Those old Turbolist reviews...

[PCEngineHell]

...because everyone needs a good laugh, and right now I cant think of anything better to laugh at.
http://baetzler.de/vidgames/Hu-reviews.var
http://baetzler.de/vidgames/CD-reviews.var

Reading these reviews requires a joystick, keep that in mind. We talked about this before, but half the members from back then are gone as its been about 2 years, so I am interested in seeing what the current members here think about these pathetic reviews/reviewers.

[zektor]

Thanks for the links! I love reading old reviews of these games

[awack]

I haven't read those reviews in years, i remember finding them very strange, opinions very different from my own, they made me feel more crazy than i actually am until i started reading other peoples opinions over the years.

[Joe Redifer]

It sounds like these reviews fault the games themselves for not including a joystick in the box.  What a bunch of tampons!

[Keranu]

Yeah I used to read these years ago, lots of WTF moments. But they gave J.J. & Jeff a decent-ish review, so I give them a little credit. ;)

[rag-time4]

Mike, thanks for the post!! I never knew about these. One funny moment for me was seeing the Image Fight 2 review... they mentioned how Image Fight 1 had been a top-selling HuCard, but unfortunately there is no review for Image Fight in the HuCard section! Guess it sold so well that nobody had it!

 

Gonna take me a while to get through all these! This sheds some light on why nobody was talking much about Image Fight when I discovered this message board 

There are some other games not yet reviewed... a few that Sinistron has recommended to me, Photograph Boy and Override, as well as River City Ransom.

Good stuff though 

Is it just me or is BT Garner really harsh?

[CrackTiger]

Most of the reviews appear too positive or too negative. It is a number of different people, but many average games were rated perfect or awful, many good and bad games were score closer to average and some bad games recieved near perfect scores.

Addam's Family-

GRAPHICS : A- (Game is cartoon-like.  Characters are a little too blocky and
               two-dimensional)
SOUND    : A  (Excellent... this game uses the CD technology wisely)
MUSIC    : A  (Addams' theme at the start of the game... nice!)
GAMEPLAY : B  (Even with a joystick, you'll need to get the hang of
               jumping over obstacles)
LONGEVITY: B- (Frustrating... no save feature!)

I guess that the characters being "a little too blocky and two-dimensional" is what got the graphics knocked down from an A to A-

[Lord Thag]

Ballistix is as good as Blazing Lasers? 

[Arjak]

Ballistix is as good as Blazing Lasers? 

Thag, thank you for summing up these reviews in one sentence. Now I don't have to go through all the trouble of reading these piles.

[_Paul]

Ballistix is as good as Blazing Lasers? 

Hahaha.

And apparently, the graphics in Ballistix are better than Forgotten Worlds.