think that that Dave was writing a MOD player. David Shadoff was writing an MMF-like player, and Trilinear I believe wrote a MIDI converter, but it was Tom who wrote an actual MOD player.

Hmm i thought the code originated from DM.

PS: MML converter / player is almost ready to go more public like

[Tatsujin]

Turrican is best on the C64 to me. The music fits the goony game the best.

the sid music from ramiro is great. just a shame that only two levels got music support.

[shubibiman]

Unlike other hard games on the system, it's hard on its own merits, not because of bullshit cheap hits (like Shape Shifter) or sucky coding (like Shape Shifter, again, or The Legendary Axe).

The Legendary Axe is a very playable game that I played through som e ten years ago.

[Arkhan Asylum]

Turrican is best on the C64 to me. The music fits the goony game the best.

the sid music from ramiro is great. just a shame that only two levels got music support.

ooh.  i usually turn the crappy game off before I beat the first level.  Lol...

[esteban]

Unlike other hard games on the system, it's hard on its own merits, not because of bullshit cheap hits (like Shape Shifter) or sucky coding (like Shape Shifter, again, or The Legendary Axe).

The Legendary Axe is a very playable game that I played through som e ten years ago.

Agreed. Legendary Axe is quite playable.

I'm sure nodtveidt has mentioned his critique of LA in the past, but I honestly forget it. Please refresh our memories, nod!

[Arkhan Asylum]

I think Legendary Axe is very playable, and has a strange atmosphere.  Its sure not the greatest thing ever visually, but I still always thought it was a pretty fun game.

It could be worse.  It could be Rastan II

[blueraven]

It could be worse.  It could be Rastan II

You HAD to bring up Rastan.

w00T? lmao. Rastan is teH best 4r33lZ. 

I know that I will draw the ire of everyone in here; that said I actually love that piece of junk. It's the reason I bought my first Genny. In what other game can you rip through a level with lightning-charged Wolverine claws? In what other game are the type-written cut-scenes so hilariously bad - "I must stand my ground. Oh! Here come tough enemies." -  that you make fun of them every time? You can easily kill enemies behind you and like two blocks away with the longsword, making the game much easier than most would think.

IMHO Legendary Axe is freaking great. LAII is good too.

Yo Bro on Magic Engine put me to sleep. That's why I voted for it.

Rastan is not a piece of junk, or even worse; JJ and Jeff.

[OldRover]

The only way someone could actually enjoy the gameplay of The Legendary Axe is if they played it when it was new. The game has so many technical limitations that hurt the gameplay, and it stems largely from terrible collision detection (coldet). What's worse, the sound is irritating and the graphics are bland. It's like an NES game with a few extra colors.

[esteban]

The only way someone could actually enjoy the gameplay of The Legendary Axe is if they played it when it was new. The game has so many technical limitations that hurt the gameplay, and it stems largely from terrible collision detection (coldet). What's worse, the sound is irritating and the graphics are bland. It's like an NES game with a few extra colors.

Hey, thanks .

Now, in the spirit of defending Legendary Axe, I offer these thoughts (but I really don't intend to argue with you, think of it as stating our positions ).

I won't argue the collision detection, since I'd have to replay it first. But it certainly is very playable and FUN despite any issues with the collision detection.

OMG, the graphics are sweet! It is actually one of the best PCE games when it comes to aesthetics and atmosphere (character design, the look of the levels, etc.), which is pretty great since it was an early HuCard.

And the sound (sound effects, I'm assuming) are certainly not irritating or grating (as they often are in most games).

And the music. The music? Well, you can read my thoughts below:

Perhaps this will encourage some folks to listen to the full Makyou Densetsu soundtrack:

———-
Stage 1: Warm and enchanting–until you get to that really urgent sequence at the end–which is a nice bit of drama.

Stage 2: Too-hip and catchy for its own good. You'll start snapping your fingers if you're not careful. Caverns were never this fun.

Stage 3: Rich, soaring and lovely. Too graceful and cultured for Gogan, though.

Stage 4: A break from the more somber undertones in the soundtrack thus far. Initially, this track starts out far too upbeat, cheerful and happy for my tastes. But then its 110% pure, unadulterated catchiness wins me over, every damn. Yeah, it's that catchy.

Stage 5: Back to a more somber, atmospheric piece... it has a definite marching-band-meets-haunted-cavern vibe to it. I love the "staccato" bass in this. I actually don't really understand musical terms, so that's the best way I can describe it.

Stage 6: This is a deliciously catchy, warm-sounding anthem dedicated to a$$-kicking, replete with a frenetic organ. Simply divine. If this song doesn't make you want to engage in gratuitous violence, nothing will. Notice how the opening drama continues to build and build, only to loop back to the beginning seamlessly to start all over again.

Stage 7: OK, this might not be everyone's cup of tea, but it captures the tediousness of this stage (navigating the maze). For the record, I like this track, but it is one of the weaker ones.

Boss tunes: OK, but a short loop. I especially like the "spooky" vibe infused in the final boss music.

Ending credits: OK, but pretty generic, IMO. None of the flair and unique qualities from the stage music carried over. Oh well.

Again, I'm not trying to convince you to change your mind, I just want to proclaim the greatness of Legendary Axe .

[Arkhan Asylum]

I like the dopey ass music in level 1 of LA