teh "How did you get fired?" thread aka BLAZING LAZERS

[blueraven]

Enter Ye hardships here.

I'll start. I was put on probation from my first job in 1995 bagging groceries after I called in "sick" to work. Boss said there were customer complaints that I was too slow and apparently I massively fucked up this old lady's loaf of white bread, which was a goddamn cardinal sin in this place. These accusations were lies. A lot of old people have nothing better to do then bitch about young people trying to make shit money to buy beer and records and pc engine. It was one of those grocery stores where they opened like 10 locations in the state, and the owner wore this stupid-ass hat all of the time, did all of the commercials on local tv, and had this Jesus-like cult of personality. I got paid $5.75 an hour to be a mule, and I'm telling you, the employees licked his boots and worshiped him like a god. You could get fired for smoking a cigarette on cart duty as well. I had to wear a tie and hard-soled shoes to do that job, and in the winter, the only reprieve from your shirt and tie was to wear a football sweatshirt on pre-approved NFL Sundays. Their holiday bonuses were $10 in-store credit vouchers. The training videos were Eisenhower-era, the break room in a cement catacombs, and the assistant manager was so beaten into submission he would actually twitch when the employees would come around. They were anti-union. The "Enforcer", or loser brother of the owner who was paid a managers salary to walk around and talk shit. The employees referred to him as "Easy Money" and he had an orca-fat wife who was insanely mean to me because I accidentally witnessed her having an argument and she slapped the shit out of her dickhead husband. She ran the floral department and hated him, I assume by what she said while slapping him, for being impotent. After finally not wanting to take "Easy Money's" shit anymore I told the him to fuck off in front of the same white bread old lady, and he asked me to "hand in my tie". I told him I was keeping the tie. He told me "We'll hold your check until you turn in your tie!" I replied, "My check is only $11.50, dickhead." and security threw me out. I got my $11.50 check the next week and kept the tie. I think I still have it.

The place went bankrupt in 2006, shortly after the owner died.

[Nazi NecroPhile]

I've never been fired.  It's not like anyone else wants to run Robot Hell anyway - too much paper work.

[Arkhan Asylum]

I told the manager of Arthur Treachers I was going to punch him in the face when I was 16.  That worked out well.

I walked out of a lot of jobs during highschool.  like:
Chuck E. Cheese (Not taking minimum wage to clean up pee and blood).  
Taco Bell (Got tired of being yelled at for taking too long.  Sorry I want to fold the crunch wrap properly and make food look like the picture)

I got "terminated" once in highschool junior year from some job that wasn't anything like they claimed.  Good job recruitypeople.  Hire me, then fire me because I can't do what you didn't hire me to do.  Derrrrp.  Then they called me back and asked if I'd come do the job since no one else was competent either, and I was the least incompetent. =

I said no and played Ultima Online instead.  , then got hired at a library, which turned out to be good.  Now I'm at a real career, with a degree!  I get kicks going to the taco bell I used to work at, and seeing the same dope managing it.  I can see the envy in his eyes when I pull up to the drive thru in my sweet Mazda3 when he drives a janky Pontiac grand prix.

Lesson learned: Stay away from fast food/kids/local "tech support" jobs.

[geise]

Haha Arthur Treachers.  Man I forgot about that place.  Been way too long since I've  been to Ohio.  Well lucky for me I have yet to have a story.  Hopefully it will stay that way.

Blue at least you don't work there anymore.  It was more of a blessing getting the axe from that shithole of a place.

[A_Locomotive]

I've only been fired from one job and that was because of a switch in management. I was working at a tire and oil change shop that also did minor repairs. The original manager hired me knowing I had no work experience and was willing to teach me and help me out. But then a few weeks in he one day didn't show up and my co worker and I were never told what happened to him the guy who replaced him was a total ass and didn't want to give me a chance and when I couldn't balance a tire or change a cars oil as fast as my co worker who had been doing this for 5 years he fired me and then the economy when belly up and I couldn't find a job for more then 2 years. :/

[Arkhan Asylum]

the arthur treachers in my hood is closed now because the owner, who I said I'd punch, is a dumbfuck

[Joe Redifer]

I was working a projectionist gig for a company called Regency Theatres.  They currently run the Bruin and Village which is the home to a lot of movie premiers in California.  Anyway, technically I was their only dedicated projectionist as managers usually run the booth (which makes it so they do a poor booth job and also a poor floor job since their focus is often directed elsewhere).  The job was good and once when I threatened to quit because of the way I was being treated by the manager at the time, they have me a raise to stay.  The projection booth was mine to run and they made that very clear.  However later on I began to publicly criticize a company called Screenvision.  They were responsible for the pre-roll advertisements that we played before movies and their quality control was SHIT!  Each little ad had to be spliced to the other ads which had to be spliced to the film and there were a ton of ads and they wanted changes every week on every film.  This is not as easy as it sounds.  My film friends and I were bitching about them on an industry web site where we all use our real names (I don't hide behind aliases), though I never mentioned Regency.  Regency's owners contacted me about it and requested I remove the information because they said Screenvision ratted me out.  I don't think that they did, I think Regency was just worried about possibly losing Screenvision's account.  Trust me when I say that Screenvision doesn't give a fuck.  I didn't remove the information.  Anyway, a week or so later I was fired.  The theater went on for a while without me.  Four months later they called me back and asked if I would like to be rehired.  I stayed on for over a year until the theater closed (Target wanted to build there and they bought the land, we still had over 2 years on our contract).  What's funny is that although Screenvision was still shit, they did make some improvements that resulted in a much more sane workflow in the booth.

[nat]

I've never been fired, but I did quit a lot of jobs during my high school years.

There was this one job in particular that I wanted so bad, so much more than any other job I've ever wanted in my life. Don't ask me now why I wanted it, I have no idea what I was thinking. It was to work at this brand new local theater, owned and operated by Cineplex Odeon (do they still exist?).

I had to take a drug test to get the job but I was, uh, experimenting during those years so I couldn't pass it. I had my girlfriend at the time pee in a cup for me and I went through this elaborate ordeal of pouring it into a condom, taping it to my leg, and keeping it warm using a microwavable heating pack also taped to my leg. I wore super-baggy pants to the clinic so no one would be the wiser, and once I got in the stall I popped the condom and emptied it into the provided cup.

I ended up getting the job, and it turned out the be the worst fucking job I've ever had in my life. My first day I had to run one of the concession lines selling all that overpriced popcorn and candy and shit. I remember getting called upstairs to the manager's office at the end of my shift and getting royally reamed for being $1.86 over on my till. I think company policy was like 50 cents leniency either way or something. The manager demanded an explanation why my till was so "far" out of balance and I just couldn't give him a good one. I think they put me on some kind of probation (three strikes and I'd be out), but I never made it that far. I just stopped showing up after four or five weeks.

The theatre is still there, but it's been bought out several times since the Odeon days, I think it's Lowes or Act III or something now.

This story in particular will always stick with me because of the ridiculous lengths I went to with the drug test and everything to get the job, and how much it ended up sucking in the end. Maybe I'd still be there if I'd actually been able to do something cool like run the projectors like Joe.

[Joe Redifer]

Cineplex Odeon (do they still exist?).

Mainly in Canada.  50 cent leniency is absurd.  Back in the brief time I worked concession (a looooong time ago) it was 5 dollars either way for concessions and $10 for box office.  At Regency they didn't have a set rule until I suggested the $5 and then it was implemented.  And even then, the employees don't get reamed about it.  You let them know, definitely, but you don't want them hating you and their job.  The customers can sense that from employees.  If they simply can't do change very well then you can write them up or put them in a position where they don't deal with money.  It's usually easy to tell when an employee is scamming.  I had a projectionist who had a few shifts downstairs that was doing that.  First strike and you're out in that case.

[Arkhan Asylum]

I had to take a pee test when I applied at office max.  Then when they offered me less than my current job, I decided to screw with them.

My urine sample was the liquid soap in the bathroom.

I hand it to lady and she said "This isn't urine, what is it" and I said "you mean you didn't want a sper... .... uh.  oops. my bad. I missed the cup a little in there."

and then I walked out when the lady started screaming and throwing a fit.

[Joe Redifer]

I've never had to take a drug test for any job.  Good thing, too, as I have more meth in my veins than blood.  Meth is awesome, everyone should try it more than once.  It has really enhanced my life (and my teeth).

[Arkhan Asylum]

Office Max was the first place to ever tell me they needed that.  I don't know why they needed it really.  Stoners are the best workers office max could ask for. 

I'm glad I never bothered to work at Office Max though.  it would have ruined my junior year of high school's summer break. 

Hospitals require it, but only if they "suspect" that you are huffin glue and snorting coke.

fast food doesn't, probably because they assume you're high if you're applying.

[nat]

The theater was the only job I had as a youngster that required a drug test. I purposely avoided jobs like that for a long time because I believed it was an infringement on my personal rights and personal privacy.

I relaxed from that standpoint somewhere along the way, though, and my current job required one when I was first hired on since I have to operate company vehicles and machinery. I understand why they want one in a case like this, but I can't think of why a movie theatre gives a shit what someone does on their personal time.

[roflmao]

I used to work for a multimedia company who joked that they tested for drugs.  If you didn't fail the test, you didn't get hired.  There was often beer in the office fridge and other "substances" available in other offices of the building.  It was a crazy place to work.

[bartre]

heh, yeah, the place i was working at this time last year had something like that, bong in the backroom fridge.
I swear, i was the only person ever to work there who didn't smoke pot every day.

[CrackTiger]

Cineplex Odeon (do they still exist?).

Mainly in Canada.

I'm reading this thread for the first time, while sitting in a Cineplex Odeon, waiting for the movie to begin.

[Joe Redifer]

In Canada?

[nat]

He's in Canada, yeah. Right on the other side of the border. If he lives where I think he does, I drive through his town once or twice a month on my way to jobs. Would you believe there's a part of Washington state that is ONLY ACCESSIBLE by travel through Canada? It's a little peninsula of land that can't be more than 5 miles square. It's completely and utterly ridiculous. I don't understand why we haven't given this piece of land to Canada as a gift. It means on days where I have a job there, I have to cross international borders four times. In one day. FOUR TIMES. Every time they ask me if I'm bringing weapons into Canada. I'm tempted to say "yes," so they won't let me in and I won't have to deal with going there any more.

[Joe Redifer]

What is your job?  Traveling salesman?  Cable installer? Best Buy Geek Squad?  Microsoft Outlook E-mail Deleter?

[nat]

Weapons salesman, obviously.












Actually, I do IT work for the evil major oil companies. Sort of like the Geek Squad, except for gas stations. When their fuel servers crash, need software or hardware upgrades, routine maintenance, or even new fuel systems installs, I'm the man on the scene.

I've been especially busy the past two or so years since the Payment Card Industry (PCI) mandated new triple-encryption requirements on all credit and debit card data transmitted over a network. Any site server or fuel controller (cash register) made prior to 2008 didn't support this triple-encryption scheme which meant that every station across America had to replace any in-store computer equipment that handled the processing of card data. The deadline was initially July 2010 but it was pushed back to December 31, 2011. As of January 1, 2012 all corporate and vested sites will have been upgraded and any privately owned sites that have NOT upgraded will be penalized $500 a month for a certain number of months, after which if they still have not upgraded, will be debranded and unable to accept credit or debit cards until the situation is addressed.

We've already seen a number of privately owned sites shut down permanently as a result of this, being unable to afford the new equipment, which can run anywhere from $12,000-$25,000 for a single site depending on specific requirements (number of cash register terminals, primarily). I have a feeling as 2012 progresses we'll see a great deal more of these independents shut down as the credit networks kick them off for noncompliance.

[Joe Redifer]

I guess that explains a few of the odd gas station closures I've seen over the past year or so (and nobody is willing to take over the station).  Kind of like the movie industry needing to "upgrade" from film to digital.  Not cheap at all.  True, you no longer need a dedicated projectionist, but those things can cost $50,000 or more per screen.  But then there are virtual print fees and it would probably be really boring to read about if I explained it all.  Film prints will probably be completely gone by the beginning of 2013.

Also, the gas station down the street sometimes gets a bit wonky with my grocery store card which saves me 10 cents a gallon on gas.  I need this fixed by next Wednesday, please.  You might as well start driving now.

[nat]

Is it a Shell station? Shell is actually our primary contract. In our market, Kroger/QFC/Fred Meyer cards will get you 10 cents off per gallon at all Shell sites.

There is a known bug with a certain version of the Shell software released earlier this year that causes issues with the grocery store cards and the fuel discounting. If it is, in fact, a Shell site they just need to upgrade their servers and fuel controller to the latest software version. If it's a corporate or vested site the upgrade should have already happened, but if it's a dealer or franchise location they might be dragging their feet since the bugfix costs the franchisee or owner money and about 5 hours of downtime, but it isn't a required upgrade.

Shell is the only major player in our market that offers the 10 cent off/per gal discount with grocery store cards right now, so if it isn't a Shell site, I'm not sure what to tell you. Just make sure you complain!

I guess that explains a few of the odd gas station closures I've seen over the past year or so (and nobody is willing to take over the station). 

Buying a gas station anymore would be a losing venture, unless you are a major oil. You'd have to be a fool to buy one. The days of privately owned stations are almost completely behind us. I would predict within the next five years (possibly much sooner) there will be no more independents left in the country. Costco & the grocery stores have more or less monopolized the fuel industry and it is virtually IMPOSSIBLE for an independently owned site to profit. Only corporately-owned major oil sites like Shell/Chevron/Texaco can survive as they have the financial backing of the oil company to pay for the mandated upgrades and miscellaneous expenses. The larger franchises will endure as well because they usually do enough volume via a large number of locations to profit overall, even with many sites in the red. But buying a single gas station with the hopes of starting a profitable business.... Shit, you're basically signing an agreement to give away money on a daily basis.

[esteban]

I actually found the discussion of gas stations profitability vs. technical infrastructure to be rather interesting.

As Joe mentioned, I was wondering about the rash of gas station closures. I simply attributed them to the general economic woes following the collapse of the real estate market.

I have been fortunate not to have been fired from any jobs. I've never had a really horrible job, either, which I am grateful for. Sure, my soul was sucked away for a few hours a day, but it was never too bad.

The worst times for me, though, were when I was underemployed in graduate school. I was too busy with school to get a real job, but the teaching/research positions via the university didn't pay enough or offer enough hours. I never wanted to take out any loans but I was forced to in the end. 

Oh, did I mention that when I was in high school (work study) I worked at a prominent pharmaceutical research lab with rabbits/rats/mice. My friend worked in a lab with canines.

There were days when that job was rough because we has to document everything (I used the earliest digital cameras...they were so expensive and cabled directly to PC's), including the worsening wounds of the animals.

I had to SHAVE a patch of fur off the animals on a weekly basis (topical skin tests)...we had plexiglass chamber that I would fill with CO2 when, you know...

Anyway, it was actually a very interesting experience, but I don't want to describe what we did after gassing the animals.

[Joe Redifer]

Nat, yes it is a Shell and the grocery store card is Kroger (though they call it King Soopers here, doesn't that sound awesome?)  The station was taken over by Circle K a year or so ago, though the Shell logo and Shell verbiage remain everywhere.

By the way, one of my least favorite jobs was as a game tester.  Boring as hell.  Tested some Operation Flashpoint game as well as something called SRS Racing, I do believe.  They let everyone go because there were no clients after that.

[guyjin]

The only employer I've ever had to pee for is Wally world. Figure that one out.

[rag-time4]

Nat, yes it is a Shell and the grocery store card is Kroger (though they call it King Soopers here, doesn't that sound awesome?)

Hey isnt king soop a member here??

[Arkhan Asylum]

.we had plexiglass chamber that I would fill with CO2 when, you know...

good thing the place did it the humane way.

totally.

I would've let them all loose and torched the place.

[blueraven]

Haha, thanks everyone for sharing your pain. Keep it going!

Interesting story esteban. If you don't mind me asking are you a vegetarian? I've found an interesting trend among friends and acquaintances of mine that if they've worked in animal research labs, or specifically anything with eyes and eyebrows, they usually end up becoming vegetarians/vegans. If this is the case did this arise out of ethical conviction or was it coincidental? I'm assuming the former.

The theater was the only job I had as a youngster that required a drug test.

When you told this story I fell out laughing simply because of the ridiculous lengths you went to get that job. That by far takes the taco for me. When I was younger I had the same school of thought, but I was lucky because the plethora of work in my area and I never actually had to jump through hoops like that to get a job. I worked for the same auto parts store for like 6 years, through the end of high school and the beginning of community college, and after dropping out the first time. There were virtually no preconditions for employment there, and my friend managed the place for over a decade, so it was essentially "Hey do you need work man?" every time I went in to get brake pads or an O2 sensor or whatever for the jalopy I was driving.

I ended up working at Champion Auto until they were sold to the hardware store next door (probably 2003) and switched over by a different company, and all of teh "old ways" of doing things were phased out over the course of about 2 years. They waited for the manager to quit, sold all of the machine shop equipment, and stopped doing service all together. A mentally retarded employee was hired to do the stocking and was probably the coolest person there after the manager left. My co-worker got reprimanded and fired for making a bong out of break parts and PVC tubing that they found in the back room. Bonuses went away. One of my other co-workers was stabbed and the cashier was in on it, and she's doing 20-life in state prison. The local "NASCAR" chapter thingy stopped doing events at our store, and the reps stopped giving us free stuff to play with. Now If I walk in there the employees look at me suspiciously, as I know where everything is, and know the protocol for checkout and remember the item codes from memory. I usually just ask for brake pads.

In hindsight, and despite the bullshit, the job was great while it lasted.

[esteban]

Haha, thanks everyone for sharing your pain. Keep it going!

Interesting story esteban. If you don't mind me asking are you a vegetarian? I've found an interesting trend among friends and acquaintances of mine that if they've worked in animal research labs, or specifically anything with eyes and eyebrows, they usually end up becoming vegetarians/vegans. If this is the case did this arise out of ethical conviction or was it coincidental? I'm assuming the former.

Yes, I did end up becoming a vegetarian. Most of my friends who worked with the animals, though, did not change their diets, per se, but they re-assessed their views on many political issues. I think many people, myself included, realized that we shouldn't be "intellectually/morally lazy" about certain issues. If you care about something, well...put your money where your mouth is. Few became vegetarians, but many became socially/politically conscious. Who could have anticipated this outcome from a science-based work-study program?

In a way, animal research opened all of our minds to what happens in the "real world", since we were sheltered, privileged high school kids.

Throughout high school I had been reading zines and listening to music that addressed many social/political issues, which, I see now, prepared me for vegetarianism. So, I had been heading down the path for a few years, but my job in the lab gave me the final, definitive push.

The sad truth, though, is that it is easier for me to be a vegetarian (eliminate meat from diet), than it is for me to cut out potato chips (what? limit my intake of fatty salt carbs? HELL NO!).

The same goes for SLEEP... I know it is not healthy to be sleep-deprived, but there's no way I'm going to sleep at 10:00 pm.



/TANGENT

[PCEngineHell]

To be honest, I have never been fired from any job. Quit a few, thats about it.