What's your longest continuous urine stream?

[Joe Redifer]

Timewise, not length.

Usually I can do 1 minute without breaking the stream.  Sometimes it is a minute and a half and I think my record is nearly two minutes.  The best time for this is when you first pee after getting up from sleep.  Make sure to have a wall clock or a watch or something visible where you can see the seconds from where you stand at the toilet (or urinal if you have one installed in your house).

[termis]

I will time it tomorrow morning, but I'd guess somewhere around 1 hour and 28 minutes, give or take 30 seconds.

[NecroPhile]

Try to be original, you worthless fucking retard.  You should die in a fire, tasting your own blood, while screaming for Jesus to save you.

[Keranu]

Deju vu, I was just thinking of this thread the other day.

[rag-time4]

Try to be original, you worthless fucking retard.  You should die in a fire, tasting your own blood, while screaming for Jesus to save you.

HAHA what we need here is a grandfather clock!

[Sparky]

hmmmmm... unsure of time but being Canadian we piss in the snow alot so i can usually write my name and a brief description of myself in 1 stream!!!
add a few beers and i am a fucking fountain.

[Ceti Alpha]

hmmmmm... unsure of time but being Canadian we piss in the snow alot so i can usually write my name and a brief description of myself in 1 stream!!!
add a few beers and i am a fucking fountain.

Don't eat the yellow snow!!

I've had some pretty long sessions, but I've never actually timed one. I'll post later.

[nat]

I bet Canadians use some gay, retarded metric system or other such bullshit to measure their piss duration thus making their entries invalid.

[Arjak]

And I thought I was the only one who thought about things like this...

[guyjin]

3 days.

[Sparky]

I bet Canadians use some gay, retarded metric system or other such bullshit to measure their piss duration thus making their entries invalid.

hahaha....you would think that but no... when canadians want to get there piss on we drink that american monkey piss you call beer ... poor little lambs, you do try!!!

[Arkhan Asylum]

I once peed on a kindergarten class for a solid 12 minutes.

[Joe Redifer]

Try to be original, you worthless fucking retard.  You should die in a fire, tasting your own blood, while screaming for Jesus to save you.

I was wondering who would be the first to catch it.  But this is the perfect forum for it.  Anyway I'd rather die in a fire than drown in a swimming pool so go drink a bottle of AIDS.

[Zeon]

I've never timed myself, nor did I ever think too. Though I can't vouch for the actual time I did have this epic piss once. Happened after spending the day at a friends house and holding it in for 12+ hours while drinking tons of water. I was weird because after the initial powerful stream, without stopping it EVER so slowly got less and less till it was a tiny yet still continuous stream, and finally the drips. I was taking so damn long i was actually getting impatient, I'd wager 2+ minutes easily, as I never had a piss anywhere near like that before or since.

Anyway I'd rather die in a fire than drown in a swimming pool so go drink a bottle of AIDS.

HOLY SHIT!!!!! They bottle AIDS?!?!?!?!?!?!  Where? DAMNIT, YOU WILL TELL ME WHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*ahem* I'm totally not planning to switch out some unsuspecting douchebag's drink out.....

 

[esteban]

I can't even come close to challenging the records that have been documented here in this thread.

Also, we should differentiate between "peeing while flacid" and "peeing while stiff", because that clearly changes things, considerably.

Personally, the latter is one of the most painful exercises in the world, especially if you are not out in the forest and have to aim for a bowl.

[Sinistron]

Here's a little thread derail for you- though bathroom related.
Was at a bachelor party last night- wrecked.  Racked up my worst bathroom fail- I'm a kind enough soul to share it for your amusement.
Stumbled out of bed at like 6 in the morning- dehydrated, head spinning, head smashed by booze and drugs- managed to take a shit- then stood up to try to piss- fell halfway into the toilet and passed out- woke up a few minutes later with my arm in the toilet, my pants down and shit all over my ass.  Fun times.  Just thought I'd share that with all of you.

[guyjin]

 

[esteban]

Here's a little thread derail for you- though bathroom related.
Was at a bachelor party last night- wrecked.  Racked up my worst bathroom fail- I'm a kind enough soul to share it for your amusement.
Stumbled out of bed at like 6 in the morning- dehydrated, head spinning, head smashed by booze and drugs- managed to take a shit- then stood up to try to piss- fell halfway into the toilet and passed out- woke up a few minutes later with my arm in the toilet, my pants down and shit all over my ass.  Fun times.  Just thought I'd share that with all of you.

Sinsitron, you are truly a humble man for sharing that. It was, of course, quite amusing.

But it was also gross. Ewwwwwwwwww.....

;)

[NecroPhile]

Here's a little thread derail for you- though bathroom related.
Was at a bachelor party last night- wrecked.  Racked up my worst bathroom fail- I'm a kind enough soul to share it for your amusement.
Stumbled out of bed at like 6 in the morning- dehydrated, head spinning, head smashed by booze and drugs- managed to take a shit- then stood up to try to piss- fell halfway into the toilet and passed out- woke up a few minutes later with my arm in the toilet, my pants down and shit all over my ass.  Fun times.  Just thought I'd share that with all of you.

Why the hell did you stand up to pee?  Thanks for sharing the giggles, you classy dude. 

[Sinistron]

I also stood up to wipe my ass- or something- I don't remember all that much- supposedly I broke something of Sue's too and threw it into the bathtub.

[Ceti Alpha]

I also stood up to wipe my ass- or something- I don't remember all that much- supposedly I broke something of Sue's too and threw it into the bathtub.

Hahaha!! "Bathroom Fail" 

Man, that's a glorious bathroom adventure. Dang! 

Just the image of you passed out with your arm in the toilet with shit all over your ass. Man oh man.  That must have been one hell of a bachelor party. 

[Sinistron]

That must have been one hell of a bachelor party. 

It was.  Many unexpected twists and turns. 

[Sparky]

Here's a little thread derail for you- though bathroom related.
Was at a bachelor party last night- wrecked.  Racked up my worst bathroom fail- I'm a kind enough soul to share it for your amusement.
Stumbled out of bed at like 6 in the morning- dehydrated, head spinning, head smashed by booze and drugs- managed to take a shit- then stood up to try to piss- fell halfway into the toilet and passed out- woke up a few minutes later with my arm in the toilet, my pants down and shit all over my ass.  Fun times.  Just thought I'd share that with all of you.

haha... i laughed out loud hard on this, and my wife wanted to know what was so funny, telling her the story was not a good idea 

[DJLobo]

Here's a little thread derail for you- though bathroom related.
Was at a bachelor party last night- wrecked.  Racked up my worst bathroom fail- I'm a kind enough soul to share it for your amusement.
Stumbled out of bed at like 6 in the morning- dehydrated, head spinning, head smashed by booze and drugs- managed to take a shit- then stood up to try to piss- fell halfway into the toilet and passed out- woke up a few minutes later with my arm in the toilet, my pants down and shit all over my ass.  Fun times.  Just thought I'd share that with all of you.

At least you made to the bathroom, Sinistron. An old friend of mine used to get so drunk that he'd pee on his pile of dirty laundry, thinking that he made it to the bathroom.

[Ceti Alpha]

Here's a little thread derail for you- though bathroom related.
Was at a bachelor party last night- wrecked.  Racked up my worst bathroom fail- I'm a kind enough soul to share it for your amusement.
Stumbled out of bed at like 6 in the morning- dehydrated, head spinning, head smashed by booze and drugs- managed to take a shit- then stood up to try to piss- fell halfway into the toilet and passed out- woke up a few minutes later with my arm in the toilet, my pants down and shit all over my ass.  Fun times.  Just thought I'd share that with all of you.

At least you made to the bathroom, Sinistron. An old friend of mine used to get so drunk that he'd pee on his pile of dirty laundry, thinking that he made it to the bathroom.

He had a habit of doing this? 

 

[DJLobo]

Here's a little thread derail for you- though bathroom related.
Was at a bachelor party last night- wrecked.  Racked up my worst bathroom fail- I'm a kind enough soul to share it for your amusement.
Stumbled out of bed at like 6 in the morning- dehydrated, head spinning, head smashed by booze and drugs- managed to take a shit- then stood up to try to piss- fell halfway into the toilet and passed out- woke up a few minutes later with my arm in the toilet, my pants down and shit all over my ass.  Fun times.  Just thought I'd share that with all of you.

At least you made to the bathroom, Sinistron. An old friend of mine used to get so drunk that he'd pee on his pile of dirty laundry, thinking that he made it to the bathroom.

He had a habit of doing this? 

 

He was my roommate my senior year of college. Heard him do it at least twice, but there was a couple of other times where I'd wake up in the morning and the room smelled like piss. Naturally, he denied it every time until he smelled his laundry. 

[Sparky]

well i actually timed it today, I had to go bad this afternoon as i did not go all freak'n morning... it was 1min 21 secs long... that is without breaking the stream!!!  those extra squirts at the end don't count    ahhh... feels like i accomplished something today

[Ceti Alpha]

well i actually timed it today, I had to go bad this afternoon as i did not go all freak'n morning... it was 1min 21 secs long... that is without breaking the stream!!!  those extra squirts at the end don't count    ahhh... feels like i accomplished something today

[Tatsujin]

sure it's no record of mine, but I measured my stream after having some beers and a bottle of wine, and it was good 50secs

[boogiecat]

Mine's too almost 25-30 seconds which is too long...

[RoyVegas]

Hmmm derailing for a second but still piss related.

When I used to drive a cab I picked up a REALLY hot chick and some drunk bastard from a hotel.  In route to their destination he asked me to pull to pull over because he had to take a piss and couldn't hold it.  I pull over and he runs to some bushes and takes his piss.  He runs back, jumps in the cabs is just laughing hysterically.  The sexy chick asks him "what the hell is so funny?"  He says "I shit my pants!" and just keeps on laughing.  Wow! thanks for jumping in my cab after shitting in your pants you fucking asshat!  God I'm glad I don't drive a cab anymore.

[guyjin]

 

[NecroPhile]

Hmmm derailing for a second but still piss related.

When I used to drive a cab I picked up a REALLY hot chick and some drunk bastard from a hotel.  In route to their destination he asked me to pull to pull over because he had to take a piss and couldn't hold it.  I pull over and he runs to some bushes and takes his piss.  He runs back, jumps in the cabs is just laughing hysterically.  The sexy chick asks him "what the hell is so funny?"  He says "I shit my pants!" and just keeps on laughing.  Wow! thanks for jumping in my cab after shitting in your pants you fucking asshat!  God I'm glad I don't drive a cab anymore.

What was the sexy chick's response?  If she didn't run for the hills, she must've been a whore. 

[Turbo D]

haha, she is going to shit on his chest when she gets home!

[RoyVegas]

Hmmm derailing for a second but still piss related.

When I used to drive a cab I picked up a REALLY hot chick and some drunk bastard from a hotel.  In route to their destination he asked me to pull to pull over because he had to take a piss and couldn't hold it.  I pull over and he runs to some bushes and takes his piss.  He runs back, jumps in the cabs is just laughing hysterically.  The sexy chick asks him "what the hell is so funny?"  He says "I shit my pants!" and just keeps on laughing.  Wow! thanks for jumping in my cab after shitting in your pants you fucking asshat!  God I'm glad I don't drive a cab anymore.

What was the sexy chick's response?  If she didn't run for the hills, she must've been a whore. 

I don't recall her being angry..  I would have to say she was either one of three things.  1)  She was just used to her scumbag boyfriend/husband, 2) she was a prostitute looking for some easy cash or 3) a chick just looking to rob a poor drunk bastard.  Tough call to be honest.

[NecroPhile]

I don't recall her being angry..  I would have to say she was either one of three things.  1)  She was just used to her scumbag boyfriend/husband, 2) she was a prostitute looking for some easy cash or 3) a chick just looking to rob a poor drunk bastard.  Tough call to be honest.

Is there really any difference between those three?  Not in my experience; all women are there to take your money and/or sanity. 

[RoyVegas]

I don't recall her being angry..  I would have to say she was either one of three things.  1)  She was just used to her scumbag boyfriend/husband, 2) she was a prostitute looking for some easy cash or 3) a chick just looking to rob a poor drunk bastard.  Tough call to be honest.

Is there really any difference between those three?  Not in my experience; all women are there to take your money and/or sanity. 

Now don't be a sceptic, perfect women exist.  Their like Bigfoot or the Lochness Monster, they get sighted here and there but no one really has any true proof.

[Tatsujin]

Hmmm derailing for a second but still piss related.

When I used to drive a cab I picked up a REALLY hot chick and some drunk bastard from a hotel.  In route to their destination he asked me to pull to pull over because he had to take a piss and couldn't hold it.  I pull over and he runs to some bushes and takes his piss.  He runs back, jumps in the cabs is just laughing hysterically.  The sexy chick asks him "what the hell is so funny?"  He says "I shit my pants!" and just keeps on laughing.  Wow! thanks for jumping in my cab after shitting in your pants you fucking asshat!  God I'm glad I don't drive a cab anymore.

best story since long

[Ceti Alpha]

Hmmm derailing for a second but still piss related.

When I used to drive a cab I picked up a REALLY hot chick and some drunk bastard from a hotel.  In route to their destination he asked me to pull to pull over because he had to take a piss and couldn't hold it.  I pull over and he runs to some bushes and takes his piss.  He runs back, jumps in the cabs is just laughing hysterically.  The sexy chick asks him "what the hell is so funny?"  He says "I shit my pants!" and just keeps on laughing.  Wow! thanks for jumping in my cab after shitting in your pants you fucking asshat!  God I'm glad I don't drive a cab anymore.

best story since long