super cheesiest game advertisements ever!!

Tatsujin · 02/19/2007, 06:19 AM

if this isn't something very interesting for keanu i would eat a broom, stick included

http://www.defunctgames.com/image.php?page=1

especially this one. my fav:

Tatsujin · 02/19/2007, 12:22 PM

and don't forget to read the even more intressting articles which comes with ever advers?

QuoteDUDE! I think that guy has had enough! Look, I'm all for outrageous violence in my advertising, but somebody needs to explain just what the hell is going on here! For example, right under the picture it says "move over master, a new champion is kicking in," yet the
Click here to make larger!picture clearly shows the "Master" being punched ... hard. Which brings up another good question, just how hard to you have to punch somebody to where the side of their face explodes in a shower of blood? It's not coming from his mouth, it's clear that the damage has happened in a location you probably don't want blood coming from.

The advertisement continues, "This exciting action adventure game recreates the fury and explosiveness of international boxing. In this game they take no prisoners." Well, I guess that explains what is happening to the side of his face, but still don't understand why they would take prisoners in the first place. And why is that well dressed man so angry with the surfer? Can't we all just get along?

Where the advertisement falls down is when it starts talking about the graphics. "This exciting video battle feature dimensional screens, high quality graphics, special sound and video effects and challenging game play." Phew, that's quite a mouthful. But what exactly do they mean by Exciting video battle? And what is a dimensional screen? Is special sound better than what we're used to? Of course, none of these questions can be answered because instead of giving us screen shots they use artist renditions of what the action "might" look like. That's right, they use drawings to illustrate just how good this game is going to look. Unfortunately the drawings are laughably bad and will leave no doubt in your head to why you've never heard of this game!

esteban · 02/19/2007, 04:10 PM

Yeah, I've seen this section of the site in question. Lots of funny ads in there. If my memory serves, there is a really funny one about a Bomberman game... but the ad has some fake punk-rock cartoon kid in it? Hudson advertising at its finest! I'm too lazy to find it now... but I promise it's worth finding.

Keranu · 02/19/2007, 11:24 PM

Thanks so much for the link, I absolutely love it! This is probably my favorite on that page:

God that looks so cool!

Also I found this to be very interesting:

Could this be the only non-Japanese woman cosplaying as Yuko!?

Joe Redifer · 02/19/2007, 11:33 PM

And what a fantastic choice of costume and model that was. Renovation's ad budget must have been $5. I always hated that ad. And look at Yuko's sword in the game. It's cut and pasted onto the game screen!

TR0N · 02/19/2007, 11:44 PM

We all know the weanie add and the add for cyberlip on the neogeo.

Still how about this one!

Btw i still have the flyer for this add

Joe Redifer · 02/19/2007, 11:47 PM

Wow. 24 bits. Just like the Genesis!

Anyway, too bad that site only has single-page ads. There have been a lot of super cheesy double page ads, like the one for Virtua Tennis (I think) on Dreamcast which showed a bunch of naked old guys scratching their ass in a locker room. I should find it because I know you guys want to see!!!

esteban · 02/20/2007, 08:59 AM

Quote from: Joe Redifer on 02/19/2007, 11:47 PMWow. 24 bits. Just like the Genesis!

Anyway, too bad that site only has single-page ads. There have been a lot of super cheesy double page ads, like the one for Virtua Tennis (I think) on Dreamcast which showed a bunch of naked old guys scratching their ass in a locker room. I should find it because I know you guys want to see!!!

Dude, I really want to see it

.

GUTS · 02/20/2007, 11:01 PM

I remember that ad, Sega got shit for that because kids didn't want to see old man ass in their video game magazine. I was like, try going to a fucking gym once in a while you fat fucks, you'll quickly get numb to the sight of naked old men.

Dark Fact · 02/27/2007, 03:42 PM

Boy did I see plenty of these ads back in my day. Since gaming at the time was still a niche medium, advertisers could fuck around as much as they wanted to with the ads. If advertisers tried to do the same thing today, they'd be thrown out on their ass. The popularity of video gaming has changed a lot from the past decade.

And what the hell was up with that Deadly Moves ad? They should've fired the idiot who made that. Talk about insulting people's intelligence.

10/31/2023: Localization News - Dead of the Brain 1!

super cheesiest game advertisements ever!!