Top Ten Worst Consoles of All Time

Seldane · 05/21/2007, 10:26 AM

http://www.gametrailers.com/player.php?type=wmv&id=19205

A fun video. Definitely true too, I just wish the CD-i would've been in first place.

Nazi NecroPhile · 05/21/2007, 11:52 AM

Muwahahahaha! The R-Zone "made the Virtual Boy look like a Playstation 7".

Nice list, but I think that the Nuon deserves a spot more than the 3DO. Sure the 3DO was insanely expensive, but at least it had quite a few good games. They say that it was trounced by the Playstation, but you'd hope that something released nearly two years later would be better and cheaper. The 3DO was too expensive to compete with the 16 bitters, and it was released too early to compete with the 32 bitters. If high price alone is enough to make their list, they should have added the Laseractive.

Now what does Seldane wish? Come on man, finish your damn thought!

offsidewing · 05/21/2007, 01:04 PM

I can't really see any fault with the 3D0 except for the price. Return Fire is simply one of the funnest games ever made. It's on my top 10. The PSX version had different maps and looked a tad underdone graphics-wise. Also, The 3D0 also had, at the time, one of the best looking Super Ludacris Side Street Fighter Twin Turbo II Champion Dash Editions. Star Control also rocked.

There was on bad thing: Goldstar or Panasonic?

Seldane · 05/21/2007, 01:24 PM

My wish is stated in the first post, it was just hidden so I wouldn't spoil the video for you guys. Highlight the text to read it (or look closely).

By the way, what is Nuon? I've read the name on here a few times, but I've never heard of it elsewhere.

Nazi NecroPhile · 05/21/2007, 02:04 PM

Tee-Hee, you got me Seldane!

The Nuon was an attempt to turn a DVD player into a gaming console. It was somewhat powerful and could produce roughly Playstation level graphics, but this was after release of the Dreamcast and shortly before the PS2. Not too surprisingly, it didn't receive much support from software developers (eight games and only four movies with Nuon content).

offsidewing · 05/21/2007, 02:33 PM

Isn't there some Panasonic/Gamecube thing??

Again, it was one of those "I heard in Japan, they have this..." type things.

Joe Redifer · 05/21/2007, 04:20 PM

I don't think the Phantom should even be considered since it was never released. That right there disqualifies it. And can the 32X/Sega CD really be counted as consoles? I don't really think so. If they can, then they could also count the Arcade Card for the PC Engine which had far fewer good games than the Sega CD. Where is the Amiga CD-32? Or perhaps the Lynx?

Seldane · 05/21/2007, 05:23 PM

I've always counted both the Mega-CD and the 32X as seperate consoles.

Nazi NecroPhile · 05/21/2007, 05:45 PM

Quote from: offsidewing on 05/21/2007, 02:33 PMIsn't there some Panasonic/Gamecube thing??

Again, it was one of those "I heard in Japan, they have this..." type things.

The Panasonic Gamecube Q was produced under license from Nintendo and played Gamecube games (obviously) as well as audio CDs and DVDs. When the big N inked the deal with Matsushita (Panasonic) to supply the optical drives for the 'cubes, Panny was given the right to make their own 'enhanced' version.

Quote from: Seldane on 05/21/2007, 05:23 PMI've always counted both the Mega-CD and the 32X as seperate consoles.

In my addled mind, the Sega CD is kinda in a gray area between new console and add on. It's not really a next generation leap over the Genesis (similar to the SuperGrafx's small improvement on the PC Engine or the FX chip for SNES games), but it does more than simply add CD storage capacity like the PCE CD or memory like the Arcade Card. The 32x added quite a bit to the Genesis and has to be counted as a separate console. Distinct console or peripheral - either way it was a piece of shit.

Seldane · 05/21/2007, 05:59 PM

Quote from: guest on 05/21/2007, 05:45 PMDistinct console or peripheral - either way it was a piece of shit.

Amen to that.

Joe Redifer · 05/21/2007, 08:49 PM

But you're required to have a Genesis for it to run. So it still falls into the peripheral category no matter how much it does for the system.

guyjin · 05/21/2007, 09:05 PM

My thoughts:

First of all, you can't bash a console that doesn't exist. And you especially can't put it ahead of consoles that do exist and have good games (Sega CD/32X/3D0).
Second, 3 of the systems mentioned (did they intend R-zone and Game.com to share one spot?) were portables. portables are not consoles.

Third, While I have never played a gizmondo, there is no way that it can be worse than CD-i. just cannot be.

Tatsujin · 05/21/2007, 09:43 PM

totally agree with guyjin. this list is a pure joke which i can't take seriously. nobody should. it's a shame for the time they spent on that report. as well as for our time who watched that crap.

OldRover · 05/21/2007, 11:56 PM

I think the list was pretty spot-on.

TR0N · 05/22/2007, 12:13 AM

Quote from: OldRover on 05/21/2007, 11:56 PMI think the list was pretty spot-on.

Agreed, expect for the sega-cd etc since i see it as a add on and not a console.

OldRover · 05/22/2007, 12:35 AM

Yeah, the Sega CD one could go both ways I guess. I guess you could call it a hybrid console. Although, there are quite a few Sega CD games I enjoy...Dark Wizard, Lunar TSS, Vay...games that were either never seen again or later ported in horrible ways (like Lunar...UGH, YOU BASTARDS SHOULD HAVE LEFT IT ALONE, IT WAS PERFECT AND YOU FUCKED IT UP!).

MrFulci · 05/22/2007, 12:46 AM

Nice to see the 5200 controllers featured. They really were pretty easy to break.

The Sega CD wasn't as bad as the video make sit out to be. It just didn't have a good price-point and enough software out there for it to really catch on. It would have been nice if there has been more support behind it, and the hardware had a lower price earlier on.

32X I can't defend.

GUTS · 05/22/2007, 02:18 AM

Anybody who thinks the Sega CD should be on a top "worst consoles" list is a complete fucktard and should never have anything else they say taken seriously for as long as they live.

Seldane · 05/22/2007, 06:32 AM

Quote from: Tron on 05/22/2007, 12:13 AM
Quote from: OldRover on 05/21/2007, 11:56 PMI think the list was pretty spot-on.
Agreed, expect for the sega-cd etc since i see it as a add on and not a console.

What everybody means when they say "bad console" is actually the software library available for said console. Ignore the hardware, it's all about the games. The Mega-CD game library sucks, and therefore it is on this list. While there are a handful of Mega-CD games worth playing, it does qualify for this list.

Joe Redifer · 05/22/2007, 02:17 PM

Nope. You are wrong.

Keranu · 05/22/2007, 03:37 PM

Yes. He is way wrong.

Sega CD kicks ass!

guyjin · 05/22/2007, 04:17 PM

Quote from: Seldane on 05/22/2007, 06:32 AMWhat everybody means when they say "bad console" is actually the software library available for said console.

Not always. In the case of the 5200 and N64, the controller is sometimes the culprit.

offsidewing · 05/22/2007, 05:12 PM

Quote from: GUTS on 05/22/2007, 02:18 AMAnybody who thinks the Sega CD should be on a top "worst consoles" list is a complete fucktard and should never have anything else they say taken seriously for as long as they live.

This stipulation was on my scholarship memorandum at Harvard.

Seldane · 05/22/2007, 05:28 PM

Mega-CD is a cool system to be sure, but it lacks playable games.

Hobo Xiphas · 05/22/2007, 05:40 PM

Quite frankly, just having an English translated version of Snatcher for the console/add-on makes Sega CD not suck.

Keranu · 05/22/2007, 05:48 PM

Quote from: Seldane on 05/22/2007, 05:28 PMMega-CD is a cool system to be sure, but it lacks playable games.

What makes a game like Lunar unplayable

? It plays just as well as any RPG.

Joe Redifer · 05/22/2007, 05:56 PM

Lunar 2 is even more playable! Oh! And Soul Star is neat along with the driving portions of Batman Returns. Road Avenger, despite being FMV, is pure awesomeness just due to the insanity it offers... driving up the stairs of a hotel and destroying at least 3 helicopters throughout the course of the game with your car!

Keranu · 05/22/2007, 05:59 PM

Plus Sega CD has the best game ever made - SEWER SHARK!

Ultra Luigi · 05/22/2007, 08:35 PM

I still love my Virtual Boy. Headaches or not, it had some great games.

I never knew the 3DO was 700 when it first came out. I was shocked as well when they mentioned that Return Fire is considered one of the best games for it. That's one of the few games I have for it, but I just picked it all up at a flea market about a year ago. I guess I should check it out.

PCEngineHell · 05/22/2007, 08:53 PM

Quote from: Joe Redifer on 05/22/2007, 05:56 PMLunar 2 is even more playable! Oh! And Soul Star is neat along with the driving portions of Batman Returns. Road Avenger, despite being FMV, is pure awesomeness just due to the insanity it offers... driving up the stairs of a hotel and destroying at least 3 helicopters throughout the course of the game with your car!

I love the horrible music during the intro to Road Avenger. The guy sounds horribly drunk. That game is just great,one of the best handling FMV games,at times does not even feel like one,because it tends to have you interact with the controls so much.

TR0N · 05/22/2007, 09:43 PM

Quote from: Keranu on 05/22/2007, 05:59 PMPlus Sega CD has the best game ever made - SEWER SHARK!

Tisk tisk there go's your street cred for giving props to sewer shark.

All kidding aside i never liked sewer shark

The game drove my crazy plus i see it as the worst pack-in game ever.

offsidewing · 05/22/2007, 11:30 PM

Quote from: Ultra Luigi on 05/22/2007, 08:35 PMI still love my Virtual Boy. Headaches or not, it had some great games.

I never knew the 3DO was 700 when it first came out. I was shocked as well when they mentioned that Return Fire is considered one of the best games for it. That's one of the few games I have for it, but I just picked it all up at a flea market about a year ago. I guess I should check it out.

Grab a buddy and play some Return Fire on the 3D0.

Games everyone should play:

Invisible Tank Pong - COMBAT(Atari 2600)
Goldeneye (N64)
Ys Book I & II (duh)
Metal Gear Solid (PSX)
and
Return Fire (3D0) - Vs mode is tops.

GUTS · 05/23/2007, 12:14 AM

Road Avenger is the best FMV game ever made. The first time I played it I was tapping directions like Dragon's Lair and I kept dying, but once I figured out I had to hold them as though I was actually controlling the car I couldn't believe how awesome the game was. Man that game rules, and the Sega CD version is the best because it has the kickass intro song that for some reason no other version has.

Keranu · 05/23/2007, 01:36 AM

I must play this Road Avenger.

Actually that Interstellar LASER Fantasy still has to be the best FMV game ever made and best game period. Someday I will finally play that beautiful game.

PCEngineHell · 05/23/2007, 09:09 AM

Man your really missing out having not played Road Avenger. I love how the whole game has the Mad Max feel in it,with the car looking like a red V8 Interceptor,you wanting to kill a street gang after they kill your wife,similar to what happened in Mad Max,and the obvious look of you character if you make it to the last scene,he even looks alot like Max. Still think its funny the first car you kill off is a Fairlady Z,a popular car at the time this game was released in the arcade on LD back in the early 80ies.

http://justgamesretro.com/SEGACD/roadavenger.html

Seldane · 05/23/2007, 09:34 AM

I used to play Return Fire (for PC) with a friend. It was fun, but the music sucked.

offsidewing · 05/23/2007, 11:07 AM

Quote from: Seldane on 05/23/2007, 09:34 AMI used to play Return Fire (for PC) with a friend. It was fun, but the music sucked.

3D0 is where the money's at. I don't know about the PC, but the 3D0 version had some aptly associated classical tunes. Name me one other video game where you get to go tear-assing around Nam, er a map, in a Helicopter while 'Ride of the Valkyrie' is blaring along.

"Flight of the bumble bee" to accompany your "holy crap this thing is fast" dash in a Willys Jeep.

"In the hall of the mountain King" when laying waste to the enemy's fortification with a tank.

I've got goosebumps now!

guyjin · 05/23/2007, 12:15 PM

Ooo, didn't know that return fire had classical music... The only games I can remember that had classical music in them were Gyruss and Tetris. What other games do you know of that have classical music in them?

Nazi NecroPhile · 05/23/2007, 02:35 PM

Quote from: guyjin on 05/23/2007, 12:15 PMOoo, didn't know that return fire had classical music... The only games I can remember that had classical music in them were Gyruss and Tetris. What other games do you know of that have classical music in them?

I'll stick an obvious one in here - Loom.

offsidewing · 05/23/2007, 02:55 PM

Quote from: guyjin on 05/23/2007, 12:15 PMOoo, didn't know that return fire had classical music... The only games I can remember that had classical music in them were Gyruss and Tetris. What other games do you know of that have classical music in them?

Off hand I can't remember any others, although I'm sure there are others besides the terd biscuit Lucas Arts gave to the Turbo.

I'll probably remember ten others in a couple minutes...

I LOVE THE SMELL OF NAPALM IN THE MORNING. THAT GASOLINE SMELL... IT SMELLS LIKE, LIKE VICTORY.

CrackTiger · 05/23/2007, 07:35 PM

Quote from: guyjin on 05/23/2007, 12:15 PMOoo, didn't know that return fire had classical music... The only games I can remember that had classical music in them were Gyruss and Tetris. What other games do you know of that have classical music in them?

Parodius

Neo Nectaris

CrackTiger · 05/23/2007, 07:43 PM

Quote from: GUTS on 05/22/2007, 02:18 AMAnybody who thinks the Sega CD should be on a top "worst consoles" list is a complete fucktard and should never have anything else they say taken seriously for as long as they live.

Although I don't count the Sega-CD as a unique console, I think its reasonable to count the 32X as one. They were even going to release it as a stand alone console. It would've had Genesis guts inside of it, but the Genesis also had SMS guts inside of it.

As for Sega-CD software, even if you only count North American games, the Sega-CD has a better library of games I like than some mainstream/successful consoles. Anyone truly familiar with the Sega-CD catalogue should consider it equal to or greater than the N64 library, no matter how jaded they might be.

Keranu · 05/23/2007, 08:52 PM

Quote from: guest on 05/23/2007, 07:43 PMAs for Sega-CD software, even if you only count North American games, the Sega-CD has a better library of games I like than some mainstream/successful consoles. Anyone truly familiar with the Sega-CD catalogue should consider it equal to or greater than the N64 library, no matter how jaded they might be.

Yeah, if we were to judge consoles for the amount of bad games they had, then popular consoles like the Playstation would be clear winners just because of all the crappy licensed games alone.

CrackTiger · 05/23/2007, 09:51 PM

Quote from: Keranu on 05/23/2007, 08:52 PM
Quote from: CrackTiger on 05/23/2007, 07:43 PMAs for Sega-CD software, even if you only count North American games, the Sega-CD has a better library of games I like than some mainstream/successful consoles. Anyone truly familiar with the Sega-CD catalogue should consider it equal to or greater than the N64 library, no matter how jaded they might be.
Yeah, if we were to judge consoles for the amount of bad games they had, then popular consoles like the Playstation would be clear winners just because of all the crappy licensed games alone.

I'm fine with tons of garbage games, all I care about is having enough enjoyable games for a console.

Off the top of my head, the PC-FX is the only console I can think of that I haven't found much to like game-wise so far.

guyjin · 05/23/2007, 11:49 PM

Me, I can't stand systems that have tons of games that are mostly garbage. I want to be able to pick up a random game off the shelf and have the chances be good that it will be enjoyable.

This is not the case with systems like the CD-i, 2600, and everything that has ever carried the 'playstation' name. therefore I hate them. (except for the 2600, because the games are so cheap by now the quality to quantity ratio is irrelevant.

GUTS · 05/23/2007, 11:55 PM

Playstation 2 has probably the greatest library of games of all time, how can you hate the PS2? By that logic you must absolutely loathe the N64, Gamecube and Wii.

Keranu · 05/23/2007, 11:59 PM

We were saying how popular systems like Playstation have tons of licensed games, which are usually crap. Therefore it's not fair to judge a system by the amount of bad games it has.

offsidewing · 05/24/2007, 12:50 AM

Quote from: Keranu on 05/23/2007, 11:59 PMWe were saying how popular systems like Playstation have tons of licensed games, which are usually crap. Therefore it's not fair to judge a system by the amount of bad games it has.

I fucking hate rationalizing, but he's got a point. More kids die each year playing little league baseball than guys drowning while King Crabbing in Alaska. Which is most likely to kill you?

Hobo Xiphas · 05/24/2007, 03:10 AM

Soccer

But seriously, the PS2 has a great library if you have the skill to seperate the wheat from the chaff.

Seldane · 05/24/2007, 04:30 AM

Quote from: Keranu on 05/23/2007, 11:59 PMWe were saying how popular systems like Playstation have tons of licensed games, which are usually crap. Therefore it's not fair to judge a system by the amount of bad games it has.

Who cares about that? You only play the good games. 95% of the game library always sucks, regardless of console, and when the game library consists of 100 games (Mega-CD) or 5000 games (PS2), I'd say the PS2 is sliiiiiiiightly better.