Randomness

[albinoMithos]

"Half-Life: Full-life Consequences

John Freeman who was Gordon Freemans brother was one day in an office typing on a computer. He got an email from his brother that said that aliens and monsters were attacking his place and aksed him for help so he went.

John Freeman got his computer shut down and wet on the platform to go up to the roof of the building where he left his motorcycle and normal people close because he was in his office lab coat. John Freeman got on his motorcycl and said "its time for me to live up to my family name and face full life consequences" so he had to go.

John Freeman ramped off the building and did a backflip and landed. He kept driving down the road and made sure there was no zombies around because he ddint have weapon.

The contrysides were nice and the plants were singing and the birds and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky. the mood was set for John Freemans quest to help his brother where he was. John Freeman looked around the countrysides and said "its a good day to do what has to be done by me and help my brother to defeat the enemys".

John Freeman was late so he had to drive really fast. A cop car was hiden near by so when John Freeman went by the cops came and wanted to give him a ticket. Here John Freeman saw the first monster because the cop was posessed and had headcrabs.

"I cant give you my lisense officer" John Freeman said

"Why not?" said the headcrab oficer back to John Freeman.

"Because you are headcrab zombie" so John Freeman shot the oficer in the head and drove off thinking "my brother is in trouble there" and went faster.

John Freeman had to go faster like the speed of sound and got there fast because Gordon needed him where he was. John Freeman looked at road signs and saw "Ravenholm" with someons writing under it saying "u shudnt come here" so John Freeman almost turned around but heard screaming like Gordon so he went faster again.

John Freeman drove in and did another flip n jumped off his motorbike and the motor bike took out some headcrab zombies infront of John Freeman. John Freeman smiled and walked fast. John Freeman then looked on the ground and found wepon so he pickd it up and fired fast at zombie goasts in front of a house.

John Freeman said "Zombie goasts leave this place" and the zombie goasts said "but this is our house" and John Freeman felt sorry for them becaus they couldnt live there anymore because they were zombie goasts so he blew up the house and killed the zombie goasts so they were at piece.

Then John Freeman herd another scream from his brother so he kept walking really faster to get where he was. Ravenholdm was nothing like the countrysides there was no birds singing and the pants were dead and teh dirt was messy and bloody from headcrabs.

When John Freeman got to where the screaming was started from he found his brother Gorden Freeman fightin the final bosss and Gordon said "John Freeman! Over here!" so John Freeman went there to where Gordon Freeman was fighting. John Freeman fired his bullet from teh gun really fast and the bullets went and shot the final boss in the eyes and the final boss couldnt see.

Gordon Freeman said "its time to end this ones and for all!" and punched the final boss in the face and the final boss fell. John Freeman said "thanks i could help, bro" and Gordon Freeman said "you should come here earlier next time" and they laughed.

The laughed overed quickly though because John Freeman yelled "LOOK OUT BRO!" and pointed up to the top of the sky. Gordon Freeman looked up and said "NOO! John Freeman run out of here fast as you can!" and John Freeman walked real fast out.

John Freeman loked back and saw Gordon get steppd on by the next boss and he was mad and angry.

"I'll get you back evil boss!" John Freeman yelled at the top of lungs.

to be continued..?


Half-Life: Full-life Consequences 2: What Has Tobe Done

John Freeman walked like speed of light back to his motorcycl and left behind the bad place behind him. John Freeman had to ride his motorcycle really fast back to the office but John Freemans gas ran out. John Freeman jumped fast off the motorcycle and landed on dead peoples hands.

"Gordon Freeman is now these hands... i must kill the next boss and live up to full-life consequences!" John Freeman said out loud.

John Freeman picked up a laser gun and aimed it at trees to see if he could. John Freeman shot and tree fell down in front of him. John Freeman seen eggs fall out of the tree and he put them back home safe.

"These birds dont have to see Gordon Freeman yet. its not time." John Freeman said to him.

John Freeman had to walked faster and was back at his office work and on a computer. He looked on the internet and found the next boss.

"I know his weakness now" John Freeman said. And after that he got emails from someone. John Freeman opened up the emails and read them.

"Dear John Freeman, how are you? I miss you at home come home safe and soon with Gordon Freeman for thanksgiving dinner. Love mom." John Freeman looked at it and got sad and yelled "I WILL KILL THE BOSS AND GORDON FREEMAN WILL BE HAPPY SOUL!" then he turned on off the computer and wet on the platform again down to his other more faster motorcycle that had gas in it this time.

John Freeman put the laser gun on his motorcycle and his machine gun and his rocket gun that he found on the side of the motorcycle. He went through traffic and went fast like litning to back to Ravenholm and back to the bad place where Gordon Freeman was. John Freeman went off road and did backflips and landed on back wheels but kept going too.

John Freeman went really fast again like before and was soon back again at Ravenholm but saw more zombie goasts. John Freeman said to them "Zombie goasts i have killed your friends at the old house and i dont want to shoot your heads. move near the countrysides and you will be friends of John Freeman." The zombie goasts said that "no we will kill you" and walked fast to John Freemans motorcycle. John Freeman waited until they were in front of his motorcycle and backflipped off his bars and shot heads below and landed and walked fast to where the next boss was.

"you will be one of us!" yelled the dead zombie goasts. John Freeman laughed and shot a rocket at them.

John Freeman saw the next boss far down the road and walked slow this time. He walked really slow like a turtle and sat down on a rock and watched the next boss near the dead last boss and where the place that Gordon Freeman was. The next boss was laughing at John Freeman so John Freeman said "YOU WILL NOT LAUGH AT ME!" and shot a rocket at him since that was his weakness.

The next boss died and John Freeman was happy. He walked over to the dead bosses and put them under the ground and planted pants on them so instead of messy dirt and dark there was pretty things there now to be happy.

John Freeman walked to where Gordon Freeman was lying dead and crushed from the next bosss feet and looked down. A tear droped out of John Freemans eye and landed on Gordon Freeman.

"You are dead bro and i killed the evil boss." John Freeman told Gordon Freeman

Then John Freeman saw something bad. A headcrab was on Gordon Freeman! Gordon Freeman standed up and said "John Freeman... you got here slow and now i am zombie goast. you will pay..."

to be continued...? "

[Tatsujin]

[Arjak]

Lol, I love Full Life Consequences! Here is the epic movie adaption:

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/365815

And don't miss the theatrical trailer:

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/365836

[guyjin]

http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2009/04/01/youre-only-allowed-one-imaginary-friend-at-a-time

The Episcopal Church has defrocked Ann Holmes Redding, the Seattle Episcopal priest who announced in 2007 that she is both Christian and Muslim. Bishop Geralyn Wolf of Rhode Island, who has disciplinary authority over Redding, informed the priest of her decision in a letter today, said Ruth Meteer, communications director with the Diocese of Rhode Island.

I am very sad, Redding said. "I'm sad at the loss of this cherished honor of having served as a priest. And I'm also sad at what seems to me to be the limits of vision" about how widely accepting the church can be.

I realize this is an april fools joke, but: since Islam would suggest that she must behead herself, and Christianity prohibits this, and given that she's still hypothetically alive, it would seem she has chosen one over the other.

[albinoMithos]

Lol, I love Full Life Consequences! Here is the epic movie adaption:

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/365815

And don't miss the theatrical trailer:

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/365836

I prefer these two:

-pt.1

-pt.2

[Arjak]

LMAO! That was great! I agree, these ones are better.

[guyjin]

[Ceti Alpha]

That is awesome!! 

[quoth09]

http://www.fundistraction.com/2007/08/poop-like-pastries.html

clicky clicky linky link for more images.

[guyjin]

[Tatsujin]

Dan x 58172: thanks
Dan x 58172: biatch
Michael [Zurich, Helpdesk]: dont talk to me like that
Michael [Zurich, Helpdesk]: im not your mommie
Dan x 58172: ues u are
Dan x 58172: and its breast feeding time
Michael [Zurich, Helpdesk]: lulz

[Sinistron]

[guyjin]

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