Spicy food tastes like complete and utter shit.

Zeon · 04/01/2009, 04:58 AM

Seriously how does any one eat that crap? Spicy shit is nasty, it often tastes like extremely bitter rotting old people flesh, with a big heaping pile of diarrhea and heartburn added in for that extra special ass taste. Don't ask me how I know what that tastes like, I just do. At least that's what I imagine bitter rotting old people flesh, with a big heaping pile of diarrhea and heartburn added in tasting like: spicy food.

No it's not that I can't tolerate the heat, quite the opposite is true. Spicy as shit stuff (as far as heat goes) doesn't phase me. It's just that when stuff is spicy all you taste is heat and no flavor, it overpowers everything else. Only in very small amounts and accompanied by a nice sweet flavor is spiciness acceptable. No spice is preferable.

Jalapeños taste like heartburn and no they don't give me heartburn, I have had heartburn all of like 5 times in my entire life if even that. I never understood the appeal behind that.

Oh and god help that chef at that Cajun place that hid these small crunchy red as fuck peppers in my bourbon chicken which no other place I have gotten bourbon chicken from has done. Biting into one of those bastard peppers was like biting into a hot extremely bitter chewable antibiotic which induced a bad drug trip. That shit fucked my day up. As soon as I bit into that pepper I couldn't eat anymore as it made everything taste like shit and even made me dizzy, inducing a short but small headache. If I ever find that poor bastard he's not gonna be enjoying life anymore when I am through with him.

Don't get me started on those fucking Mexican candies with chile in them. Who, WHO the FUCK thought that was even anywhere near close to being a good idea?

The taste spectrum goes like this Sweet >= Sour > Salty > ^1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 spicy >= bitter

Seriously fuck spicy. I hope someone who knows what is good can show anyone how thinks they like spicy shit how fucked up they are and get them some help.

Keranu · 04/01/2009, 04:59 AM

No. You. Did.'.nt.

Zeon · 04/01/2009, 05:00 AM

Quote from: Keranu on 04/01/2009, 04:59 AMNo. You. Did.'.nt.

Oh yes I di.'.id. Bring it!

Tatsujin · 04/01/2009, 05:01 AM

BBQ is teh shit!!!! Kill all BBQ fleiva!!!

Zeon · 04/01/2009, 05:04 AM

Quote from: Tatsujin on 04/01/2009, 05:01 AMBBQ is teh shit!!!! Kill all BBQ fleiva!!!

You are right nuts, BBQ IS the shit. It's so much more awesome than spicy food which truly is pure shit.

Keranu · 04/01/2009, 05:07 AM

Anything without spice tastes like DOO DOO, Zeon!

Tatsujin · 04/01/2009, 05:18 AM

PCE = Spicy

no spicy lover = no PCE lover!!

Zeon · 04/01/2009, 05:25 AM

Quote from: Tatsujin on 04/01/2009, 05:18 AMPCE = Spicy

no spicy lover = no PCE lover!!

I believe your logic is flawed, back to logic school with you heathen!

Keranu · 04/01/2009, 05:31 AM

Zeon I think your face is so red because you EAT LOTS OF SPICY FOOD!

Arkhan Asylum · 04/01/2009, 05:39 AM

well, spicy hot is technically poison considering it comes from peppers and stuff that have it as a deterrent. So no wonder it don't always taste nice.

Its their natural "dont f-ing eat me, animal" defense mechanism.

We're just less of a bunch of pussies than rabbits and deer.

On that note, alot of ultra spicy stuff actually tastes awful. I had chicken wings once where the sauce tasted exactly like rubber-bands only it made my mouth hurt and my nose run in the process.

Mexicans seem to get spicy right, and some Asiaplaces (others make it taste funny), but America sucks at it.

just like being thin. We suck at that. GOOO 'MERICA.

termis · 04/01/2009, 06:33 AM

Spicy is only too spicy if you're a little bitch.

Zeon · 04/01/2009, 06:38 AM

Quote from: termis on 04/01/2009, 06:33 AMSpicy is only too spicy if you're a little bitch.

Again it's not the heat or "spiciness" that's the problem. It's the inherit distinct taste of ass and bitterness associated with it. I can handle spicy just fine, but why would anyone want to eat something that tastes like dog shit? Well you crazies, enjoy your dogshit that you seem to love so much.

Nazi NecroPhile · 04/01/2009, 02:05 PM

Me likey the spicy foods, but it can definitely be taken too far. If it's flavorless and nothing but heat or overpowers everything else in the dish, then it's worthless.

Quote from: termis on 04/01/2009, 06:33 AMSpicy is only too spicy if you're a little bitch.

Hells yeah! Chug that bottle of capsaicin oil!

Sinistron · 04/01/2009, 03:30 PM

Spicy food is teh shit. Whiny Zeon likes his food boring and plain- because he's just a toddler. He's not mature enough for curry and spice. More for me.

Suck my balls Zeon!

TheMilford · 04/01/2009, 04:16 PM

Zeon. Maybe it's because your mouth is a vagina and that is why you don't like the taste of spicy food... either that or you are a big girl... or a little girl... or you have a mangina.

Now grow some balls and has youself a big ol heaping bowl of this here spicy-as-fuck chili I juss made!

rag-time4 · 04/01/2009, 04:18 PM

Quote from: Keranu on 04/01/2009, 05:31 AMZeon I think your face is so red because you EAT LOTS OF SPICY FOOD!

Spicy food puts hair on your pc engine!!

Zeon · 04/02/2009, 08:53 AM

Quote from: TheMilford on 04/01/2009, 04:16 PMZeon. Maybe it's because your mouth is a vagina and that is why you don't like the taste of spicy food... either that or you are a big girl... or a little girl... or you have a mangina.

Now grow some balls and has youself a big ol heaping bowl of this here spicy-as-fuck chili I juss made!

Nah the true pussies are the ones that can't handle sweetness in foods, often the ones who bitch about something being "too sweet". This also applies to those who cannot handle extreme sour. I don't it is anymore manly to enjoy shit tasting hot food, than it is to be able to handle extremes of other tastes. Fuck you want manly, try EXTREME bitter like chewable antibiotics. Now eating a bunch of those will put hair on your chest. You can claim you are manly for eating the worlds hottest whatever, but that pales in comparison to eating extremely bitter shit is large quantities.

It's also funny you associate eating spicy foods as "manly". I know plenty of women enjoy spicy shit just as much if not more than "manly" men. Not only a minority either. So claiming eating spicy food is a sign of manliness is downright ignorant. Seriously if you want to try to put up such an argument against my stance, I'm just gonna sit and laugh because you guys have no real reason to justify eating stuff that quite literally tastes like concentrated shit.

Anyways I will reiterate once more, the heat doesn't bother me. I will drink some habanero juice in front of anyone of you stubborn folks who won't listen and instead fall upon the old "You aren't man enough" argument. It's not that I can't physically handle it, it's just that it tastes gross as fuck. Think of your least favorite food ever. Why don't you eat it? Likely not because you physically can't or that it is physically hard to eat it, but because it tastes horrendous.

So do you guys really have no good response? Or, rather, are you guys not "manly" enough to come up with a better reason for your insanity?

albinoMithos · 04/02/2009, 09:00 AM

Quote from: Zeon on 04/02/2009, 08:53 AM
Quote from: TheMilford on 04/01/2009, 04:16 PMZeon. Maybe it's because your mouth is a vagina and that is why you don't like the taste of spicy food... either that or you are a big girl... or a little girl... or you have a mangina.

Now grow some balls and has youself a big ol heaping bowl of this here spicy-as-fuck chili I juss made!
Nah the true pussies are the ones that can't handle sweetness in foods, often the ones who bitch about something being "too sweet". This also applies to those who cannot handle extreme sour. I don't it is anymore manly to enjoy shit tasting hot food, than it is to be able to handle extremes of other tastes. Fuck you want manly, try EXTREME bitter like chewable antibiotics. Now eating a bunch of those will put hair on your chest. You can claim you are manly for eating the worlds hottest whatever, but that pales in comparison to eating extremely bitter shit is large quantities.

It's also funny you associate eating spicy foods as "manly". I know plenty of women enjoy spicy shit just as much if not more than "manly" men. Not only a minority either. So claiming eating spicy food is a sign of manliness is downright ignorant. Seriously if you want to try to put up such an argument against my stance, I'm just gonna sit and laugh because you guys have no real reason to justify eating stuff that quite literally tastes like concentrated shit.

Anyways I will reiterate once more, the heat doesn't bother me. I will drink some habanero juice in front of anyone of you stubborn folks who won't listen and instead fall upon the old "You aren't man enough" argument. It's not that I can't physically handle it, it's just that it tastes gross as fuck. Think of your least favorite food ever. Why don't you eat it? Likely not because you physically can't or that it is physically hard to eat it, but because it tastes horrendous.

So do you guys really have no good response? Or, rather, are you guys not "manly" enough to come up with a better reason for your insanity?

You know.........I can still kick your ass. I'd say it's manly to do so, but I don't think it's very manly to beat up a 5yr old.

Sinistron · 04/02/2009, 09:31 AM

Your tastes just aren't developed. It isn't manly to only like sweet foods- that's shit that babies like- sweet candy and sweet juices and sweet mush and mommy's sweet nipples. You're just a liddle iddy biddy baby Zeon. Baby Zeon likes his sweets- his candy flavored nuk. Lick my sugary balls

Nazi NecroPhile · 04/02/2009, 11:09 AM

Quote from: Sinistron on 04/02/2009, 09:31 AMYour tastes just aren't developed. It isn't manly to only like sweet foods- that's shit that babies like- sweet candy and sweet juices and sweet mush and mommy's sweet nipples. You're just a liddle iddy biddy baby Zeon. Baby Zeon likes his sweets- his candy flavored nuk. Lick my sugary balls

If I also like Zeon's mommy's sweet nipples, does that make me a baby, a pervert, or a perverted baby?

albinoMithos · 04/02/2009, 12:29 PM

Quote from: guest on 04/02/2009, 11:09 AM
Quote from: Sinistron on 04/02/2009, 09:31 AMYour tastes just aren't developed. It isn't manly to only like sweet foods- that's shit that babies like- sweet candy and sweet juices and sweet mush and mommy's sweet nipples. You're just a liddle iddy biddy baby Zeon. Baby Zeon likes his sweets- his candy flavored nuk. Lick my sugary balls
If I also like Zeon's mommy's sweet nipples, does that make me a baby, a pervert, or a perverted baby?

I've said it once and I'll say it many more times. Zeon's mom has a nice rack.

Sinistron · 04/02/2009, 01:30 PM

Quote from: guest on 04/02/2009, 11:09 AMIf I also like Zeon's mommy's sweet nipples, does that make me a baby, a pervert, or a perverted baby?

As long as you're not Zeon- it makes you a man.

termis · 04/02/2009, 08:19 PM

I take spicy nipples over sweet, sugary nipples plz.

quoth09 · 04/02/2009, 09:06 PM

Eh, I like both spicy and sweet, so what the hell is wrong with me then? I must be Thai!

Seriously, I know what Zeon is talking about, but at the same time, depends on what is being fixed. Exactly the reason I don't like hot wings, aside from the fact they don't taste very good on their own anyway. Half the time the places over spice the damn things, and it turns into a giant flavorless hot piece of shit. Besides, hot wings are horrible for you anyway.

As for curry, it's awesome, not spicy at all when done correctly.

TurboXray · 04/03/2009, 11:23 AM

I'm not sure what you're arguing. Are you arguing that you don't like spicy foods or that any who likes spicy foods is <insert whatever insult here>. If you don't like spicy foods, hey - no problem. We don't think any less of you for being such a wuss

I personally don't care for sweet stuff. I never liked kool-aid and such as a kid, candy bars, and other such sweets. I liked ice cream, whip cream, pies. But I'd take spicy/acid-y foods over those any day of the week. Hell, I'd take chicken and mashed potatoes over any type of sweets. It doesn't even have to be spicy.

Also, most people who like spicy and hot foods, actually like sour tastes as well. Plenty of sour hot sauces out there.

Duo_R · 04/04/2009, 01:04 AM

Zeon, what does shit taste like? I haven't tried it before for comparison.

QuoteSpicy food tastes like complete and utter shit.