What the hell was Nintendo thinking?

Zeon · 03/26/2009, 03:03 AM

When they came up with the pile of epic fail that is the Nintendo 64? Seriously WTF man? The controller looks like the bastard child of a batrang and a cheap ass plastic piece of crap from the 80s. WHO thought that thing was a good idea?

There is NO comfortable way to hold that thing and you better forget about trying to use it! It's like the person who designed it was
A: a 10 year old.
B: Someone with a very low IQ and possible mental problems
C: A hobo
D: Someone who didn't want anyone playing the system
E: All of the above

I vote all of the above considering how it was marketed towards kids as the main audience. What better way to do that than get a kid to design it himself! Brilliant, made for kids, by kids! I'm sure Nintendo grabbed a random homeless kid off of the streets of Japan. Unfortunately what they didn't know was that this kid was exceptionally stupid (much more so than other 10 year olds), partially crazy, and had a deep hatred of Nintendo because they kidnapped him from the streets and brought him to some place he did not know and weren't feeding him. By the time Nintendo realized this it was too late, but they needed a controller design. So they took one of the random scribblings of the kid and used that for their designs. As for the kid, he was probably never heard from again...

Honestly it would not surprise me if that was the case, I mean third party peripheral manufacturers were outdoing Nintendo in design, even shitty ones like Interact! I would take an Intellivision over the Nintendo 64 any day, more games I actually enjoy, and a far superior controller, and yes I am serious!

Not that it really mattered anyways, almost all the games sucked ass. Don't get me started on Mario 64, the camera was shitty and screwed you over most of the time, and it was freaking glitch city. I know it was the first 3d mario game but god damn randomly falling through the graphics while trying to play the game is not my idea of fun. (yeah this isn't the most common glitch but it gives you an idea).

Not only was the controller an epic piece of shit, but to add insult to injury most games had sloppily programmed controls. While growing up i never really wanted an n64, i finally bought one to check out Paper Mario, beat it, and the system has been collecting dust pretty much since. Is it any surprise that 99% of the library is cheap as hell? Hmmm probably because 99% of the games were prime examples of what games should not be: glitchy, poorly programmed, devoid of fun, unimaginative.

Yeah I'm not saying games like Mario 64 or Banjo Kaoozie weren't imaginative, but the suffered from other problems (not much fun, shitty controls, glitchy). Although I will say more games would be playable if it weren't for control issues.

Sigh after remembering how shitty the n64 was it does not surprise me one bit how shitty the Wii has turned out to be. RIP old awesome Nintendo, and go to hell bastardized new Nintendo.

albinoMithos · 03/26/2009, 03:13 AM

OG Link: http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/cosmicvariance/files/uploads/getoffmylawnunbrand.jpg

Duo_R · 03/26/2009, 03:18 AM

Nintendo gets points for originality and the inclusion of something that became standard in video game controllers today: the analog stick.

Nintendo isn't afraid to make innovative controllers (and sometimes too innovative like the Wii). Sony is conservative as hell and cannot create new designs (but I like them). Microsoft makes crap controllers.

And NEC makes PERFECT controllers!

Did you just say you would pick an interact controller over this thing????

Zeon · 03/26/2009, 03:44 AM

Quote from: Duo_R on 03/26/2009, 03:18 AMDid you just say you would pick an interact controller over this thing????

No I believe I said I would take an Intellivision controller over the ass-64 controller.

Turbo D · 03/26/2009, 03:52 AM

The N64 and I have a love/hate relationship. I love the story and classic Nintendo atmosphere of the games, but hate the often shitty control and terrible camera angles. I also hate how character's hands look retarded in all N64 games. Zelda, Mario, Banjo, you name them, they all got retarded hands. I also thought that the graphics where blurry/grainy, idk, they weren't polished. Oh ya, that controller sucked ass. It made gay clicking/grinding sounds and emitted a strange white powder. I wasn't even sure what was going on with that thing. I tried snorting the white analog stick powder, but it just gave me allergies. What a rip! haha.

Joe Redifer · 03/26/2009, 04:47 AM

Nintendo hasn't made a truly sensible controller since the SNES. The N64 was made for people who like to lick anus juice that gets splattered around the toilet when they launch a diarrhea bomb. Anyone who likes the console deserves AIDS and so does their entire family. The Gamecube controller was very comfortable to hold and the analog stick was by far the most responsive and precise of its generation, but the buttons look like randomly splattered Play-Doh and therefore anyone who approves of it deserves to have their eye socket raped by a horde of goddamn japs. The Wii is all fucked up. Anyone who enjoys it deserves to be murdered.

Hmmm... I like this "anything goes" forum!

Keranu · 03/26/2009, 05:01 AM

I don't completely understand why people hate the N64 controller so much. At first glance, yeah it does look super retarded because it has three "handles", but it's a pretty normal controller aside from that. You never use the left/d-pad handle, so you're mostly just using the other two. The button layout is actually kind of neat because it can work as a standard two-button NES style pad (big A and B buttons), diamond SNES pad (C buttons), and best yet, a Saturn style pad (B+top left C buttons ontop of A+bottom right C buttons). The analog stick is kinda dorky, but I haven't really had problems with it.

Gamecube is the controller that should take the heat though. I still cannot make any sense of the button layout.

albinoMithos · 03/26/2009, 05:02 AM

Quote from: Joe Redifer on 03/26/2009, 04:47 AMNintendo hasn't made a truly sensible controller since the SNES. The N64 was made for people who like to lick anus juice that gets splattered around the toilet when they launch a diarrhea bomb. Anyone who likes the console deserves AIDS and so does their entire family. The Gamecube controller was very comfortable to hold and the analog stick was by far the most responsive and precise of its generation, but the buttons look like randomly splattered Play-Doh and therefore anyone who approves of it deserves to have their eye socket raped by a horde of goddamn japs. The Wii is all fucked up. Anyone who enjoys it deserves to be murdered.

Hmmm... I like this "anything goes" forum!

I agree on the wii, but c'mon AIDS? I don't know about my family but I'm not someone who should have AIDS! I'm a 64 lover.

Zeon · 03/26/2009, 05:10 AM

Quote from: Keranu on 03/26/2009, 05:01 AMI don't completely understand why people hate the N64 controller so much. At first glance, yeah it does look super retarded because it has three "handles", but it's a pretty normal controller aside from that. You never use the left/d-pad handle, so you're mostly just using the other two. The button layout is actually kind of neat because it can work as a standard two-button NES style pad (big A and B buttons), diamond SNES pad (C buttons), and best yet, a Saturn style pad (B+top left C buttons ontop of A+bottom right C buttons). The analog stick is kinda dorky, but I haven't really had problems with it.

Gamecube is the controller that should take the heat though. I still cannot make any sense of the button layout.

No man You have it backwards, it's the n64 controller that's impossible to make sense of. I mean have you actually used that damn thing with any success?! If you say yes, you good sir, are a horrible, horrible liar that needs to stop lying the horrible lies that you do spew forth! I can't use that analog stick, fuck that, and forget trying to press a single button, impossible! I have never succeeded in pressing only ONE button when I need to! I always end up pressing at least 3, and that evil unnatural god forsaken hellacious z trigger.

God damn it, now I'm all pissed off at Nintendo again! Fuck you Nintendo! Fuck you all the way to Fuckaopcalypse and back a million times over to the billionth power!

* 1000000^1000000000

albinoMithos · 03/26/2009, 05:14 AM

Quote from: Zeon on 03/26/2009, 05:10 AM
Quote from: Keranu on 03/26/2009, 05:01 AMI don't completely understand why people hate the N64 controller so much. At first glance, yeah it does look super retarded because it has three "handles", but it's a pretty normal controller aside from that. You never use the left/d-pad handle, so you're mostly just using the other two. The button layout is actually kind of neat because it can work as a standard two-button NES style pad (big A and B buttons), diamond SNES pad (C buttons), and best yet, a Saturn style pad (B+top left C buttons ontop of A+bottom right C buttons). The analog stick is kinda dorky, but I haven't really had problems with it.

Gamecube is the controller that should take the heat though. I still cannot make any sense of the button layout.
No man You have it backwards, it's the n64 controller that's impossible to make sense of. I mean have you actually used that damn thing with any success?! If you say yes, you good sir, are a horrible, horrible liar that needs to stop lying the horrible lies that you do spew forth! I can't use that analog stick, fuck that, and forget trying to press a single button, impossible! I have never succeeded in pressing only ONE button when I need to! I always end up pressing at least 3, and that evil unnatural god forsaken hellacious z trigger.

God damn it, now I'm all pissed off at Nintendo again! Fuck you Nintendo! Fuck you all the way to Fuckaopcalypse and back a million times over to the billionth power!
* 1000000^1000000000

Joe Redifer · 03/26/2009, 05:56 AM

Quote from: MithosI agree on the wii, but c'mon AIDS? I don't know about my family but I'm not someone who should have AIDS! I'm a 64 lover.

Yes, you, your family and all your friends all absolutely deserve a triple dose of AIDS. Please go get it. I want you to have AIDS. I want you to die from AIDS. I hope you suffer. Please post again when you get AIDS so we can celebrate!

Turbo D · 03/26/2009, 06:04 AM

Jared has aids, that's how he lost all that weight.

albinoMithos · 03/26/2009, 06:06 AM

Quote from: Joe Redifer on 03/26/2009, 05:56 AM
Quote from: MithosI agree on the wii, but c'mon AIDS? I don't know about my family but I'm not someone who should have AIDS! I'm a 64 lover.
Yes, you, your family and all your friends all absolutely deserve a triple dose of AIDS. Please go get it. I want you to have AIDS. I want you to die from AIDS. I hope you suffer. Please post again when you get AIDS so we can celebrate!

I'm sorry good sir, but I am a magical albino. Don't you know we don't get AIDS we cure AIDS.

Zeon · 03/26/2009, 06:14 AM

Quote from: Joe Redifer on 03/26/2009, 05:56 AM
Quote from: MithosI agree on the wii, but c'mon AIDS? I don't know about my family but I'm not someone who should have AIDS! I'm a 64 lover.
Yes, you, your family and all your friends all absolutely deserve a triple dose of AIDS. Please go get it. I want you to have AIDS. I want you to die from AIDS. I hope you suffer. Please post again when you get AIDS so we can celebrate!

You know I am within walking distance from mithos, that can be arranged

....

Quote from: Mithos on 03/26/2009, 06:06 AMI'm sorry good sir, but I am a magical albino. Don't you know we don't get AIDS we cure AIDS.

Oh you most certainly can! There is a new mutated strand of aids called Super Aids, you see it's like normal aids, cept for albinos, it makes you think you are the whitest man/woman alive, and before you know it tea and crumpet time is a daily occasion, and you actually know what the fuck a parsnip is.

Also for anyone who likes the n64 it makes you devolve and form ever so slowly and painfully into a Phillips cd-i as punishment for liking such fail.

Oh and if you are so magical why is Steve Jobs still alive?

albinoMithos · 03/26/2009, 06:16 AM

Quote from: Zeon on 03/26/2009, 06:14 AM
Quote from: Joe Redifer on 03/26/2009, 05:56 AM
Quote from: MithosI agree on the wii, but c'mon AIDS? I don't know about my family but I'm not someone who should have AIDS! I'm a 64 lover.
Yes, you, your family and all your friends all absolutely deserve a triple dose of AIDS. Please go get it. I want you to have AIDS. I want you to die from AIDS. I hope you suffer. Please post again when you get AIDS so we can celebrate!
You know I am within walking distance from mithos, that can be arranged ....

Quote from: Mithos on 03/26/2009, 06:06 AMI'm sorry good sir, but I am a magical albino. Don't you know we don't get AIDS we cure AIDS.
Oh you most certainly can! There is a new mutated strand of aids called Super Aids, you see it's like normal aids, cept for albinos, it makes you think you are the whitest man/woman alive, and before you know it tea and crumpet time is a daily occasion, and you actually know what the fuck a parsnip is.

Also for anyone who likes the n64 it makes you devolve and form ever so slowly and painfully into a Phillips cd-i as punishment for liking such fail.

Oh and if you are so magical why is Steve Jobs still alive?

Actually Steve Jobs has a terminal illness or something close. And if you use Super AIDS then I'll just become a Super Albino. That'll fix your wagon.

Zeon · 03/26/2009, 06:18 AM

Quote from: Mithos on 03/26/2009, 06:16 AMActually Steve Jobs has a terminal illness or something close. And if you use Super AIDS then I'll just become a Super Albino. That'll fix your wagon.

Why am I imagining a superhero called Super Albino? You know one of those bullshit educational type superhero's like Bibleman that are used solely to promote awareness/viewpoints on a subject?

albinoMithos · 03/26/2009, 06:23 AM

Quote from: Zeon on 03/26/2009, 06:18 AM
Quote from: Mithos on 03/26/2009, 06:16 AMActually Steve Jobs has a terminal illness or something close. And if you use Super AIDS then I'll just become a Super Albino. That'll fix your wagon.
Why am I imagining a superhero called Super Albino? You know one of those bullshit educational type superhero's like Bibleman that are used solely to promote awareness/viewpoints on a subject?

Oh you're so very wrong. You've obviously never seen DBZ. Super Albinos come from Planet Algeta where our ancestors were a breed of powerful Warlords with powers beyond that of the lower normal class. Super Albinos have 4 forms Super Albino 1, Super Albino 2, Super Albino 3, and the fabled Super Albino 4. We love more vision, but the rest of our senses become more epic. Also we gain the ability to shoot lasers and fly and do whatever. More importantly we're able to cure Super AIDS. Besides what about me says 'educational' or 'helpful'. Also N64>your face.

Zeon · 03/26/2009, 06:32 AM

Quote from: Mithos on 03/26/2009, 06:23 AM
Quote from: Zeon on 03/26/2009, 06:18 AM
Quote from: Mithos on 03/26/2009, 06:16 AMActually Steve Jobs has a terminal illness or something close. And if you use Super AIDS then I'll just become a Super Albino. That'll fix your wagon.
Why am I imagining a superhero called Super Albino? You know one of those bullshit educational type superhero's like Bibleman that are used solely to promote awareness/viewpoints on a subject?
Oh you're so very wrong. You've obviously never seen DBZ. Super Albinos come from Planet Algeta where our ancestors were a breed of powerful Warlords with powers beyond that of the lower normal class. Super Albinos have 4 forms Super Albino 1, Super Albino 2, Super Albino 3, and the fabled Super Albino 4. We love more vision, but the rest of our senses become more epic. Also we gain the ability to shoot lasers and fly and do whatever. More importantly we're able to cure Super AIDS. Besides what about me says 'educational' or 'helpful'. Also N64>your face.

Yeah well unfortunately for you your love of the ass64 prevents you from ever becoming anything near a Super Albino, in fact it weakens your body and mind with it's grainy eye gouging worthy shit graphics, it's mind-numbingly shitty gameplay, and severe lack of anything awesome. No one fears any man who likes the 64, cause we all know, if they can actually use that damn controller effectively, they aren't real. No one should ever fear a nonexistant man.

Also, no the 64 is better than nothing and a sandwich is also better than nothing so n64 = sandwich, and that's only if said sandwich was made of elephant shit

albinoMithos · 03/26/2009, 06:35 AM

Quote from: Zeon on 03/26/2009, 06:32 AM
Quote from: Mithos on 03/26/2009, 06:23 AM
Quote from: Zeon on 03/26/2009, 06:18 AM
Quote from: Mithos on 03/26/2009, 06:16 AMActually Steve Jobs has a terminal illness or something close. And if you use Super AIDS then I'll just become a Super Albino. That'll fix your wagon.
Why am I imagining a superhero called Super Albino? You know one of those bullshit educational type superhero's like Bibleman that are used solely to promote awareness/viewpoints on a subject?
Oh you're so very wrong. You've obviously never seen DBZ. Super Albinos come from Planet Algeta where our ancestors were a breed of powerful Warlords with powers beyond that of the lower normal class. Super Albinos have 4 forms Super Albino 1, Super Albino 2, Super Albino 3, and the fabled Super Albino 4. We love more vision, but the rest of our senses become more epic. Also we gain the ability to shoot lasers and fly and do whatever. More importantly we're able to cure Super AIDS. Besides what about me says 'educational' or 'helpful'. Also N64>your face.
Yeah well unfortunately for you your love of the ass64 prevents you from ever becoming anything near a Super Albino, in fact it weakens your body and mind with it's grainy eye gouging worthy shit graphics, it's mind-numbingly shitty gameplay, and severe lack of anything awesome. No one fears any man who likes the 64, cause we all know, if they can actually use that damn controller effectively, they aren't real. No one should ever fear a nonexistant man.

Also, no the 64 is better than nothing and a sandwich is also better than nothing so n64 = sandwich, and that's only if said sandwich was made of elephant shit

Except you fail to realize you suck at using the controller. I've mastered that thing and the 64 wins on so many levels that your face doesn't. Also

Nobody listens to pedophiles. Have a nice day.

Zeon · 03/26/2009, 06:42 AM

Hey man I hate kids just as much as the next guy, how the hell you gather that I'm a pedo...mmmmmmmm come back here timmy, I've got something to show you...um ahem yep totally not a pedo, and you can't prove otherwise O:)

Ok man, seriously, don't go posting pictures of me, not cool!

Anyways, back on topic N64 sucks ass ball propagating turd spewing chunks

Joe Redifer · 03/26/2009, 04:57 PM

Fucking Nintendo.

jboypacman · 03/26/2009, 07:19 PM

The N64 was good for two things.....Mario and Import Pro Wrestling video games sad but true.

Arjak · 03/26/2009, 07:28 PM

Did anyone ever actually USE the god damned L Button? I mean, seriously! All it ever did was make games harder than they needed to be! (See Starfox 64, where it turns off the crosshair; and Zelda: OoT, where it turns off the map.)

Arkhan Asylum · 03/27/2009, 01:57 AM

In 4th grade my grama gave me two options from the toy catalog

Do you want an N64 or a Playstation?

I looked at the catalog and saw FFVII and CD games and went "Playstation. The n64 is for retards"

Never owned one.

My friends all got one and were like

OMG DEWD FUGGIN GOLDENEYE ITS SO RAD OMG LIKE U SHEWT DUDES AND OMG THERES A LAZER AND OMG ITS GOT PAINTBAWLS AND LOLZ

and then im like

"OMG RESIDENT EVIL. THERES ZOMBIES AND BLOOD. AND FFVII. AND IT PLAYS MUSIC CDS TOO AND OH, YEAH, YOUR N64 SUCKS".

noone believed me. Then they came over, played oddworld, ffvii, and a few other games and went "damnit"

N64 is a retarded piece of trash. The games are sluggish. the controller blows, the games are bullshit and the accessories run off batteries and shit.

OH , and its cartridges. GOOD JOB NINTENDOPES

Joe Redifer · 03/27/2009, 02:02 AM

QuoteIn 4th grade my grama gave me two options from the toy catalog

Do you want an N64 or a Playstation?

I looked at the catalog and saw FFVII and CD games and went "Playstation. The n64 is for retards"

Haha did you actually say that to your Gramma? That would rule.

Keranu · 03/27/2009, 02:59 AM

Quoteand then im like

"OMG RESIDENT EVIL. THERES ZOMBIES AND BLOOD. AND FFVII. AND IT PLAYS MUSIC CDS TOO AND OH, YEAH, YOUR N64 SUCKS".

Sorry, Resident Evil is dogshit. Even as a bratty kid back then, I knew the controls were retarded. At least the N64 had some playable 3D games. Sticking with cartridge format though was hands down the biggest reason why Nintendo went out of the spotlight. They could've had Final Fantasy VII and Metal Gear Solid if it wasn't for that... two of the most anticipated franchises today.

rag-time4 · 03/27/2009, 03:45 AM

Quote from: Keranu on 03/27/2009, 02:59 AM
Quoteand then im like

"OMG RESIDENT EVIL. THERES ZOMBIES AND BLOOD. AND FFVII. AND IT PLAYS MUSIC CDS TOO AND OH, YEAH, YOUR N64 SUCKS".
Sorry, Resident Evil is dogshit. Even as a bratty kid back then, I knew the controls were retarded.

TANK CONTROLS = FAIL

Keranu · 03/27/2009, 04:37 AM

Definitely. Not to mention you couldn't frickin' shoot while walking! As usual, Capcom depends on the target audience (because the growing number of goth teens at the time would love the zombie concept).

Ceti Alpha · 03/27/2009, 12:44 PM

The N64 controller was terribly uncomfortable. I loved Golden Eye, but my thumb would be in agony trying to use the analogue stick. That being said, I did like the N64.

DJLobo · 03/27/2009, 02:44 PM

There was only 1 good thing about the Nintendo 64 and it's already been mentioned: Goldeneye. My old college roommate brought up his brother's N64 to school for a semester and we spent many drunken weekends playing it. I hated that friggin' controller.

Arkhan Asylum · 03/27/2009, 04:44 PM

Quote from: Joe Redifer on 03/27/2009, 02:02 AM
Quote from: Psycho ArkhanIn 4th grade my grama gave me two options from the toy catalog

Do you want an N64 or a Playstation?

I looked at the catalog and saw FFVII and CD games and went "Playstation. The n64 is for retards"
Haha did you actually say that to your Gramma? That would rule.

yes I did, lol.

and, what was wrong with RE1? What N64 title of the same time era was as good?

Mario 64 doesnt count, because that games trash.

you cant run and shoot in MGS either. >_>

albinoMithos · 03/27/2009, 04:56 PM

Quote
Quote from: Joe Redifer on 03/27/2009, 02:02 AM
QuoteIn 4th grade my grama gave me two options from the toy catalog

Do you want an N64 or a Playstation?

I looked at the catalog and saw FFVII and CD games and went "Playstation. The n64 is for retards"
Haha did you actually say that to your Gramma? That would rule.
Mario 64 doesnt count, because that games trash.

Oh you can go to the lowest levels of hell for that one man. Mario 64 is awesome. Especially when you get to the upper levels of the castle.

Resident Evil 1 was awesome. I don't know why people complain about the tank controls. You simply don't need to run and gun in that game. The way they made the game to resemble a b-grade movie works. I will say that the best version is the Director's Cut version on the PSX. Also Goldeneye was only alright. They f*cked up royally with the control scheme. That little red crosshair still pisses me off till this day. I swear this place is the only place I've encountered such N64 hate. I'm still glad I got one over a Saturn back when it first came out. If I didn't I would've missed my favorite Zelda game OoT.

Arjak · 03/27/2009, 05:27 PM

Quoteyou cant run and shoot in MGS either. >_>

AHEM.

http://www.thesnakesoup.org/?section=myths&content=runshoot

Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

geise · 03/27/2009, 06:56 PM

Quote from: Mithos on 03/27/2009, 04:56 PMI'm still glad I got one over a Saturn back when it first came out. If I didn't I would've missed my favorite Zelda game OoT.

...and what the fuck is wrong with the Saturn? I never understood what the deal was with Zelda...especially on the N64. I like the original Zelda, not a huge fan of link, couldn't get into the 3d ones, and I still have yet to play through the Wii Zelda that I got from my wife for xmas. Saturn is one of the best 32bit systems as far as I'm concerned. N64 was in a league of it's own, since it was the only "true" shity 64-bit system for it's time.

albinoMithos · 03/27/2009, 08:14 PM

Quote from: geise on 03/27/2009, 06:56 PM
Quote from: Mithos on 03/27/2009, 04:56 PMI'm still glad I got one over a Saturn back when it first came out. If I didn't I would've missed my favorite Zelda game OoT.
...and what the fuck is wrong with the Saturn? I never understood what the deal was with Zelda...especially on the N64. I like the original Zelda, not a huge fan of link, couldn't get into the 3d ones, and I still have yet to play through the Wii Zelda that I got from my wife for xmas. Saturn is one of the best 32bit systems as far as I'm concerned. N64 was in a league of it's own, since it was the only "true" shity 64-bit system for it's time.

There's nothing wrong with the Saturn. Never said there was. The Wii Zelda was bullshit. Saturn died out around the time the N64 came out. At the time paying the price for a Saturn during it's death throes would've been stupid as fuck. And for what? A few US releases I had little to no hope of getting until much later? Fuck that. I enjoyed my system then and I do now.

Arkhan Asylum · 03/28/2009, 08:15 AM

Quote from: Mithos on 03/27/2009, 04:56 PM
Quote from: Psycho Arkhan on 03/27/2009, 04:44 PM
Quote from: Joe Redifer on 03/27/2009, 02:02 AM
Quote from: Psycho ArkhanIn 4th grade my grama gave me two options from the toy catalog

Do you want an N64 or a Playstation?

I looked at the catalog and saw FFVII and CD games and went "Playstation. The n64 is for retards"
Haha did you actually say that to your Gramma? That would rule.
Mario 64 doesnt count, because that games trash.
Oh you can go to the lowest levels of hell for that one man. Mario 64 is awesome. Especially when you get to the upper levels of the castle.

Resident Evil 1 was awesome. I don't know why people complain about the tank controls. You simply don't need to run and gun in that game. The way they made the game to resemble a b-grade movie works. I will say that the best version is the Director's Cut version on the PSX. Also Goldeneye was only alright. They fucked up royally with the control scheme. That little red crosshair still pisses me off till this day. I swear this place is the only place I've encountered such N64 hate. I'm still glad I got one over a Saturn back when it first came out. If I didn't I would've missed my favorite Zelda game OoT.

I preferred Spyro gex and crash over mario in 3d.... ._.

and, ... that run/shoot in MGS is awesome. Maybe now I can beat it in 1:10 instead of 1:15, lol

albinoMithos · 03/28/2009, 10:21 AM

Quote
Quote from: Mithos on 03/27/2009, 04:56 PM
Quote
Quote from: Joe Redifer on 03/27/2009, 02:02 AM
QuoteIn 4th grade my grama gave me two options from the toy catalog

Do you want an N64 or a Playstation?

I looked at the catalog and saw FFVII and CD games and went "Playstation. The n64 is for retards"
Haha did you actually say that to your Gramma? That would rule.
Mario 64 doesnt count, because that games trash.
Oh you can go to the lowest levels of hell for that one man. Mario 64 is awesome. Especially when you get to the upper levels of the castle.

Resident Evil 1 was awesome. I don't know why people complain about the tank controls. You simply don't need to run and gun in that game. The way they made the game to resemble a b-grade movie works. I will say that the best version is the Director's Cut version on the PSX. Also Goldeneye was only alright. They f*cked up royally with the control scheme. That little red crosshair still pisses me off till this day. I swear this place is the only place I've encountered such N64 hate. I'm still glad I got one over a Saturn back when it first came out. If I didn't I would've missed my favorite Zelda game OoT.
I preferred Spyro gex and crash over mario in 3d.... ._.

and, ... that run/shoot in MGS is awesome. Maybe now I can beat it in 1:10 instead of 1:15, lol

See I liked Spyro, Gex, and Crash in addition to Mario in 3D. Though Crash and Spyro died out after Naughty Dog sold those franchises off. Also CTR sucked ass. Crash Bandicoot started sucking after the 3rd one and the same with Spyro. And while I love Gex I found it nowhere near as fun as Mario 64. Still a great game though.

Arkhan Asylum · 03/28/2009, 06:00 PM

I think Sonic made the jump to 3D much more gracefully than Mario...

Playstation had some other awesome jumpy games.

like Klonoa

albinoMithos · 03/28/2009, 07:08 PM

QuoteI think Sonic made the jump to 3D much more gracefully than Mario...

WTF!?!?!? No man. The camera in Sonic Adventure was mega ass. Don't believe me? Go play Sky Deck on Sonic's scenario? Then they had the nerve to add voices. Sonic Adventure 2 was fun but they nerfed Tails bigtime and there hasn't been a good 3D Sonic game since. So far Mario 3D has made a better and longer lasting transition.

geise · 03/28/2009, 09:05 PM

Well add to the fact that Yuji Naka hasn't made a Sonic game for a very long time since he formed Prope. That's like a Mario game being made without Miyamoto. I still want to see what a Mario game without his input would be like. Sonic gets a bad rap.

albinoMithos · 03/28/2009, 09:20 PM

Quote from: geise on 03/28/2009, 09:05 PMWell add to the fact that Yuji Naka hasn't made a Sonic game for a very long time since he formed Prope. That's like a Mario game being made without Miyamoto. I still want to see what a Mario game without his input would be like. Sonic gets a bad rap.

That still doesn't change the fact that Sonic didn't have as good of a transition into 3D as Mario. The end result is what matters. Also even with Miyamoto on a project that doesn't make it good. Just look at Zelda: Twilight Princess and Super Mario Galaxy. Without Miyamoto at the helm games have been able to turn out well. Like Zelda Minish Cap. Sonic gets a bad rap because they've chugged out nothing but crap after Sonic Adventure 2 save for the handheld Sonic games. They're not even trying to make a decent Sonic game whatsoever. I like Sonic and all but I know damn well when it needed to stop and that was with the death of the Dreamcast.

Keranu · 03/28/2009, 10:57 PM

Sonic Adventure could've been awesome. Whenever I bring up that game, I always mention how the game had a great first level that actually felt like a Sonic game, but the game immediately falls flat after that.

Mario 64 was great back in the day and is still great now. Galaxy was a good game, but I just wasn't charmed by it like Mario 64 (and even Sunshine, to it's own extents). Same with Twighlite Princess, though I just thought that was a bad game period.

Zeon · 03/30/2009, 05:43 PM

Quote from: Keranu on 03/28/2009, 10:57 PMMario 64 was great back in the day and is still great now.

But WHAT actually made it so great, I always hear people talk about how great mario 64 was then and how great it still is, but they never explain why?

Let's see what you have to look forward to in Super Mario 64:

Horrible, often glitchy as hell camera
Ass looking typical early 3d polygontastic graphics, so bad they are distracting (not Virtua Fighter 1 bad but bad enough to give you the same effect)
Shitty and sloppy controls, and no this isn't just a controller issue, I'm pretty damn sure the controls would suck on any controller.
Fucking glitch city, some of which can and will fuck you over.
Level design might have been clever in some cases, however the shitty camera, controls, and graphics ruin any possibility of fun there
Collecting gold stars! Oh boy George it's like kindergarten all over again!!!!

Seriously people give me a REAL reason for this game's supposed "greatness". Not, "oh I love that game", "it has aged well", "it was just fun" or any such "it just is" bullshit.

I guess people can't because there are no real reasons it is any good, they are just brainwashed by nostalgia or something...

Duo_R · 03/30/2009, 06:01 PM

1st there is a fix for non-responsive controllers (because Mario 64 did control very well):

http://www.mmmonkey.co.uk/console/nintendo/n64cont.htm

For some reason Zeon, you make me think that you are playing Mario 64 on a DS, because that one DID suck on controls.

and Sonic made a graceful jump to 3D???? WTF!!!!

rag-time4 · 03/30/2009, 06:03 PM

Quote from: Mithos on 03/27/2009, 04:56 PMResident Evil 1 was awesome. I don't know why people complain about the tank controls.

Ahem... maybe because your character isn't a tank and therefore shouldn't move around and control like one??

albinoMithos · 03/30/2009, 06:41 PM

Quote from: rag-time4 on 03/30/2009, 06:03 PM
Quote from: Mithos on 03/27/2009, 04:56 PMResident Evil 1 was awesome. I don't know why people complain about the tank controls.
Ahem... maybe because your character isn't a tank and therefore shouldn't move around and control like one??

And yet it still worked. The controls added to the whole B-rated movie feel of the game. That's my take on it.

Zeon · 03/30/2009, 06:49 PM

Quote from: Duo_R on 03/30/2009, 06:01 PM1st there is a fix for non-responsive controllers (because Mario 64 did control very well):

http://www.mmmonkey.co.uk/console/nintendo/n64cont.htm

For some reason Zeon, you make me think that you are playing Mario 64 on a DS, because that one DID suck on controls.

and Sonic made a graceful jump to 3D???? WTF!!!!

And yet amazingly, you still avoid my question on what actually made Mario 64 great. Mario 64 lovers really must be full of it. I attack the game, giving valid reasons for it not being any fun, and all they do is refute, often quite poorly i might add, my points providing NO reasons whatsoever as to what makes it any good or fun to play!

I'm not stupid, I know the difference between a Nintendo 64 and a DS. That is, one has redeeming qualities (the DS) and the other should have never existed.

albinoMithos · 03/30/2009, 06:50 PM

Quote from: Zeon on 03/30/2009, 05:43 PM
Quote from: Keranu on 03/28/2009, 10:57 PMMario 64 was great back in the day and is still great now.
But WHAT actually made it so great, I always hear people talk about how great mario 64 was then and how great it still is, but they never explain why?

Let's see what you have to look forward to in Super Mario 64:

Horrible, often glitchy as hell camera
Ass looking typical early 3d polygontastic graphics, so bad they are distracting (not Virtua Fighter 1 bad but bad enough to give you the same effect)
Shitty and sloppy controls, and no this isn't just a controller issue, I'm pretty damn sure the controls would suck on any controller.
Fucking glitch city, some of which can and will fuck you over.
Level design might have been clever in some cases, however the shitty camera, controls, and graphics ruin any possibility of fun there
Collecting gold stars! Oh boy George it's like kindergarten all over again!!!!

Seriously people give me a REAL reason for this game's supposed "greatness". Not, "oh I love that game", "it has aged well", "it was just fun" or any such "it just is" bullshit.

I guess people can't because there are no real reasons it is any good, they are just brainwashed by nostalgia or something...

I haven't run into the problems you've run into for Mario 64. And talking about the game's objective is pointless because many games out there can be simplified to the lowest common denominator. Also it's a bit hypocritical of you to complain about graphics when you say you don't care about graphics. You talk about how bad the graphics are, but there are far far far worse games out there graphically when it comes to early 3D gaming. As for the controls, they worked for the game. I don't know what your problems with them were but run and jump works for Mario. He had a punch and grab in the game which you used, but nothing about it was shitty. You want to know why the game was great? It gave off a great atmosphere, it had awesome levels, great music, and at the time it was something new for the series and people loved it and still do love the game. I am a bit tired of that style of play and would like them to make a game based of the platforming stages of Mario Sunshine, but I don't see that happening anytime soon so I'll just enjoy 64 for the time being. I honestly think your problem is more with 3D than anything and your luck with controllers in general seems to be crap because you've complained about keyboard controls before and I know damn well they work fine.

Zeon · 03/30/2009, 07:26 PM

Quote from: Mithos on 03/30/2009, 06:50 PMI haven't run into the problems you've run into for Mario 64. And talking about the game's objective is pointless because many games out there can be simplified to the lowest common denominator.

The reason I simplify it to the lowest common denominator is because all of the inbetween stuff, ya know where gameplay and whatnot normally come in to play, are severely lacking in quality and fun. It really feels like a chore to plod through. Yes the gold star is the goal much like defeating a boss completing a stage, etc. but the journey there is neither interesting nor fun.

Quote from: Mithos on 03/30/2009, 06:50 PMAlso it's a bit hypocritical of you to complain about graphics when you say you don't care about graphics. You talk about how bad the graphics are, but there are far far far worse games out there graphically when it comes to early 3D gaming.

Ah I knew someone would say this. You see the graphics are so poorly done they are distracting and interfere with normal gameplay. I don't care about graphics except in a case like this. I would say the crash games were better done in this aspect, due to a set camera view, not cramming to much busy shit on the screen, and not being so damn distracting. The camera in mario 64 is shit, pure complete shit, I have been screwed over many a time when i was behind something where I could not see myself, and the camera just REFUSED to move anywhere, it would just stutter and make that "not happening" sound effect no matter what i tried. Before I could get out of that place where it refused to go an unseen enemy either knocked me off of an edge or killed me from damage. That is the worst case, but the camera has done a lot of other pissy shit that screw you up. Adjustable/moving camera views are fine if done well. Unfortunately that's not the case for mario 64.

Quote from: Mithos on 03/30/2009, 06:50 PMAs for the controls, they worked for the game. I don't know what your problems with them were but run and jump works for Mario. He had a punch and grab in the game which you used, but nothing about it was shitty.

Anything other than punch and jump was shitty, you know like flying? oh god. I'm sorry even when brand new those n64 analog nubs are WAAAAAAY to sensitive. It feels unnatural and wrong trying to move mario around, like you are fighting with him the whole damn way.

Quote from: Mithos on 03/30/2009, 06:50 PMYou want to know why the game was great? It gave off a great atmosphere, it had awesome levels, great music, and at the time it was something new for the series and people loved it and still do love the game.

Ok the music was good i'll give it that, but I'm not about to torture myself for some good music, I have winamp for that. I attribute the "great atmosphere, and awesome levels" to your lack of good taste.

Quote from: Mithos on 03/30/2009, 06:50 PMI am a bit tired of that style of play and would like them to make a game based of the platforming stages of Mario Sunshine,

I concur, just replace Mario Sunshine with a 3d platformer I am more familiar with as I have never played Mario Sunshine.

Quote from: Mithos on 03/30/2009, 06:50 PMbut I don't see that happening anytime soon so I'll just enjoy 64 for the time being.

...and I won't

Quote from: Mithos on 03/30/2009, 06:50 PMI honestly think your problem is more with 3D than anything

You are right I generally don't like 3d platformers as well, but there are other 3d platformers I can actually play and don't suffer from shit controls, like oh say the old spyros? Those were actually kinda fun.

Quote from: Mithos on 03/30/2009, 06:50 PMand your luck with controllers in general seems to be crap because you've complained about keyboard controls before and I know damn well they work fine.

I never really complained about keyboard controls. I said they aren't for me, because surprise surprise, I grew up playing consoles and never really got to play games with a keyboard and mouse. It's not so much that I have problems as that I have a preference. If I really wanted I could sit and get used to it, and I'll admit fps's are meant to be played with a keyboard and mouse, too bad I never cared for fps's period.

Arkhan Asylum · 03/30/2009, 08:40 PM

The Saturn sonic games were fun like 3D Blast and Sonic-R?

THOSE are the equivalent games. Hell the prototypes and that ONE level in Sonic Jam were cooler than Mario 64

and for the record, I beat sonic adventure with everyone in a day no problems and enjoyed it the entire way. The graphics were smooth and the game play was fun.

Mario 64 suffers what 95% of N64 games suffer from: sluggish as balls 3d rendered nonsense.

golden eye, perfect dark, all that crap.... it was great at the time, unless you owned a PlayStation and knew better.

at least mischief makers was good.

Castlevania 64 was a better platformer than Mario 64.

Nintendo's been dropping the ball left and right with Mario and such since then anyways. Sunshine is retarded,Zelda went to 3D and turned into a kiddy-game that holds your hand the whole way, Metroid Prime is just boring (It should have been 3rd person like a tomb raider)........

and then you add your gimmick Wii controls and the above get even worse.

"QUICK ITS AN ACTION SCENE!: SHAKE THE CONTROLLER LIKE AN ASSHOLE AND HOPE YOU WIN! THIS IS THE FUTURE OF GAMING. WII WOULD LIKE TO PLAY!!111 >_O"