Retro VGS Game Console

[esteban]

i took a pic this morning of an snes mini and put a jag shell on top cause someone asked for it.  judge for yourselves.  mine is on the bottom:

I love that you created this "prototype" in a matter of minutes. .)

[mickcris]

Yeah. No tape. Didn't want to have to clean up the mess. Would have also had to remove a little bit of plastic if I wanted it to fit exactly like they have it. I don't have an endless supply of jag shells like them though.

[DeshDildo]

i took a pic this morning of an snes mini and put a jag shell on top cause someone asked for it.  judge for yourselves.  mine is on the bottom:

Congratulations.  You officially already own a Coleco Chameleon!

[Sarumaru]

i took a pic this morning of an snes mini and put a jag shell on top cause someone asked for it.  judge for yourselves.  mine is on the bottom:

Congratulations.  You officially already own a Coleco Chameleon!

I didn't read any of this thread, and I don't have to because this thing stinks of scam. Just develop for shit that already exists. There's a billion clone consoles out there. Make some snes or genny games ffs. Still think people are trying to just cash-in on the retro thing but whatever.

[ClodBusted]

Are you sure want to miss out on 44 pages of amusement, embarrasement and enjoyment?

[NightWolve]

It all gets weirder! 

So the new Coleco Chameleon "prototype" is now on-display the the New York Toy Fair, and it's looking suspiciously like what they're showing is a SNES-clone motherboard, and that the "prototype" cartridge is actually an SD2SNES or a Super Everdrive.

The new KickStarter campaign starts in 2 weeks.

I didn't think that there was any way that this whole saga could possibly get any stranger! 

Sure looks like an SNES connector to me.

"Look everybody, so this is how things worked in the old days! You see that cartridge slot? Now look in my hand, this is a cartridge, and I'm going to push it into said slot, and power our console on! OK, here we go! Magic, isn't it??"

OMG, even if you didn't recognize that flashcart, his gamepad is clearly SNES! Hahahaha! This is for real, right before our very eyes ? And it basically was a part II presentation of their former engineer's "Power goes in, video goes out!" deleted video... 

[SignOfZeta]

Yeah, I found the whole "this is a cartridge" thing a pathetic attempt at super obvious misdirection. Nobody has forgotten The Cartridge. We have have 3DS, digital cameras with SD card slots, USB drives, etc (as well as SNES). You'd thing they're trying to bring back the steam engine or something. 

Hopefully the millionaire heiress engineer of their dreams is paying attention to Toy Fair this year or our hilarious saga maybe finally conclude.

[SignOfZeta]

Hang on, has anyone mentioned Underpants Gnomes? I ask because that's exactly they these tools are. They have the idea "A game system somehow invented by us so that we get all the money", but the important part where they actually figure out what the spec is...that's just completely ignored by them and they don't seem to have a problem with it.

[Gredler]

Yeah, I found the whole "this is a cartridge" thing a pathetic attempt at super obvious misdirection. Nobody has forgotten The Cartridge. We have have 3DS, digital cameras with SD card slots, USB drives, etc (as well as SNES). You'd thing they're trying to bring back the steam engine or something. 

I keep assuming they are going to put a sd card equivalent in a large plastic case and call it a cartridge, that'd seem to be the cheapest manufacturing option.

[esteban]

Sadly, I recognized the first game he played simply by the music.

[Psycho Punch]

Yeah, I found the whole "this is a cartridge" thing a pathetic attempt at super obvious misdirection. Nobody has forgotten The Cartridge. We have have 3DS, digital cameras with SD card slots, USB drives, etc (as well as SNES). You'd thing they're trying to bring back the steam engine or something. 

I keep assuming they are going to put a sd card equivalent in a large plastic case and call it a cartridge, that'd seem to be the cheapest manufacturing option.

I once bought a USB drive from Sandisk that actually had a Micro SD card reader inside (yes with an SD slot hidden inside, not soldered) lol. The NeoGeo X did that too if I recall correctly so I don't see why not... besides the low quality.

[SignOfZeta]

It doesn't really matter how they make it*, it will function** the same way. The old way of giving direct memory access to whatever is on the cart died with...GBA, maybe? Now everything is built like a CD and compressed to fuck and back to save space. This is why cart games have load times now. It's certainly possible to do things the old way, plenty of non-gaming equipment is still made this way, but considering it took them a fucking YEAR just to get to the point where they are shoving SNESs into Jags like some kind of fucked up Thanksgiving Turducken I doubt we'll see this.








* they won't make it.

** it won't function at all.

[LostFlunky]

Hang on, has anyone mentioned Underpants Gnomes? I ask because that's exactly they these tools are. They have the idea "A game system somehow invented by us so that we get all the money", but the important part where they actually figure out what the spec is...that's just completely ignored by them and they don't seem to have a problem with it.

Yeah, I think that was on page two of the original 140 page thread on AA...

[SignOfZeta]

We're so behind...

[esteban]

It doesn't really matter how they make it*, it will function** the same way. The old way of giving direct memory access to whatever is on the cart died with...GBA, maybe? Now everything is built like a CD and compressed to fuck and back to save space. This is why cart games have load times now. It's certainly possible to do things the old way, plenty of non-gaming equipment is still made this way, but considering it took them a fucking YEAR just to get to the point where they are shoving SNESs into Jags like some kind of fucked up Thanksgiving Turducken I doubt we'll see this.








* they won't make it.

** it won't function at all.

I can't add a single word.

[elmer]

For your amusement, "Pat the NES Punk" weighs in with an excellent 33-minute summary/expose/rant ...

[NightWolve]

What a perfect ending to their video. 

[SignOfZeta]

I can't believe you guys prefer the video versions of Podcasts. That's totally foreign to me.

[o.pwuaioc]

I can't believe you guys prefer the video versions of Podcasts. That's totally foreign to me.

Gimme a written article over either any day!

[SignOfZeta]

I can't believe you guys prefer the video versions of Podcasts. That's totally foreign to me.

Gimme a written article over either any day!

http://arstechnica.com/gaming/2015/12/coleco-chameleon-continues-quixotic-quest-for-contemporary-cartridge-console/

I asked this guy to do a follow up, he said he might. This was before the Toy Fair thing. I kinda hope he does because Ars Technica is probably the best site of its kind. I also kinda hope he doesn't because this level of total failure probably isn't worth their time.

I mean, never mind that they took a 25 year old system that Nintendo made, shoved it into a shell Atari made (well, they reproed that, to be fair) and some pirate carts to Toy Fair trying to increase interest.* Forget that. Just look at how *bad* of a job they did scamming people. They couldn't even convert the SNES pads to USB connectors, which you could do pretty easily. They could have had an auto executing flash cart. They could have used paint instead of electrical tape. They could have run a micro PC which can emulate anything and would put out HDMI. They could have demoed more believable games. Rough emulators rarely run high end first party FX2 games like Yoshi's Island with %100 accuracy, that's common knowledge! These people have the technical accumen of cave men...which is actually pretty normal for even the most esteemed people in the world of marketing.







* They were really interested in SNES in 1990, Mike. You should have brought it then.

[mickcris]

It amazes me that they botched this worse than the 1st effort already.  They really should have stopped after the 1st attempt failed.  Wonder if when this fails, they will come back for a 3rd round.  He seems determined to use those jag shells for something new.

[NightWolve]

He seems determined to use those jag shells for something new.

You don't understand, you just don't understand... Those Jaguar molds were not destroyed for a reason.... Something intervened to prevent their destruction... Providence, my friend... Divine providence, Mike Kennedy was meant to come together with his team of losers and resurrect that shell in order to succeed where Atari failed, to, by God, give it the proper glory and place in history that it deserves!!!!! BELIEVE MAN!!! BELIEVE!!!

[SignOfZeta]

I believe that if they don't fucking quit it somebody's going to jail. They've been lucky so far, nobody has given them any money. If they do get some investment they'll actually be responsible for producing something, and they have ZERO clue how to make anything. They've been at this a year now and all they have is a SNES taped to a Jag shell? Fuck, man. I have no idea how to make a game system, but I'm pretty sure if I researched it for a fucking YEAR I'd have a better idea than these clowns.

They must be counting on some magic bullet, a trust fund kid, a senile millionaire. They must think someone is going to save them, technically and fiscally, but nobody competent could stand working with them and rich people have less pathetic things to invest in...like fake Neo Geo carts or VHS tapes.*









* OK, more well respected although equally pathetic things to be sure.

[Mathius]

Zeta, thanks for the link to Ars Technica. I'm hugely impressed.

[esteban]

He seems determined to use those jag shells for something new.

You don't understand, you just don't understand... Those Jaguar molds were not destroyed for a reason.... Something intervened to prevent their destruction... Providence, my friend... Divine providence, Mike Kennedy was meant to come together with his team of losers and resurrect that shell in order to succeed where Atari failed, to, by God, give it the proper glory and place in history that it deserves!!!!! BELIEVE MAN!!! BELIEVE!!!

I concur.

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

You have restored my faith in VGS.

I can't believe you guys prefer the video versions of Podcasts. That's totally foreign to me.

Gimme a written article over either any day!

http://arstechnica.com/gaming/2015/12/coleco-chameleon-continues-quixotic-quest-for-contemporary-cartridge-console/

I asked this guy to do a follow up, he said he might. This was before the Toy Fair thing. I kinda hope he does because Ars Technica is probably the best site of its kind. I also kinda hope he doesn't because this level of total failure probably isn't worth their time.

I mean, never mind that they took a 25 year old system that Nintendo made, shoved it into a shell Atari made (well, they reproed that, to be fair) and some pirate carts to Toy Fair trying to increase interest.* Forget that. Just look at how *bad* of a job they did scamming people. They couldn't even convert the SNES pads to USB connectors, which you could do pretty easily. They could have had an auto executing flash cart. They could have used paint instead of electrical tape. They could have run a micro PC which can emulate anything and would put out HDMI. They could have demoed more believable games. Rough emulators rarely run high end first party FX2 games like Yoshi's Island with %100 accuracy, that's common knowledge! These people have the technical accumen of cave men...which is actually pretty normal for even the most esteemed people in the world of marketing.


* They were really interested in SNES in 1990, Mike. You should have brought it then.

Zeta, I love every single damn word you have posted in this damn thread.





Update: I re-read the linked Ars article and I found the bit at the end particularly prescient:

Over and over again in our interview, Kennedy tried to stress how much he and his team have learned from Retro VGS' recent troubles. "I see the last three or four months as market research," he said. "We've listened to the criticism. We're aware we brought a lot of that on ourselves. But we've learned. We're going back to bring out what we wanted to bring out before all the feature creep set in."

"Market research" from which his team has "learned" important lessons.

Indubitably.

[elmer]

They must be counting on some magic bullet, a trust fund kid, a senile millionaire. They must think someone is going to save them, technically and fiscally, but nobody competent could stand working with them and rich people have less pathetic things to invest in...like fake Neo Geo carts or ...

It was mentioned earlier in the thread, but I guess that Mike must have put on his Ruby Slippers and wished hard enough, because I think that he already got as close to that "magic bullet"/"trust-fund kid"/"senile millionaire" as he's ever likely to see ...

http://www.paramuspost.com/article.php/20151116193122623

I'm guessing that's who got Mike his "Coleco" license, and who knows, he may even be "investing" at least a little money in helping Mike make his dream come true, too.

I can't believe that Mr Cardillo's publicity drone gave the newspaper that particular picture for the puff-piece; it just makes him look like a character out of the Sopranos ... perhaps the mob boss's "dumb" son that isn't trusted to enter the family business, and so gets set up with his own "semi-legit" business instead.

[NightWolve]

He seems determined to use those jag shells for something new.

You don't understand, you just don't understand... Those Jaguar molds were not destroyed for a reason.... Something intervened to prevent their destruction... Providence, my friend... Divine providence, Mike Kennedy was meant to come together with his team of losers and resurrect that shell in order to succeed where Atari failed, to, by God, give it the proper glory and place in history that it deserves!!!!! BELIEVE MAN!!! BELIEVE!!!

I concur.

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

You have restored my faith in VGS.

I have dramatized quite a bit, but that's the excerpt that caught my eye and was the basis.

"We all thank the Jaguar for this, just the fact that it was never destroyed [the molds] over the years, it's like...it was meant to be or something..."

On one hand, I think it's cute, on the other hand, I want a Triumph Insult Comic Dog puppet to poop on all their silliness with and see this all being firmly put to an end.

[esteban]

^ I feel the same way. My heart is touched... And offended.

[SignOfZeta]

They must be counting on some magic bullet, a trust fund kid, a senile millionaire. They must think someone is going to save them, technically and fiscally, but nobody competent could stand working with them and rich people have less pathetic things to invest in...like fake Neo Geo carts or ...

It was mentioned earlier in the thread, but I guess that Mike must have put on his Ruby Slippers and wished hard enough, because I think that he already got as close to that "magic bullet"/"trust-fund kid"/"senile millionaire" as he's ever likely to see ...

http://www.paramuspost.com/article.php/20151116193122623

I'm guessing that's who got Mike his "Coleco" license, and who knows, he may even be "investing" at least a little money in helping Mike make his dream come true, too.

I can't believe that Mr Cardillo's publicity drone gave the newspaper that particular picture for the puff-piece; it just makes him look like a character out of the Sopranos ... perhaps the mob boss's "dumb" son that isn't trusted to enter the family business, and so gets set up with his own "semi-legit" business instead.

...maybe. I'm not yet convinced that the VGS teamed paid anything to have that logo put on their Jag shells. It seems just as likely that Mr Cardiolo just let them use it and if anyone is interested, then they'll pay. That seems perfectly fair to me. The Coleco brand isn't worth much now.

[elmer]

...maybe. I'm not yet convinced that the VGS teamed paid anything to have that logo put on their Jag shells. It seems just as likely that Mr Cardiolo just let them use it and if anyone is interested, then they'll pay. That seems perfectly fair to me. The Coleco brand isn't worth much now.

That's what I'm guessing, too ... no money upfront, but a cut of the KickStarter money, and royalties on any console and cartridge sales.

[DeshDildo]

It just occurred to me today that if Mike Kennedy does indeed become successful at bringing back cartridge based video game systems, I hope he brings back cassette tapes next.

[Gredler]

And tiger style lcd hand helds

[SignOfZeta]

It just occurred to me today that if Mike Kennedy does indeed become successful at bringing back cartridge based video game systems, I hope he brings back cassette tapes next.

There is currently a minor resurgence in the audio cassette world. It's small, but it's much bigger than anything this idiot will do in his life. There have even been a few major label releases in recent years.

And tiger style lcd hand helds

That would actually make sense. You can make a SNES game now, you don't need a fake new-old system to play them. Fans of segmented LCD games are fucked though since you need a bespoke screen for each title.

A while back Nintendo sent me a ground-up recreation of the Game and Watch game Ball. It was super cool. I'm not a fan of these kind of games but the dipshit Gen Y-ers with full back tattoos of He Man making love to Rainbow Bright* would probably dig right in. They love shit that sucks but is old.







* name that reference.

[crazydean]

I love how he compares the Chameleon with a homebrew game. Does he genuinely not see the difference? Why is this thing still moving forward? After a year, literally all he has is a plastic shell. I guess the rest is supposed to just fall into place.

[elmer]

While the system itself may have lurched from idiocy, to incompetence, to possible fraud ... at least it has brought out a lot of good laughs from talented folks skewering it.

I just saw this and nearly fell off my chair! 

Watara Ultravision

[SamIAm]

I can't believe that Mr Cardillo's publicity drone gave the newspaper that particular picture for the puff-piece; it just makes him look like a character out of the Sopranos ... perhaps the mob boss's "dumb" son that isn't trusted to enter the family business, and so gets set up with his own "semi-legit" business instead.

I was thinking he escaped from the set of a soap opera. He's the evil twin brother sipping cognac in a mountain lair, having kidnapped his doctor's sister who's in a coma and is pregnant with the good twin's baby, except maybe it's not, tune in to ABC tomorrow at 11:00 AM EST for a startling revelation.

Just needs an eye patch and a first name like "Grayson".

[SignOfZeta]

I was thinking he looked like the white guy in those Jacky Chan movies...but smaller.

[o.pwuaioc]

He totally looks like a Dungeon and Dragons nerd who donned an ill-fitting suit for debate competition.

[NecroPhile]

Watara Ultravision. 

[DeshDildo]

While the system itself may have lurched from idiocy, to incompetence, to possible fraud ... at least it has brought out a lot of good laughs from talented folks skewering it.

I just saw this and nearly fell off my chair! 

Watara Ultravision

The ending was brilliant.

[Psycho Punch]

While the system itself may have lurched from idiocy, to incompetence, to possible fraud ... at least it has brought out a lot of good laughs from talented folks skewering it.

I just saw this and nearly fell off my chair! 

Watara Ultravision

Please wait for the kickstarter.

[Mathius]

That's way too hilarious. I'm banning that video for spreading truths.

[NightWolve]

I just saw this and nearly fell off my chair! 

Watara Ultravision

Nice oscilloscope though, I want!

[Bloufo]

Man, I miss John Carlsen.

I reckon I'm going to go ahead and have that "Power goes in, video goes out!" printed on my favorite T-shirt.

[esteban]

Man, I miss John Carlsen.

I reckon I'm going to go ahead and have that "Power goes in, video goes out!" printed on my favorite T-shirt.

Wait, can you please explain that engineering jargon in common, everyday language?

Thank you.

[Moosehead]

We should all stop and take a moment to thank the Coleco Chameleon team for their efforts. Never in the twenty five or so years of mainstream gamer communities, since the days of USENET and BBS's, has a topic brought so many people together in agreement despite their differences. This is one topic of conversation that you can find unified and thriving on every major gaming forum on the internet.

Perhaps we should implore these gentlemen to become UN ambassadors and solve world peace once their failed scheme hits rock bottom. If console fanboys can agree so strongly, what chance does North Korea and ISIS have at resisting this incredible charisma?

[esteban]

We should all stop and take a moment to thank the Coleco Chameleon team for their efforts. Never in the twenty five or so years of mainstream gamer communities, since the days of USENET and BBS's, has a topic brought so many people together in agreement despite their differences. This is one topic of conversation that you can find unified and thriving on every major gaming forum on the internet.

Perhaps we should implore these gentlemen to become UN ambassadors and solve world peace once their failed scheme hits rock bottom. If console fanboys can agree so strongly, what chance does North Korea and ISIS have at resisting this incredible charisma?

Hahahhahahajja.

Truth.

[o.pwuaioc]

Would it be too much to call these clowns the Westboro of the gaming world?

[NightWolve]

Interesting take! 

[NightWolve]