Shit Kid Gamers Say

Medic_wheat · 10/08/2015, 11:20 AM

I have been wanting to post some of the random stuff kids say regarding retro games and systems.

Since becoming a father and being married my interaction level with anyone younger then 26 has increased.

I thought of calling it "shit kid gamers say" similar to the "shit my dad says".

Not sure yet.

For reference these are interactions with my friends kids (one has a 12 yr old a 6 he old and a 7 month old all boys) and my brother in-law is dating a women with a 9 year old boy.

But here are a few gems I can remember over the past year:

1)
Me: "I want to get a WiiU it looks like fun"

12 yr old: "why?" "Nintendo is going bankrupt and will not making games soon"

Me: "who told you that?"

12 yr old: "people"

Me: "what people"

12 yr old: "people on the Internet"

Me: "lol oh yeah because EVERYTHING on the Internet is true"

12 yr old: "well I saw it on YouTube"

2)
Shows 12 yr old NES system and games.

Me: "want to play a game?"

12 yr old: "mmm okay"

Me: "oh let's try Mega Man 2 I think you'll like it"

12 yr old: "okay"

5 minutes in

12 yr old: "this is typos there is no story", "that's dumb they just put the word "man" after every enemy", "THATS NOT FAIR!"

Me: "What isn't fair?"

12 yr old: "I just died!"

Me: "and?"

12 yr old: "but it's to hard!" "It's not like COD!" "How are you suppose to play this? "I don't get it" puts controller down

Me: "it only has two buttons you can figure it out".

12 yr old: "No! It's stupid and looks bad you can't even tell what anything is and it doesn't show you how to play".

3)

9 yr old: "Chris I want to play your NES"

Me: "okay" puts in SMW3

9 yr old: "I am great at video games because I am a video game master!"

8 minutes later

9 yr old: "it's impossible" "I can't do it". Keeps getting killed by turtles "it's not fair I am never going to be able to beat this level".

There are more. But that's all for now.

No kids names where given to protect me from their mothers lol.

VenomMacbeth · 10/08/2015, 12:44 PM

Lol. Kids. Sounds like what most people around my age say about such games. I hope I can impart the classics enough on my nuglet to make him more competent than I was as a gamer growing up.

CrackTiger · 10/08/2015, 01:53 PM

I wouldn't drop someone new to 8-bit games straight into something as polarized as Megaman. Even bitd people couldn't get far without lots of trial and error, because they are full of cheap difficulty. They just happen to be enjoyable for people who are prepared and appreciate the overall balance.

BlueBMW · 10/08/2015, 01:55 PM

I honestly feel a little bad for kids these days. They have been conditioned such that I dont think they will ever be able to enjoy the games that some of us older folks enjoyed. Because of what they've been brought up with they will never get to enjoy the games we enjoyed the way we enjoyed them. In that sense I feel lucky.

PukeSter · 10/08/2015, 02:53 PM

As a kid, I grew up playing Mario world and kirby's adventure on my gameboy advance.

You would think Nintendo and other companies would make more of a push these days for retro ports or remakes.

ClodBusted · 10/08/2015, 03:23 PM

Kids of today don't play games. They watch Let's Plays.

Just kidding, thanks for sharing these enjoyable conversations.

BigusSchmuck · 10/08/2015, 03:33 PM

I remember when Megaman 2 came out it was so easy a 5 year old can play it. Seriously, I recall a Nintendo hotline guy suggesting that to my dad to get for my kid brother back in the day. Now kids are saying its too hard? lol.

xcrement5x · 10/08/2015, 03:51 PM

This thread makes me a bit sad, but then I remember reading this article and I feel like there is some hope if you introduce your kids to the classics early:
https://medium.com/message/playing-with-my-son-e5226ff0a7c3

CrackTiger · 10/08/2015, 04:48 PM

Quote from: BigusSchmuck on 10/08/2015, 03:33 PMI remember when Megaman 2 came out it was so easy a 5 year old can play it. Seriously, I recall a Nintendo hotline guy suggesting that to my dad to get for my kid brother back in the day. Now kids are saying its too hard? lol.

Bitd I didn't know anyone else who could play through Heatman or Quickman's stage with only a pee-shooter. It was also normal for kids to never finish most many games, even if they owned them. Nintendo-only kids also relied heavily on guides and cheats, which is why Nintendo Power was so popular.

Look at how many people in 16-bit forums have trouble playing so many 16-bit games like R-Type.

Today's hardcore 8/16-bit players don't represent most game players bitd. Give young people today the time and a reason to play some old games and graduate them through titles which teach them the skills they need and the tropes to expect and you'll find them excelling as much as anyone.

I had an 8 and 10 year old at my house a couple weeks ago doing laps through Final Fight the arcade and they loved every minute of it.

Galder · 10/08/2015, 05:23 PM

Well, kids are right. Megaman IS HELL ON EARTH.

CGQuarterly · 10/08/2015, 05:45 PM

Kids today are not used to being challenged, so when faced with something "hard", their reaction is to give up. It isn't their fault, at all. Society today shelters kids beyond belief.

ccovell · 10/08/2015, 08:10 PM

This started when my son (3 years) found my Mega Man art book and liked the robots inside. He asked me, "I want to watch this movie." I told him, "Sorry, all I have are the Mega Man games." "Let's play them!" he replied.

So, I showed him Rockman 2, and he really liked some of the levels. Now we play Rockman/Mega Man a couple of times a week: him choosing the robot, and me playing through the level. Fun stuff. He knows all of the MM2 bosses' names by heart, and most of the MM1 and 3 bosses too.

Even when he's playing with Lego or toys in the living room, he makes up new robot names, like "Globe Man" and "Apple Man", then he sings the boss intro theme from MM2. It warms my heart that the first game he has really started going crazy about (I gave him sheets with MM bosses on paper so he could colour them with crayons!) is also my favourite.

Here we are on our way to finishing Rockman 2:

(He's holding the Neo-Geo controller because we sometimes play League Bowling on the Neo together as well.)

NightWolve · 10/08/2015, 08:13 PM

Quote from: ccovell on 10/08/2015, 08:10 PMEven when he's playing with Lego or toys in the living room, he makes up new robot names, like "Globe Man" and "Apple Man", then he sings the boss intro theme from MM2. It warms my heart that the first game he has really started going crazy about (I gave him sheets with MM bosses on paper so he could colour them with crayons!) is also my favourite.

Hah, that's awesome!

Psycho Punch · 10/08/2015, 08:32 PM

Start here:

https://www.pcengine-fx.com/forums/index.php?action=profile;area=showposts;u=4853

--dumb jokes aside, Chris that's awesome. Kid's having a solid education from his parents.

Nazi NecroPhile · 10/08/2015, 08:40 PM

Very nice, Chris. Train him well.

My nephews are pretty good at at least trying old 'real' games. They like playing 'em and don't really whine about 'unfairness', but they do say that some of 'em are just too damn hard. I can't say I disagree either, as the one's they complain about are usually cheap hard or suffer from clunky controls, the type of 'hard' that can't be remedied with practice or skill.

o.pwuaioc · 10/08/2015, 08:57 PM

Jabba's right on this one. You need to teach kids early. Also, you wankers calling Mega Man hard are a punch of pansies.

Nazi NecroPhile · 10/08/2015, 08:59 PM

Punch? Is that like a cross between a bunch and a peck?

CGQuarterly · 10/08/2015, 10:18 PM

Quote from: guest on 10/08/2015, 08:57 PMJabba's right on this one.

Well, you throw enough shit at the wall and something is bound to stick.

TR0N · 10/09/2015, 03:11 AM

Quote from: CGQuarterly on 10/08/2015, 05:45 PMKids today are not used to being challenged, so when faced with something "hard", their reaction is to give up. It isn't their fault, at all. Society today shelters kids beyond belief.

This kids today are not condition for challenging video games.Modern video games make it much easier,compered to the 8-bit and 16-bit era consoles.

Arkhan Asylum · 10/09/2015, 04:53 AM

Quote from: guest on 10/08/2015, 03:23 PMKids of today don't play games. They watch Let's Plays.

Just kidding, thanks for sharing these enjoyable conversations.

I know someone who watches LPs, and equates that to him having played the game also.

He's not a kid though. He's like 25.

He's a fucking douche.

technozombie · 10/09/2015, 06:27 AM

I'm happy to say my 11 yr old daughter is pretty good at MegaMan 2 she can beat most of the bosses but hasn't made it to Dr. Wiley's stage yet. Things are quite a bit different for my kids than it was for me. I had so few games that I pretty much had to play them over and over. I mostly rented games so my completion rate wasn't very high. Now my kids have way too much to choose from. Neither of them ( my son's 12) play crap like CoD though. For him it's Minecraft or WoW.

o.pwuaioc · 10/09/2015, 09:52 AM

Quote from: Psycho Arkhan on 10/09/2015, 04:53 AM
Quote from: guest on 10/08/2015, 03:23 PMKids of today don't play games. They watch Let's Plays.

Just kidding, thanks for sharing these enjoyable conversations.
I know someone who watches LPs, and equates that to him having played the game also.

He's not a kid though. He's like 25.

He's a fucking douche.

I mean, I get that watching a long play will allow you to make a judgment on whether or not certain features of a game fit your tastes. But who the fuck would say that they actually played it from that?

Also, why are people watching long plays for reasons other than to figure out whether to buy it or for getting past a certain point?

PukeSter · 10/09/2015, 05:37 PM

I have some friends who want to play certain games that are out, so they watch an entire longplay by a typical Twitch streamer.

One conversation went like this.

Me: Hey bud, have you played Valiant Hearts?

friend: No, but that's a really cool game!

Me: Oh I see. Well it's on Games with Gold.

friend: Yeah I know, but I watched a streamer on Twitch play it.

Me: So just part of it?

friend: Nope, a full 10 hours

Very strange. Another friend watched a full 30 hour playthrough of Dark Souls.

Dicer · 10/09/2015, 06:24 PM

I weep for the future of gaming, lucky for my lil shit I taught him early and his first games were old classics, yeah they were hard but he had fun trying, too many games now are just gimme a win or re-spawn me or give me more lives, fuck that noise. His friends into retro stuff as well (cause of his dad) so at least his little circle of friends are good and not oblivious to how shitty things are now.

It sucks cause kids don't even wanna bother, hearing "it's dumb" or "it's too hard, I don't get it, this sucks" ugh makes me want to punch kids, and that's never a good look, lol...

Gentlegamer · 10/10/2015, 12:03 AM

Quote from: guest on 10/09/2015, 05:37 PMI have some friends who want to play certain games that are out, so they watch an entire longplay by a typical Twitch streamer.

One conversation went like this.

Me: Hey bud, have you played Valiant Hearts?

friend: No, but that's a really cool game!

Me: Oh I see. Well it's on Games with Gold.

friend: Yeah I know, but I watched a streamer on Twitch play it.

Me: So just part of it?

friend: Nope, a full 10 hours

Very strange. Another friend watched a full 30 hour playthrough of Dark Souls.

Those type of long plays are only interesting to me when I've already played the game in question. For instance, there was a LP of Dark Souls by a woman who was a total novice, but she was completely methodical in figuring things out and it was very interesting to see her advance. Similarly, a youtuber called EpicNameBro is very into the Dark Souls lore, and is doing a LP series where he shows all the dialog you might miss and pieces together the cryptic story and possible interpretations. That's pretty cool.

In general watching a stream or LP is sorta like when we were kids and took turns playing a game, or your younger sibling would want to watch you. It's a type of social activity.

TurboXray · 10/10/2015, 12:32 AM

My son was playing Ninja Gaiden on my NES (on an HDTV which has at least a 5 frame delay) and he got to area 6. That game's pretty tough. It took him all day to get there. He's been practicing his 8bit kung fu lately. He actually thinks NG1 is easier than NG2... no way! NG2 is way easier. As for Megaman 2.. easiest game I ever beat back in the day. I beat the day it came out. I was pissed that it was too easy. It took me years to get pasted the yellow blob guy in MM1 (I didn't know the pause trick).

I have a young niece that plays a lot of SMB3 (on the snes though). Pretty much the only thing she plays on it. Pretty sure she's beaten SMB3.

Gentlegamer · 10/10/2015, 01:16 AM

Mega Man 2 is easy if you play it on pleb mode and spam Metal Blade.

Select normal difficulty and things are different.

esteban · 10/10/2015, 10:52 AM

There was a different thread about our kids playing games, but my now-6th grader enjoys playing 8-bit and 16-bit games, including Gameboy...and whatever classic arcade games we can find:

Recently (last 6-12 months, ha!)...
Pokemon
Dr. Mario
Parasol Stars
Galaga/Galaxian
Joust
Gyruss
Balloon Kid
Kaboom!
Bonk 1-3
Monster Lair (co-op, I help her survive)
Mario (all)
Mariokart
Ninja Spirit
Star Parodia

Etc.

esteban · 10/10/2015, 10:57 AM

Megaman 2 was so easy, back in the day. Contra without the cheat? That was hard. 1943 was a slog.

SMB2 (USA), Legendary Wings= easy
Gradius/Lifeforce = challenge

Medic_wheat · 10/10/2015, 01:00 PM

Quote from: esteban on 10/10/2015, 10:52 AMThere was a different thread about our kids playing games, but my now-6th grader enjoys playing 8-bit and 16-bit games, including Gameboy...and whatever classic arcade games we can find:

Recently (last 6-12 months, ha!)...
Pokemon
Dr. Mario
Parasol Stars
Galaga/Galaxian
Joust
Gyruss
Balloon Kid
Kaboom!
Bonk 1-3
Monster Lair (co-op, I help her survive)
Mario (all)
Mariokart
Ninja Spirit
Star Parodia

Etc.

Gyruss is so great

Gentlegamer · 10/11/2015, 07:48 AM

Quote from: esteban on 10/10/2015, 10:52 AMThere was a different thread about our kids playing games, but my now-6th grader enjoys playing 8-bit and 16-bit games, including Gameboy...and whatever classic arcade games we can find:

Recently (last 6-12 months, ha!)...
Pokemon
Dr. Mario
Parasol Stars
Galaga/Galaxian
Joust
Gyruss
Balloon Kid
Kaboom!
Bonk 1-3
Monster Lair (co-op, I help her survive)
Mario (all)
Mariokart
Ninja Spirit
Star Parodia

Etc.

Get an Atari VCS and play Tank Pong with him. He'll love it.

esteban · 10/11/2015, 08:56 AM

Quote from: Gentlegamer on 10/11/2015, 07:48 AM
Quote from: esteban on 10/10/2015, 10:52 AMThere was a different thread about our kids playing games, but my now-6th grader enjoys playing 8-bit and 16-bit games, including Gameboy...and whatever classic arcade games we can find:

Recently (last 6-12 months, ha!)...
Pokemon
Dr. Mario
Parasol Stars
Galaga/Galaxian
Joust
Gyruss
Balloon Kid
Kaboom!
Bonk 1-3
Monster Lair (co-op, I help her survive)
Mario (all)
Mariokart
Ninja Spirit
Star Parodia

Etc.
Get an Atari VCS and play Tank Pong with him. He'll love it.

I have Atari 2600

Kaboom! and Joust are on list (although we play NES version of Joust, too).

We have played COMBAT, but not in the last year.