Worst US TG16 game

[hizaygizirlz]

I voted for Ballistix a long while back, but heve never commented b/c I hadn't played all of the games in the poll.

Well Ballistix is pretty bad I think if I would have bought it when i was little as a back of the box purchase (which never would have happened) or someone would have given it to me as a present I probably would have played it and cried.  I can't say anything nice about this game.

However.....

Today I finally played Gunboat for the first time.....

I like the title screen music I wish I would have stopped there.  No wonder it is still so easy to find a new copy.

So it has to be between those two IMO.

All the other games are pretty terrible as well F's or D's on an A-F grading scale with the following exceptions.

 I never really gave Falcon a chance or played Impossimole so I don't know about those 2.

Falcon is the current leader so it is possible Ballistix/Falcon/Gunboat are the US holy trinity of awful.

I don't think Ghost Manor(0 votes) or China Warrior are bad enough to be part of the poll.  They have their flaws, but still bring some enjoyment. 

Just my 2 cents

[jlued686]

Ghost Manor's not the worst game, but holy shit do I ever hate it. I tried so hard to squeeze some enjoyment out of it, but the Chutes n' Ladders style of platforming is just so infuriating.

[CrackTiger]

Ghost Manor's not the worst game, but holy shit do I ever hate it. I tried so hard to squeeze some enjoyment out of it, but the Chutes n' Ladders style of platforming is just so infuriating.

It's Wizards & Warriors with a lame branding.

[khog143]

I went with Failcon.  Turrible

[esteban]

Ghost Manor's not the worst game, but holy shit do I ever hate it. I tried so hard to squeeze some enjoyment out of it, but the Chutes n' Ladders style of platforming is just so infuriating.

It's Wizards & Warriors with a lame branding.

Absolutely... except the whole "horror" thing could have worked. I honestly believe that.




Falcon and Gunboat often get derided because they are born of a genre that never appealed to mainstream console audiences to begin with! Sure, folks enjoyed this sort of game on the computer, but they had a very small audience on consoles...which is why I wish TTi never bothered with them.

Given time and an open mind, I think Falcon and Gunboat can bring a modicum of happiness to some folks. Personally, I have not wanted to invest the time/energy into these titles.

On the other hand, BALLISTIX WILL NEVER PROVIDE ANY JOY. EVER.

[geise]

I love Ballistix on the Amiga, ST, and TG-16. 

[DragonmasterDan]

Ghost Manor's not the worst game, but holy shit do I ever hate it.

Replace Ghost Manor with Night Creatures and you've summed up my thoughts.

[Tatsujin]

I would love me to play some ghoast manour right nao

[reno5]

Hard to admit but I finished Ghost Manor as a kid when games needed to be played trough since you didn't had any money to buy others

All i remember is how easy it was to fall down the falls and how much i wanted to throw the controller !

[jlued686]

I'm actually impressed that you managed to finish that game! By the time I get through stage 2, I'm ready to hang myself.

[esteban]

Hard to admit but I finished Ghost Manor as a kid when games needed to be played trough since you didn't had any money to buy others

All i remember is how easy it was to fall down the falls and how much i wanted to throw the controller !

Yes, having little/no money helped me appreciate games that otherwise would have been abandoned   .

I have retained this mindset ("squeeze some fun from a rock"), even though I'm not as desperate these days. I can't abandon any of my children, no matter how deformed they may be.

I'm actually impressed that you managed to finish that game! By the time I get through stage 2, I'm ready to hang myself.

I'm with jlued: anyone who finishes Ghost Manor gets respect (and a hug).

[meka]

I voted China Warrior, it looks and plays horribly

[DragonmasterDan]

I voted China Warrior, it looks and plays horribly

Ark will love this post

[esteban]

I love Ballistix on the Amiga, ST, and TG-16.   

I meant to follow up on this yesterday!

Please share your thoughts on Ballistix (anything really). Even a bullet list with your random thoughts.

I am fascinated by Ballistix (since I think it sucks, but admittedly I have spent very little time with it) and I honestly would love to read/learn about it from someone who's actually played it.

I'm totally serious.

[Obfuscate]

China Warrior is trash, worse on the list of choices. At least some of the other shit games like Night Creatures and Falcon have a good concept. I voted other because Super Volleyball may be the worst game ever produced for any system.

[blueraven]

Falcon is retarted. It makes Hatris and JJ and Jeff look fun.

[majors]

China Warrior is trash

No argument there.

Super Volleyball may be the worst game ever produced for any system.

To each their own. I played SV in the arcade and on the Genny and TG without much distaste. Controls might need getting used to, sort of like AP Kick Boxing, but it's not garbage IMO. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather play Power Golf over Super Volleyball, but on the other hand, I'd would play SV over Falcon and Gunboat.

Did it scar you in your early life? Or did the obscene amount of NBC coverage to volleyball turn you off to it?

[VestCunt]

All you China Warrior naysayers need to go play some other games from '87-89 for a couple of hours and try it again. Remember that kids were happily playing middle-of-the-road games like Karnov and Magmax and SMS Black Belt for hours on end. Is CW on par with all-time classics like Mega Man, Punch Out, and Contra? No, but it's no Back to the Future or Friday the 13th either. Compared to its contemporaries, China Warrior holds its own even if you ignore the superior graphics. CW is unpopular is because nobody knows what to make of a weird rhythm game/beat-'em-up, not because it's a bad game.

To each their own. I played [Super Volleyball] in the arcade and on the Genny and TG without much distaste. Controls might need getting used to, sort of like AP Kick Boxing, but it's not garbage IMO.

Wow. I didn't know we had a member that liked SV, let alone an expert in all three versions! I've made a couple of serious attempts to play/enjoy that game, with little success.

[Mathius]

All you China Warrior naysayers need to go play some other games from '87-89 for a couple of hours and try it again. Remember that kids were happily playing middle-of-the-road games like Karnov and Magmax and SMS Black Belt for hours on end. Is CW on par with all-time classics like Mega Man, Punch Out, and Contra? No, but it's no Back to the Future or Friday the 13th either. Compared to its contemporaries, China Warrior holds its own even if you ignore the superior graphics. CW is unpopular is because nobody knows what to make of a weird rhythm game/beat-'em-up, not because it's a bad game.

To each their own. I played [Super Volleyball] in the arcade and on the Genny and TG without much distaste. Controls might need getting used to, sort of like AP Kick Boxing, but it's not garbage IMO.

Wow. I didn't know we had a member that liked SV, let alone an expert in all three versions! I've made a couple of serious attempts to play/enjoy that game, with little success.

Majors will continue to impress everyone with his gaming prowess.

[Mobius]

Falcon is not just bad, it's unplayable.  What a turd.

[Xray]

I liked Falcon, back in the day.
If you were -2 years old when it came out, you really can't wrap your head around how much of an improvement it was, at the time, over pong and space invaders. I'm a life long military aviation nut, it was one of the first games to tackle the complex subject, and did fairly well, considering the state of technology when it came out.

[esteban]

I liked Falcon, back in the day.
If you were -2 years old when it came out, you really can't wrap your head around how much of an improvement it was, at the time, over pong and space invaders. I'm a life long military aviation nut, it was one of the first games to tackle the complex subject, and did fairly well, considering the state of technology when it came out.

This is precisely why Ballistix is the worst game .

[esteban]

China Warrior is trash

No argument there.

I have resisted defending China Warrior for this entire thread. Suffice it to say, China Warrior is the BEST game on the list .

Super Volleyball may be the worst game ever produced for any system.

To each their own. I played SV in the arcade and on the Genny and TG without much distaste. Controls might need getting used to, sort of like AP Kick Boxing, but it's not garbage IMO. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather play Power Golf over Super Volleyball, but on the other hand, I'd would play SV over Falcon and Gunboat.

Did it scar you in your early life? Or did the obscene amount of NBC coverage to volleyball turn you off to it?

Hahahahahaha. I've never really played Super Volleyball, but my curiosity is piqued by the passions .


Honest question: have you given Ballistix a whirl? What are your thoughts. Personally, haven't tried to play it for more than a few minutes, so perhaps I'm missing something.

[majors]

Honest question: have you given Ballistix a whirl?

Truth? Nope. Gave it a few minutes here and there (when I forgot what game it was!). Seems like a EUR PC game, prolly had that cool 80's syth-techno on the computer. Memory tells me that it was too fast, but two player might be fun. This week I'll give it a good 30-60 minutes just so I can praise or lambast it in the future.

[Obfuscate]

All you China Warrior naysayers need to go play some other games from '87-89 for a couple of hours and try it again.

I had a SMS and Nintendo before I got my Duo as a kid and still have all my Nintendo stuff and can honestly say every game I own is better than China Warrior. Nintendo Kung Fu is a thousand times more fun. My buddy as a kid that turned me on to the Turbo owned China Warrior and I hated it then also.

As far as Super Volleyball just the single plane, poor action, I just can't stand it. I've given it some tries and it's not fun or well put together at all imo and I typically actually enjoy sports games (especially as a kid). Like I said there are other games as unplayable as SVB but I think they had at least a decent concept. To each their own though.

[esteban]

All you China Warrior naysayers need to go play some other games from '87-89 for a couple of hours and try it again.

I had a SMS and Nintendo before I got my Duo as a kid and still have all my Nintendo stuff and can honestly say every game I own is better than China Warrior. Nintendo Kung Fu is a thousand times more fun. My buddy as a kid that turned me on to the Turbo owned China Warrior and I hated it then also.

As far as Super Volleyball just the single plane, poor action, I just can't stand it. I've given it some tries and it's not fun or well put together at all imo and I typically actually enjoy sports games (especially as a kid). Like I said there are other games as unplayable as SVB but I think they had at least a decent concept. To each their own though.

I've been defending China Warrior for years...

Exhibit A: China Warrior is superior to Kaze Kiri

Exhibit B: Approach China Warrior as a rhythm game

...but I know that some people have a difficult time finding enjoyment in it.

We have also discussed how China Warrior is indebted to Gladiator (another game you will probably loathe  ).

Anyway, suffice it to say, China Warrior is awesome.

[geise]

Hell yeah to China Warrior!  I now would like to change my vote to Takin' it to the Hoop.  One, cause I really hate sports games, and two because Canada is trying to off that shitty title on us as if he's doing us a favor.  

EDIT: Well I'm a dipshit.  That was Bardoly.

[FraGMarE]

China Warrior is a steaming pot of hot ass with dingleberry garnish.

[reno5]

Need to get China Warrior and try it...

[VestCunt]

This is precisely why Ballistix is the worst game .

I have Ballistix sympathies. It has some of that awesome Psygnosis/SotB atmosphere, it's mindless fun (kind of), it translates well to the TE, and it's two player on the TG. Strategy amounts to adjusting turbo switches for ammo conservation and trying to see what the hell the power-ups are before accidentally running over them.

It doesn't have much depth, but it's easy to play and there's no learning curve or introductory hurdles. Anyone can sit down and experience everything Ballistix has to offer in five minutes. The creators and programmers who ported it succeeded in executing the concept.

The only thing that really ruins a game for me is when the play control is absolutely broken (Impossamole, Night Creatures and Energy are good examples; Darkwing and Tailspin are good enough IMO) or when the play control and/or genre is so esoteric that a normal person (i.e. me) can't learn how to play in under an hour (Super Volleyball, Falcon).

[esteban]

CORRECTION: I misspoke earlier. China Warrior, is the second-best game on the list. Why? Well, Timeball (Blodia) SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN INCLUDED. Never. Timeball is such a simple, elegant, fantastic action-puzzle game with splendid (if too few) songs in gloriously warm PSG. If you disagree with any of this, you can suck my left one.

This is precisely why Ballistix is the worst game .

I have Ballistix sympathies. It has some of that awesome Psygnosis/SotB atmosphere, it's mindless fun (kind of), it translates well to the TE, and it's two player on the TG. Strategy amounts to adjusting turbo switches for ammo conservation and trying to see what the hell the power-ups are before accidentally running over them.

It doesn't have much depth, but it's easy to play and there's no learning curve or introductory hurdles. Anyone can sit down and experience everything Ballistix has to offer in five minutes. The creators and programmers who ported it succeeded in executing the concept.

The only thing that really ruins a game for me is when the play control is absolutely broken (Impossamole, Night Creatures and Energy are good examples; Darkwing and Tailspin are good enough IMO) or when the play control and/or genre is so esoteric that a normal person (i.e. me) can't learn how to play in under an hour (Super Volleyball, Falcon).

Broken control is certainly the death knell. However, although I agree with most of your examples, I actually don't find Impossamole to be completely broken (or, I'm a masochist). But, that's not important. We have larger issues to discuss:

Ballistix. I actually haven't played this for more than a few minutes over the past few years...but it seems so bland .

In fact, I don't want to waste another breath on it.

[DragonmasterDan]

Broken control is certainly the death knell. However, although I agree with most of your examples, I actually don't find Impossamole to be completely broken (or, I'm a masochist). But, that's not important. We have larger issues to discuss:

It controls and plays better than Night Creatures. But that's not much of a compliment.

[VestCunt]

Yeah, Impossamole is the best of the three and I like it to some degree. It also has the hard-as-nails challenge thing going on, and some gamers thrive on that.

[esteban]

Broken control is certainly the death knell. However, although I agree with most of your examples, I actually don't find Impossamole to be completely broken (or, I'm a masochist). But, that's not important. We have larger issues to discuss:

It controls and plays better than Night Creatures. But that's not much of a compliment.

I hear you .

Yeah, Impossamole is the best of the three and I like it to some degree. It also has the hard-as-nails challenge thing going on, and some gamers thrive on that.

I just liked seeing the giant (non-animated) final boss in Impossamole. Pretty anti-climatic (unlike, say, the showdown with Jagu at the end of Legendary Axe).

[Magister]

I have seen some video of Gunboat, and I have to say that game looks really bad.  I'm told the controls for Darkwing Duck are what make that game unplayable.  Have to check the other games out on youtube that are on list.

[Alt-Nintega]

No Deep Blue on the list?

horrible

[blueraven]

This is like 5 years old. Yay zombie thread.

I voted for Falcon.

[Magister]

This is like 5 years old. Yay zombie thread.

I voted for Falcon.

Well, I was going to make a thread asking what the worst game was for the TG.  Figured I would do a search first to see if one was already made.  Old thread, but maybe people's views have changed in that time.

[Otaking]

I thought these worst TG16 Hucard polls were quite interesting.

round 1 https://www.pcengine-fx.com/forums/index.php?topic=17753

round 2 https://www.pcengine-fx.com/forums/index.php?topic=17833

round 3 https://www.pcengine-fx.com/forums/index.php?topic=17893

round 4 https://www.pcengine-fx.com/forums/index.php?topic=17933

[blueraven]

This is like 5 years old. Yay zombie thread.

I voted for Falcon.

Well, I was going to make a thread asking what the worst game was for the TG.  Figured I would do a search first to see if one was already made.  Old thread, but maybe people's views have changed in that time.

Fair Enough. Falcon is still horrible, still virtually unplayable, and still my vote.

[esteban]

Worst game: Bravoman.

[turbofan1]

Might be in the minority,I thought Bonk III was A shit game.Mediocre graphics,boring level design,the two player co op is almost unplayable. Definitely A step back from the first two games.

[Dicer]

Might be in the minority,I thought Bonk III was A shit game.Mediocre graphics,boring level design,the two player co op is almost unplayable. Definitely A step back from the first two games.

Bonk def got worse as things wore on, same for poor Zonk...

Also, those shitting on China Warrior, you can all go DIAF.

Darkwing could have been so much more and it's so much less.

[blueraven]

Might be in the minority,I thought Bonk III was A shit game.Mediocre graphics,boring level design,the two player co op is almost unplayable. Definitely A step back from the first two games.

Bonk def got worse as things wore on, same for poor Zonk...

Also, those shitting on China Warrior, you can all go DIAF.

Darkwing could have been so much more and it's so much less.

QFT

Bonk 3 is kind of overrated but it at lest is enjoyable in a playthough.

Yeah China Warrior does not suck even if incredibly frustrating at times. I'm sure that many agree becuase it still comes up a lot.

Darkwing is broken, as is Talespin, and they could have been so much better in so many different ways. But they are still playable to a degree.

Talespin's underwater level is impossibly fucked, for the record. And the Air Hanger level's respawn points make the game unpredictable and frustrating. The controls for Baloo are so damn clunky you might as well just jump into the path of Everything that is thrown at you, and the "duck" function is almost as bad as Tatsunoko fighter, (which is a horrific mess of a game) which i think is one or two pixels.

That said, the game art is pretty awesome, and on the PVM its a sweet looking game. I've had a lot of fun playing it even if i have thrown the controller across the room a few times.

Falcon has the playability of Dragster for the 2600.

[Magister]

It seems clear that I should stay away from Falcon and Gunboat.  Did anyone make a poll for the CD games?

[SignOfZeta]

I've never played it so I have to ask, is the TG-16 version of Falcon particularly shite or do you all just hate flight similators? I ask this because I played a lot of Falcon on a 9" b/w Mac and I thought it was the best flight sim I had yet played (later to be completely eclipsed by Amiga and DOS versions). If the TG version has specific problems then what are they? Don't say that the sprites are tiny and popup only as you are about to smash into them. Don't say it's boring. All flight sims are boring and all the ones from the 80s looked like Falcon 16, often worse.

Darkwing Duck (aka: Cockwing Fuck) is just bad though. It has the one flaw that is unforgivable in platform games: horrendously bad collision. The fact that the art department actually did their job just makes its unplayability even more frustrating. It reminds you of other Disney games on worse systems with worse graphics that are 1000 times better than this POS. At least Night Creatures spares us that bipolar nuttiness. Night Creatures is total wood pulp parfait top to bottom. If you're the one maniac in a million that likes how it looks then you're going to be the one who likes the way it plays as well. 

I don't know why you retards are talking about Bonk and Zonk though. Just...stop it.

[esteban]

I've never played it so I have to ask, is the TG-16 version of Falcon particularly shite or do you all just hate flight similators? I ask this because I played a lot of Falcon on a 9" b/w Mac and I thought it was the best flight sim I had yet played (later to be completely eclipsed by Amiga and DOS versions). If the TG version has specific problems then what are they? Don't say that the sprites are tiny and popup only as you are about to smash into them. Don't say it's boring. All flight sims are boring and all the ones from the 80s looked like Falcon 16, often worse.

Darkwing Duck (aka: Cockwing Fuck) is just bad though. It has the one flaw that is unforgivable in platform games: horrendously bad collision. The fact that the art department actually did their job just makes its unplayability even more frustrating. It reminds you of other Disney games on worse systems with worse graphics that are 1000 times better than this POS. At least Night Creatures spares us that bipolar nuttiness. Night Creatures is total wood pulp parfait top to bottom. If you're the one maniac in a million that likes how it looks then you're going to be the one who likes the way it plays as well. 

I don't know why you retards are talking about Bonk and Zonk though. Just...stop it.

Ha!

I think you read my mind.

I was about to post about how I have no desire to play a flight sim, yet I have some interest in Funboat, despite the fact that it is not far removed from Falcon (slow, plodding simulations).

Funboat > Galcon (IMHO)

As for Night Creatures, I am not bullshitting....the aesthetics are somewhat intriguing to me (since it is a very distinct and uncommon art for a console...maybe some computer games have art like this, but not many console games).

I just wish I could actually play Night Creatures. I just die and die and die.

I tried to figure it out, on my own, but I think that one of these days I'll have to admit defeat and follow CrackTiger's FAQ.

I had a similar experience with TURRICAN. I thought I could figure it out on my own, but after years of flailing around in it (making very little headway), I finally looked at somebody's FAQ/video (nodtveidt/old_rover?)...

[blueraven]

I've never played it so I have to ask, is the TG-16 version of Falcon particularly shite or do you all just hate flight similators? I ask this because I played a lot of Falcon on a 9" b/w Mac and I thought it was the best flight sim I had yet played (later to be completely eclipsed by Amiga and DOS versions). If the TG version has specific problems then what are they? Don't say that the sprites are tiny and popup only as you are about to smash into them. Don't say it's boring. All flight sims are boring and all the ones from the 80s looked like Falcon 16, often worse.

I was impossibly addicted to flight simulators when I was younger, and got so good at X-wing (with the Y-Wing/B-Wing expansion), I could set the controls via keyboard (about 36 keystrokes) in under 15 seconds. I completed 100% of the game. I even had a (MicroProse?) flight stick. There were also a few other 486-66 flight sims I played, F-14 Tomcat, Microsoft Flight Sim 4.0?, Ace Combat, and The Tie Fighter series. There were a few others I pirated got reviewers copies of for educational purposes.

Darkwing Duck (aka: Cockwing Fuck) is just bad though. It has the one flaw that is unforgivable in platform games: horrendously bad collision. The fact that the art department actually did their job just makes its unplayability even more frustrating. It reminds you of other Disney games on worse systems with worse graphics that are 1000 times better than this POS. At least Night Creatures spares us that bipolar nuttiness. Night Creatures is total wood pulp parfait top to bottom. If you're the one maniac in a million that likes how it looks then you're going to be the one who likes the way it plays as well. 

This game I haven't come across yet so I have no opinion of it. The fact that you have such a strong opinion of it kind of confirms my suspicion that it's a Quackshot ripoff.

I don't know why you retards are talking about Bonk and Zonk though. Just...stop it.

It's kind of hard to talk shit about such a flagship game with such an awesome character, but the sequels have been subsequently disappointing imo; Zonk for lack of new content on the CD (im not talking about the soundtrack but the fact that there was pretty much only one game). or a sequel... on any system ever. Bonk for the 3rd game going apeshit in price and the Xbox version dying in mid-development. I relaly like the first two. I don't think that's so much of a critique of the game mechanics but more of how they handled the followup of the franchises.

[NecroPhile]

Darkwing Duck is definitely flawed, but at least it has a very playable easy mode.  It won't help with sliding off platforms (sometimes to your death), but the changes to damage taken/dealt make up for the shoddy hit detection, making it far less frustrating to play.

[Psycho Punch]

Falcon... I have beaten this game twice for some fucked up reason and while it's not unplayable it is boring and is the least impressive 3d game of the Falcon/Gunboat duo. It's amazing how Spectrum Holobyte decided to port it to the Turbografx!

At least Gunboat had kind of "screen filling" 3d porygons and while it lacked some polish (it could have been so much better if it wasn't rushed to market) it handles everything way better than Falcon. In Falcon every 3d model is tiny and you can only view them if you actually fly very, VERY close to ground. Otherwise it's a shitty take on a NES style jet game with the engine struggling to draw a plain ground with occasionally some lines that aren't even fully filled to represent roads and river streams.

You can kinda see that they tried to fit every possible function found on a flight sim on a two button controller (there's even an EJECT button combo!) so they were really trying early in development but the end result is SHIT. Gunboat is also not very enjoyable but it's far more impressive and playable than Falcon.

So for me it's:
1st = FALCON
2nd = Gunboat & Balls in my Face DX (aka Ballistix).

the rest of the Turbo library range from good to mediocre but aren't really as crap as these three games.


Tangent: was a flight stick planned for the Turbo Duo or this is just a slightly confusing way to refer to a possible TTi rebrand of the Turbo Stick that never happened? Dafuq is a Joystick (tm) High Performance Controller?