Life Vent

[Medic_wheat]

Okay probably the most nonsensical place to post this but WTF.


I hate the inner politices of being a state employee.

I have been at my current carrer 4 months shy of 3 years.  Before this I was a medic in the Army for 8 years and I between that and this I was a broke ass college student working to get my masters degree to work as a counselor for people with disabilities.

As of early this year I got married and made what is possibly my first big life change that didn't involve just me.

The problems?

Well my wife and I met in college but due to us getting the same degree found ourself working in the same filed prior to becomingn engaged or married. Mind you all that took place with in a 2 year dating and courtship.  Not only do we work in the same filed we initaly worked in the same agency at the same filed office upone moving from our home towns.

My wife also happens to be a citizen of another country and tant created other issues with her work visa. She was initaly told prior to being hired that her continued ability to Orr in the US meanes her employer must sponsor her.  She was told there would be no problem the state has hired immigrants before and sponsorship would not be a problem once she completed her 9 month probation.....


That turned out to be a lie when she rebuffed the unwanted advances of the regional director who told her 6 months in the job that the state cannot sponsor her visa and if her current visa which was for only 12 months issues by the university upone graduation end she would be terminated.

She found a work around and got a temporary visa that had to be renewed every year....this cost $8,000.00 each time......

We got married after she got her first temporary visa and submitted request for work visa sponsorship through marriage...another $9,000.00. That cost us.  Not including getting married and so forth expenses..

Once we completed the request for sponsorship we were with in a 60-90 day bubble and waited for approval or deniale. While immigration checked every part of our relationship and marriage...

I hated feeling like our relationships validity was in question but it is understandable why immigration and department of defense does this...

The day my wifes temorary visa was to end with no word on our visa request through marriage we went into work thinking "ok last day for my wife but we can make one paycheck workout. Just don't touch our savings for our first house....be positive.  Be a rock....show her there is nothing to fear...."

Well that last day at work she got notice from department of I migrations website that her visa was approved and mailed that same day....we were ecstatic. We printed it and submitted it as proof to HR, and anyone else within management we could think of...a stay of execution one might say...


Sadly according to legal for the state agency it was not enough....l."it doesn't mean she was approved.....it is automated and only means it was mailed......". We asked if she could be placed on emergancy leave..leave without pay...anything for four days to let the paperwork to reach us via mail.....we were told no.....two days later her paper work came in with a date stamp of approval on her work visa card as twos here days before her date of termination...


But there was nothing we could do.....the termination already happened....if she were to reapply for her old job once posted she was told she would have to prove she was the most qualified....during that same month someone with five years experience in our field transfered to our office.....


We were scared that being in a small town options for my wife to find employment would be to limited....so I encouraged her to apply in bigger cities where we could both apply and find a job...if her old job got listed then she would apply and if she got it great no need to move....things go back to normal........


During her one month of unemployment she applied for unemployment benefits ....we leanerned that during your first five years as a per minute resident if you apply and USE any public assistance you will be imidiently deported...


She called frantically to have her application for benefits terminated......they made her talk to three supervisors all who encouraged her to let the application move forward....until crying she pleaded with them to just terminate the application...she felt humiliated. 

Ultimately she was interviewed for three positions in a bigger city....she was offered all three jobs and cherry picked her favorit....all still in the same agency......


I also applied to the same positions.....I was only given one interview...despite more experience, being given a recent pay rase for producing strong numbers to the state, and getting nearly perfect performance reviews each year...


Of the jobs one person got hired with only having a Bachlers degree...I didn't even get an interview.... Once more to even keep the job for what we do you MUST have a masters degree...or get it with in two years of being hired....if you don't have it prior to being hired the state will PAY for your tuition to get the degree.....   

The one I did get the interview for ...the day of my interview the same manager hired my wife....knowing full well who I was....and our intent to make a family.........I didn't get that job...instead someone with NO experience in the filed was hired....


A week later I was interviewed for another position....same agency..same job.....once again I am it hired......I am told it was a coin flip between me and the person who got it......this person seems to have. Slight ever so small more time as a counselor....at lest with this I don't feel insulted.....at lest this time it isn't someone without the same credentials as me......


But I also learn the day of my interview that my wife is pregnant.


I also learn later that weekend that due to a month gap of employment she would not be granted maternity leave when she is expected 9 months later....she will have to use what ever sick time she can get between now and then...we are must wait 90 days before her insurance will start....and I am not allows to add her time mine as the time period to are changes ended a week before she learned of her pregnancy.


So now here I am........I travel every Friday to spend the weekend wi my wife who feels alone and scared Ina bigger city without me there........I travel every Monday at 5AM to get to work in the other city....my apartment consiste of a can opener a microwave and an inflatable bed as I hope for a better job opurtunity that will allow me to move with my wife....

I am told that transfers cannot be done unless there is. Buisness need not personal...even though a personal transfer happened in my own office a year ago with the job never being posted even internally. ...


I am told I have to have a better reason to want to transfer then to be in the same city as my wife just because she is pregnant..lwhere other people are hired (I know this as a co worker from my unit to the office I recently was rejected from) are hired because "I am bored being in a rural area and want to be in a bigger city with more to do". His own words. 

I am told that I have to impress the manger.....what do my work performances, numours projects that have increased refferance rates, and soecialization in working with SSDI/SSI recipients, veterans, and workmanship comp not wow people?  Must we hired people with no experience, and lacking even the education requirements more consideration first?


I feel as though I am at my wits end..........I feel as though I am failing as a husband....I feel so far removed from my own family that even though my parents would love to help me.  I am simply to far removed for them to help......I mean geographically removed that is......


Part of me wants to give my notice and leave to the same city.....get any job until a better one comes my way...flip burgers if I must.........but do,something to be there......


I don't want to continue interviewing for jobs within the same agency as I feel I have target painted on my back to not be hired....


But T the same time if I quit....does it mean that they win?   And more so hat about my clients?   I don't feel I should just abandon them.....just yesterday I talked a kid out of suicide in my office who threatened to slit his own wrist ..pulled out a knife and everything.......


If I leave. Would anyone else give these people any real care?    When I submitted my report most others response was that I should have left my office...sounded an alarm and have the police take him down to be locked up...instead of oh I don't know...use crises intervention and our ability to do therapy!?....

I still reported it mind you and he still went directly into custody to a hospital for pay eval...but if irst made damn sure to talk him down get him to hand me the knife....make sure he didn't have anything else....gave hima Dixy cup,of water and talk him through that I had to call the cops for his safety and that it is for his best interest to talk things out and get back on his meds......


But somehow......I am made to feel as though I am unqualified to be hptransfered to an office in the same city as my now pregnant wife?.......


I just feel so disgusted. This whole it is who you know not what you know...


And the gender inequality.  Because I am male and prior military I am constantly seen as more replaceable then a female co worker.....because I am male.....


Over 80% of the agency I work for is female....same with upper management. Hell the commissioner is a women...you go to any of our state offices for my agency you'd be lucky to find three guys working in a group of 30 women....



Rant over...pissy feelings less pissy.........anger....well that didn't really change.

[HailingTheThings]

Damn, man, that's a pretty shitty situation. I'm sorry that you have to go through so much just to help others. I don't know how long I could go personally, not being able to see my partner on a daily basis.

My heart goes out to you. . .

[BlueBMW]

While I dont have a wife or kids to contend with... I just moved across country and took a significantly lower paying job just so I could live where I wanted to.  Sometimes you just have to say screw the money and do what you need to do.  If it means taking a low end job for a while until you find the right one, so be it.  Its not worth it to live somewhere you dont want to.

[NightWolve]

Wow, medic! ;) Helluva post and I actually read it! Well, sorry to hear about your troubles... Wish I could offer some advise here. :/

[Medic_wheat]

Wow, medic! ;) Helluva post and I actually read it! Well, sorry to hear about your troubles... Wish I could offer some advise here.

And it is almost legible lol......dang posting auto correcting finger pad typing me....


It's oaky.  I just needed to vent where I couldn't get in trouble and not to my wife.  I don't want her to know I am frustrated with my inability to find a job.....


It just may come to me taking a cut in pay....but I am not quit there yet.....I feel there is still time to figure something out....


If there were not other options available to me then I would feel trouble cornered. I still have room make make choices which gives me a lot of comfert...

[Nazi NecroPhile]

Sounds shitty, wheaties, but don't feel too bad.  It sounds like you work at your standard goverat job, where the higherups are more interested in making buddies and who kisses ass better than they are about job performance (also found at most large corporations).

[synbiosfan]

I don't know what to say. I feel so bad for you and your wife.

Congrats for the little one on the way.

Vent away as needed.

[JoshTurboTrollX]

Hey man, I'm sorry about your recent luck- but keep your chin up!!  Stay strong!!

"Part of me wants to give my notice and leave to the same city.....get any job until a better one comes my way...flip burgers if I must.........but do,something to be there......"

I would personally go this route.  You never know what opportunities will pop up.  Get a mind numbing cake job for a couple months, recollect yourself and start interviewing again.

Congrats on the lil' wheat and good luck moving forward!

[Medic_wheat]

Thank you all for the suport and kind words.


Yes the great part is I'll be a father soon......


this will be werid as I am great with OTHER PEOPLE'S kids....but always wondered how I will be with my own......well now is the time to find out.

My wife thinks I am crazy but being a twin myself I am hoping she will have twins as well.


I say lets have twins a boy and a girl...the I go get things sniped sniped and not worry about more kids....

or you know have three kids so I have two back up kids for the endiable black sheep of the family lol

[Nazi NecroPhile]

Don't ya want a baker's dozen of kiddos like Josh? 

[420GOAT]

i have two kids and a loving wife, all i can say is the money isnt always worth it, we eat chicken sometimes cause its on sale, and we love pork since its cheap, and beef is getting more and more costly. when we started out there were dinners of top ramen and eggs on occasion. beans with some ground beef. but we made it happen. weve had lots of help from my father in law, but now she owns her own dog grooming business, and i have a key role in the company where im at. i know you want the best for your family, most do, but money may not always be the best thing. good luck in whatever you do.

[esteban]

Thank you all for the suport and kind words.


Yes the great part is I'll be a father soon......


this will be werid as I am great with OTHER PEOPLE'S kids....but always wondered how I will be with my own......well now is the time to find out.

My wife thinks I am crazy but being a twin myself I am hoping she will have twins as well.


I say lets have twins a boy and a girl...the I go get things sniped sniped and not worry about more kids....

or you know have three kids so I have two back up kids for the endiable black sheep of the family lol

Rethink the twins thing. You will gain new appreciation the patience of your parents.

Kids are tiring. Get sleep now. That is all.

[bob]

I would ONLY have more kids if I was guaranteed twins again.

[JoshTurboTrollX]

Kids are tiring. Get sleep now. That is all.

Seconded.  You shouldn't even be reading this now.  Get sleep!!

Don't ya want a baker's dozen of kiddos like Josh? 

1/2 a baker's dozen!  O_O

[esteban]

I would ONLY have more kids if I was guaranteed twins again.

You are one crazy bastard 

[esadajr]

While I dont have a wife or kids to contend with... I just moved across country and took a significantly lower paying job just so I could live where I wanted to.  Sometimes you just have to say screw the money and do what you need to do.  If it means taking a low end job for a while until you find the right one, so be it.  Its not worth it to live somewhere you dont want to.

I somehow relate to Blue, a couple of years ago I came back to my home country / town, making less $. But now I'm living close to my family and friends (the ones I can count with my fingers). I'm where I want to be.

I think Medic should move with his wife and fight their way in the big city, together. I wish you the best, by reading your post (yup I read the whole thing) I know you're a good person, you genuinely care about people. I wish people like you ran things.

About government employees, (unfortunately) in order to be a model government employee you have to be an awful person and don't a give a damn about people. (And that applies to any country).

[Paddyfitz18]

....my apartment consiste of a can opener a microwave and an inflatable bed

I hope you just forgot to mention the PC Engine and the jug of Jim Beam. 

That's called "making the best of a bad situation."

Anyway, good luck working that out.  It sounds like they are jerking your chain pretty good at your job.  It seems to me that further you have to go up the management chain at a large agency or corporation, the more sociopathic the people become who you have to deal with.

Sorry if I am not characterizing your field of work correctly, but it sounds like it might be called social work, or social services.  I would definitely expect a large city to have much more opportunity in that field.  Get any kind of job up there for the time being, and then start looking around, there should be a lot of possibilities for you down the road.  And you could easily explain at an interview the reasons why you had to leave your current position.  Just my thoughts on it.

And if it makes any sense, whenever I have some big decision to make, I try to go with what I know inside to be the best choice/what is right, instead of worrying about what the outcome of the choice might or might not be.  Because the future is just too unpredictable to be overly concerned with the outcome side of things.  I'm sure you will figure out what is the best and right thing to do.

[Medic_wheat]

I would ONLY have more kids if I was guaranteed twins again.

Do it

[turboswimbz]

That sucks I know what your going through.  It's all about who you know and connections in these situations.  I find the more qualified person rarely gets the job.  Having finished my masters I got lots of interest.  now granted I only had university experience in the field but here is what I found:

 I should note recently just got a job (5 months ago) while my field is laying off....becuase I knew my current boss through a family friend, and I am starting at the very bottom, working for people I know more than about the technical science. (Which is fine I prioritize practical over theoretical) 


On a serious note, can you not get help with any position at all in the larger city given your military service?  I thought there was suppose to be a couple programs for this?




Oh and Maybe some of this will make you feel better
# Jobs I got past over for while having an interview or being contacted: 13

 - I have found out of these 8 of these positions no longer exist or the person was fired in the first year.

- 9 people had less education than me. 

- 1 young lady had the same qualifications as me at the time, but got the job do to being the freeholders' son girlfriend (she dumped him as soon as she was covered under the union contract)

- 2 Companies didn't hire me becuase the hiring manager feared I was going move up and take their jobs / another employees job - (no seriously)

[Medic_wheat]

Update

I did get the transfer I was gunning for and moved Oct 3rd to San Antonio with my wife

I have also applied for a Federal counselor position that just closed last Thursday

The job is exactly the same as what I do for the state. But it is federal. Pays $10 k more a year 4 of my years in the military will transfer towards retirement and best of all I would get to work with veterans.

I know I know. I get the transfer I wanted and a month later applying for another job but really I would be stupid not to try and earn more doing what I already do every day.

[HailingTheThings]

Update

I did get the transfer I was gunning for and moved Oct 3rd to San Antonio with my wife

I have also applied for a Federal counselor position that just closed last Thursday

The job is exactly the same as what I do for the state. But it is federal. Pays $10 k more a year 4 of my years in the military will transfer towards retirement and best of all I would get to work with veterans.

I know I know. I get the transfer I wanted and a month later applying for another job but really I would be stupid not to try and earn more doing what I already do every day.

Things are certainly looking up for you, this pleases me.

*extra catface*

[munchiaz]

Glad things are looking up for you

[tggodfrey]

Wow, you have a shitty hand there for sure.  I feel you on the female hiring deal.  There is a huge diversity push for female employees across the country now.  Our industry is seeing it just as bad, you can have a male applicant that has done the job and he will be beat out by a female with zero experience.  it makes you sick.  At the same time, family members cannot work in the same dept or building in our company either.

Dont quit your job.  your going to need those paychecks when she has to go on leave.  I would say to start looking at a civilian job.  Working for any state sucks ass as you can see.

You might be black listed for working in the same dept as her.  Think about it.....if she has an issue with the dept then not only are they dealing with her pissed but you as well.

Keep your head up.......its just a job, a means for you and your wife to bring a new life into an otherwise dark and cold world.